Deceptions & Secrets (Alternative M Chapters)
by divergentpanda46
Summary: When tragedy strikes, Beatrice Prior's life is turned upside down, her plans for the future are jeopardized, and life becomes a lot more complicated. The one silver lining to the path set before her comes in the form of a certain blue-eyed boy in gray. Contains only the M-rated versions of selected chapters from Deceptions & Secrets (T-rated). Co-written by FourTrisHEA.
1. Chapter 1

**Deceptions & Secrets (Alternative M Chapters)  
**by FourTrisHEA & DivergentPanda46

When tragedy strikes, Beatrice Prior's life is turned upside down, her plans for the future are jeopardized, and life becomes a lot more complicated. The one silver lining to the path set before her comes in the form of a certain blue-eyed boy in gray. This book contains only the M-rated versions of selected chapters from Deceptions & Secrets (T-rated) and is not meant to be read on its own.

 **Reminder:**

This book contains alternative M-rated chapters only and is not intended to be a stand-alone story. You will be lost if you are not reading the T-rated version of our story Deceptions & Secrets. The full story is only posted there. It can be found through my (divergentpanda46) author page.

 **Disclaimers:**

**The Divergent Series and its characters are property of the original author, Veronica Roth. Quotes from the original book series may be integrated into the story on occasion- if you recognize it from Divergent, we didn't write it.**

The purpose of publishing this now is so that those who wish to read the M-rated chapters as they are published can follow both stories at the same time- you'll have to wait a few chapters for the first M-rated chapter. Stay tuned!


	2. Chapter 7: Secrets and a Birthday

_Author's Note:_

 _This chapter was originally written as a Mature rating for language and consensual adult sexual situations. We took the M rated chapter and made cuts, and added in toned down wording to make a T version. If you prefer the T version, you can find it in the main Deceptions & Secrets story. The choice is yours._

 _As always thank you for reading!_

 _~ FourTrisHEA & DivergentPanda46_

* * *

 _Chapter Disclaimer: This chapter contains adult-intimate-situations and references to sex. If you are uncomfortable with this, please do not continue to read. Go read the T version. :-)_

* * *

 _ **Chapter 7: Secrets and a Birthday (M version)**_

 _ **Date: One month before Tobias's Choosing Ceremony (Middle of May)**_

 _ ***Beatrice POV***_

Although my eyes are closed, I can see the light streaming in through my bedroom window. I don't open them; I know that once I acknowledge the sunlight I will not be able to go back to sleep. For a moment I enjoy the gift of extra sleep, remembering that it is Sunday and we are allowed one extra hour of sleep on this day.

I hear the water running in the bathroom- the sink, more specifically. How odd that anyone in my family would be up this early. I turn over to lay on my stomach and it is then that I realize that Tobias is lying next to me.

I sit up with a gasp, "Tobias!" I hiss as quietly as possible as I shake his shoulder. He smiles without opening his eyes. He obviously doesn't realize how late in the morning it is. We both overslept.

I slip out of bed, moving the curtain an inch to look outside through my bedroom window. There is already movement in the streets; for a moment I wonder if I have confused the day of the week. No, that is impossible. I clearly remember that yesterday was Saturday as I babysat for two different families last night and I needed to split the evening.

And then I remember, today is a special day of service for Abnegation. That explains why everyone is up and running so early.

I close my eyes briefly remembering yesterday's conversation that went late into the night. It is no wonder we both fell asleep. We talked for hours about our future, our hopes and dreams. It was not the first time that Tobias told me that he loves me and he wants to marry me.

He actually told me that he would rather be Factionless with me by his side than allow anyone to keep us apart. He was so emotional when he said it; the tears shining in his eyes made my heart ache. There is something to be said for knowing that someone loves you so deeply that you may very well be their everything. I love him so much. His happiness means more to me than my own.

I know his choosing day will be soon, and he'll be picking his future faction before me. I had always dreamed of Dauntless, and now that Mother is financially secure and has Marcus…I've allowed myself to dream of that life again. On the other hand, I love Tobias and I believe he is suited for Abnegation. He still needs to take his aptitude test, but I would guess that he will get Abnegation. He thrives here, he is selfless by nature. I didn't say anything, but I know I would be willing to stay in Abnegation in order to be with him. I love him that much.

Last night was the first time we talked about having a family one day. Tobias asked me if I was sure I wanted children. That is an odd question to ask an Abnegation girl as we are raised to find our worth in providing our husbands with a child- or two children, at most. Any more than two children would be viewed as selfish. I immediately told him yes, of course.

When his smile faltered I froze to examine his face, not quite understanding the emotions I was witnessing. He kissed me gently and admitted that he had not been sure if he would ever want to have a child of his own, but in loving me, he can see it now. For the first time ever he can imagine himself having a real family of his own.

As I push last night's conversations out of my mind, I sit next to a sleeping Tobias and whisper in his ear again, "Tobias! We overslept, one of our parents is in the bathroom right now."

His eyes pop open at that, he jumps to sit up. We are quiet for a moment, both listening to the sink running. He jumps out of bed and runs his fingers through his hair. Fear flashes in his eyes, which in turn makes me nervous as well

I never allowed myself to even imagine that we would get caught. I know how much it would devastate my mother. Hurting her would be the worst part; she doesn't deserve more pain in her life. Getting caught would be _so bad..._ I can't even imagine what would happen.

"I'm so sorry Beatrice, this is my fault." He pauses to look at me, and I move to stand closer to him. I can see how scared he is. His anxiety is wearing off on me, and I gently touch his cheek to try to calm him. I hate to see him this way.

It is usually Tobias that is calm and steady. Our roles are temporarily reversed, so I don't want to let him down.

"It's going to be ok. We haven't been caught yet." I pause and look into his blue eyes. "I love you Tobias Eaton, no matter what happens…I love you."

Suddenly his hands slip into my hair at the base of my neck and he gently pulls me towards him. Without hesitation his lip are on mine and his tongue is slipping into my mouth. I am stunned at the desperation I feel in his kiss. I am also consumed by it and want more. I slip one arm around him order to pull him closer and my other fists his night shirt.

As our kiss deepens, I feel as though the air around me is charged with this tension, even fear, that we could get caught. But part of me just doesn't care. I feel so loved while in his arms, and it seems to add to the electricity between us. I know this boy loves me as much as I love him. I trust him completely.

As our kisses continue I suddenly feel his excitement pressing against my lower stomach, and I instantly feel a warmth in my chest. He had once explained to me that an erection happens for boys when they are around a beautiful girl or for no reason at all. I know he thinks I am beautiful, and we both make each other feel things that are special just between us. My thoughts are interrupted when his arm suddenly wraps around the back of my hips to hold me steady and he suddenly rocks his waist against me, rubbing his dick against my stomach. I feel him tremor as he sharply inhales his breath before kissing me harder than he ever has before.

He suddenly gasps and jumps back from me. His breathing is labored and he looks so torn, as though he is in agony.

"Beatrice, that was too much. I am so sorry, please forgive me. I didn't mean to be so forward…" his voice trails off and he notices that I am smiling at him.

I have a deep ache in my stomach and I want to see if the flops in my stomach will repeat if he does that again.

Without overthinking it, I step backwards until my back rests against the wall in my room. I bite my lip and gently pull Tobias with me.

"Beatrice…we can't…I didn't mean to be so forward. I can't do that again," he whispers, his breathing labored.

"Kiss me, please," I whisper to him. "I love you, so much."

His lip trembles as he gently leans down to press his lips to mine, although I notice immediately that he is keeping his lower body a good distance away from me. I decide to be bold; there is also part of me that is desperate to feel that pull in my lower stomach again.

It felt amazing.

Our kisses are sweet and loving as I slip my hands to his hips and pull his lower body to be near mine. He uses his own strength to not allow his body to push against me with any pressure. I notice that the ache in my stomach does not appear, though I desperately want it to.

We break our kiss and he rests his forehead against mine. I know he is trying very hard to resist this. For me, a gate has been opened. I desperately love him and I want to feel him against me.

"Please," I whisper as I nip his lower lip to encourage him. I know he really likes that.

"Beatrice, no," he says as he in turn plants a kiss to my forehead.

I then slide my hands to the side of his hips and gently apply pressure. He inhales sharply.

"Just once more, I want to feel you. I want to feel how much you want me," I whisper. "Please, Tobias."

He leans down and kisses me deeply, his tongue slipping into my mouth. I then give his hips another gentle squeeze and moan softly.

Although I am already leaning against the wall his hands slide down my side and gently slip around to rest on my butt. I whimper as I press back into the wall and, effectively, against his hands.

He stops the kiss and stares into my eyes. His breathing is erratic.

"Tell me at any time if you want me to stop, this is completely new for me too," he whispers, his eyes not leaving mine.

Suddenly I feel his very hard dick as he gently and slowly moves his hips to rub up and down against me. We look in each other's eyes.

It is hitting me against my lower stomach but then I have a very unusual sensation in between my legs. Tobias watches me intently as my breathing becomes quicker. I pull his hips even closer to me. I bite my lower lip to keep from making noise.

"Is this ok?" he whispers.

"Tobias…I feel, I don't know how to explain it. I feel so strange, down _there_. Like really, really good," I end in a whimper. I find myself pushing off the wall to desperately get closer to him.

I notice that he has a fine sheen of sweat across his brow.

He looks pained for a moment, and then he whispers my name softly.

As we stare in each other's eyes it is as though we both decide to share a deep kiss at the same time, tilting our heads to allow our faces to move in precision as our tongues move together lovingly.

I immediately notice he has stopped pressing against me as my body screams in annoyance.

"Tobias..." I stammer.

He immediately jumps back from me and looks worried. "Did I hurt you? Was this too much?! Beatrice, I'm sorry!" he whispers.

I bite my lip nervously and think about what I want from him. But I am not sure if I am brave enough to ask him. As much as we love each other, this may be even too forward for me. And then I realize that I am desperate to feel it, I want to feel his bulge against me…there. I search his eyes, trying to imagine how he will react if I say what I'm thinking.

Obviously we would never have sex before marriage. But just once I want to feel him rub against me at my core, above our clothing.

"Beatrice? Are you ok?" he whispers while moving to pull me into his arms.

I blush furiously and nod my head in a yes. He notices that my cheeks are burning.

He kisses my nose and asks, "Was this too much? I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. I love you, Beatrice."

I clear my throat, it's now or never. "It wasn't too much. I am embarrassed to tell you the truth…I want more."

He gulps, his adam's apple bobbing intensely. As his eyes widen I giggle nervously.

"Um…" he says.

I lean close to him, "Please, just once. I want you to rub against me…in the right place. We both have clothes on, I just want to see how it will feel."

He actually inhales sharply and then holds his breath.

"Please," I whisper. "I mean, only if it is ok with you…"

I then wonder if I have asked too much, maybe I am wrong to want to feel…that. As I am about to apologize he leans in and kisses me slowly, sensually.

I notice that he tries to bend his knees enough to get lower, in order to make contact in the spot I crave. But it doesn't work. We both smile after his second failed attempt. He is too tall, and I am too short.

"As you can see, I don't _really_ know what I am doing here…" he whispers in my ear.

"What if way lay in the bed?" I say while biting my lip and blushing furiously.

His eyes actually widen in shock.

I pull him towards the bed and gently lay down while pulling him with me. I have never been so bold in my life. I also trust him. I trust him with my life, I trust him with this.

I know that Tobias Eaton would never push this too far. We lay side by side as we kiss gently, something we have done many times before. But I haven't forgotten what I am anxious to try.

I gently press my lower body against his.

He clears his throat, "All you have to say is 'no' or 'stop', ok?"

I smile as I lay on my back and open my arms to him, he tentatively moves over me and tries to lay down on top of me while supporting his upper body weight. I feel him at my stomach again.

We quickly realize that lying this way is not really making the contact we were aiming for. He smiles at me and shrugs, I am also not sure why this isn't working. We don't need to say a word as we realize the moment has passed.

We both just smile and he leans down to kiss me lovingly. I love him so much. I can't wait until are married, and then we will need to figure this out.

As our kisses intensify I suddenly feel that strong ache between my legs again, and this time it is as though my body and his figure it out at the same time. The moment I gently move my legs apart he pushes his body into the space in between them. Without hesitation I move my knees up and suddenly I feel his hard dick pressing against my panties, as my nightgown has ridden up to my waist.

I gasp as I have never felt such a strong pleasure anywhere on my body before. He groans and buries his face into my neck. "Please...now" I moan.

His hips begin gently moving. I feel his shaft gently rubbing against my most sensitive area.

I throw my head back and bite my lip painfully as I have the strongest desire to scream his name. I am desperate for him, I would give anything to be married to him right now, at this very moment, so that he could satisfy the intense desire I am feeling.

Suddenly he pulls the side of my nightgown down my shoulder exposing my left breast. Without warning his lips attach to my nipple and he gently kisses it before taking it in his mouth.

An intense zing of pleasure shoots from my nipple straight to my core, and I whimper, "Oh God, yes." I run my fingers through his hair as I then whimper his name.

I watch as he pauses to whisper my name and then gives my breast one gentle kiss before pulling my nightgown back up.

It is only then that I realize the water of the shower is running and I have no idea how long ago my mother or Marcus started it. They could be wrapping up in just moments. Tobias seems to have the same thought and he quickly sits up on my bed and pulls me up with him.

"The only thing I can think of that would be worse than being caught leaving your bedroom, is being caught leaving your room with my huge erection!" Tobias whispers.

I giggle and kiss his cheek. We agree that I will look out my door first, as we are in my room, and then he will quickly run to his room. As we walk to the door, the shower is still running.

I slip my hand in his, I don't know if it is because we just did something so intense and personal…but I need his reassurance. I need to know that we are ok, that he still loves me.

"I won't see you all day, I will be with the rest of the women at the clothing drive. And once I am free, you and the men will be starting the next shift of moving the heavy boxes," I pause, hating the neediness I hear in my voice. "We won't even be having dinner together tonight."

Tobias stops and pulls me close to him, resting his chin on the top of my head. His fingertips gently touch my chin to tilt my face to look at his. His eyes study mine, and then he slowly and tenderly kisses my lips.

"I love you so much, Beatrice Prior. I adore you. I promise you, tonight I will slip in your room. Only to see you and to hold you." He clears his throat. "As amazing as that was, we can't do that again. My urge to…take you, is too strong. When we are married, I am going to make love to you the way you deserve. I promise. But we need to be smart, we need to wait."

I nod, knowing in my heart he is right. Had he just _asked me_ … I would have gladly given him every part of me. He already has me. I am his, as he is mine.

"Tonight, I promise." He smiles.

As I look out the door and hear the shower still running, the hallway is clear. He quickly goes to his room and shut the door behind him.

As I am in the process of closing my door, my mother steps out of her bedroom and makes eye contact with me. She frowns for a second, "Beatrice? Is everything ok? I was just heading to your room to wake you."

"Good morning, Mother. The noise on the streets woke me up, I was nervous that we had all over slept," I say as calmly as I can manage.

She smiles at me and instructs me to hurry as we do need to go. As we both look to the restroom and hear that the shower is still running I realize that Marcus has been in the shower for quite a while.

I think back to my parent's marriage, what I was privy to witness over the years. In an instance like this, my mother would have had no issue gently knocking on the bathroom door and sweetly reminding my father about our time constraints.

I see the sadness in her eyes as she faces me again. "Beatrice, since we will be working so hard today, lets save our showers for our return. Please dress quickly and meet me downstairs."

I note that her smile does not reach her eyes. I nod and smile in return as I quickly follow her directions.

It is amazing to me that the leader of the Abnegation faction, by definition selfless…is the most selfish person I have ever met.

* * *

I wipe the sweat off my brow as I continue to work. The day has felt very long and today's service project is taking its toll on me. Once a year the women and girls of Abnegation organize a large clothing drive in Millennium Park. It is open for all of the factions to drop off gently used clothing.

We spend all day gathering the clothing and sorting it into piles based by gender, style and then size. It is unseasonably hot this year; we hold this drive in the middle of May, on a day that normally would be warm, but still cool enough to be able to work hard and remain cool.

I notice that when my mother is away from Marcus, she is truly happier. There are even moments when I look at her and forget all that we both have lost: two wonderful men who meant the world to us. I will forever love and miss Father and Caleb. Sometimes the pain has dulled so much that I can even forget for a moment, or at an event. But as grief rolls in waves, the pain of the next memory is always stronger.

As Marcus's wife, Mother is now the top organizer of this event. I watch her as she works diligently while also motivating all of us to do our best. The women and girls of our faction love her. I see the warmth and respect on their faces.

Although pride is not an acceptable emotion for Abnegation, in this moment I could not be prouder to have this incredible woman as my mother. I love her dearly.

* * *

That evening I enjoy a wonderful meal with Mother, just the two of us. As much as I miss Tobias, I am enjoying this special time alone with her.

During moments alone, I allow my thoughts to venture back to my morning with Tobias. I love him, and I am counting the minutes until I can see him again this evening.

My mother advises me that this year's drive had taken in so many donations that she does not think that Marcus and Tobias will make it home before we need to go to bed. I nod my head and remind myself that I will see Tobias late this evening.

I hug Mother good night and I enjoy the hug that she gives me- it is stronger than her usual one. I sometimes wonder if she even realizes the subtle differences in how she treats me when we are alone, compared with when Marcus is in the room.

* * *

I am unable to fall asleep that night. I hated not seeing him all day. I smile to myself when I hear Marcus and Tobias return home. I remain still as I listen to their quiet actions as they prepare for bed.

Once I hear complete silence in the house I smile to myself. I know that Tobias will wait a little longer before he comes to my room.

I lay down and rest my eyes. I hope he comes soon, I love him and I want to see him. He promised he would come.

* * *

I am startled awake from a bad dream. It was not a terrible nightmare, but still scary enough that I felt my heart jump as I quickly sat up. It takes me a moment to lay back down on my bed and relax.

It is then, with the sun's light, that I realize that it is already the early morning. I frown to myself; he promised me that he would come to my room last night.

I lay on my back and stare at the ceiling as I replay my conversation with Tobias. He told me he loved me and promised he would come to my room.

Why do I feel this way? I have a knot in my stomach.

And then it occurs to me that he has been volunteering all evening and late into the night. The portion of this service activity that the men performed was very labor intensive. He probably fell asleep.

I figure out that we still have a couple of hours before the rest of the house wakes up. For the first time I decide to slip out of my bed and walk quietly to his bedroom. When I try to turn the knob I am surprised that the door is locked. One of Marcus's house rules is that children are not permitted to lock our bedroom doors.

I pause. I know I should just walk back to my bedroom, but I want to see him so badly. Even if just for a moment.

I breathe in and out before bringing my knuckles to his door and knocking as softly as possible. I pause and wait, my heart is racing. I glance over my shoulder at my mother and Marcus's bedroom door, praying they don't wake up.

After a moment I knock one more time. Suddenly Tobias cracks his bedroom door open. I smile with relief and move to walk in. It is when he does not step back from the door frame that I realize that something is not right.

"Tobias? Um, can I come in?" I whisper, my eyes searching his. It doesn't even occur to me that he would not want to see me.

After a short pause he nods his head no, "Beatrice, please understand…I am just not feeling well. I am really sick."

My smile fades as I look at him, I study his face looking for something. Is he disappointed in me because of this morning? Did I take it too far? Did I give him too much of me?

"I love you. Please don't look at me that way, Beatrice. I am just really sick. I need to get back to sleep, and you need to go to your room. Go to bed," he whispers as he steps back and slowly closes the door on me.

I turn and walk to my room. I am numb, I want to believe him. I really do.

But then I think about what we did in my room, I can't help but wonder if I ruined things between us.

My lip trembles as I lay in bed and bury myself under the covers. I allow myself to weep quietly. My heart hurts.

* * *

The next morning when I walk down the stairs to help make breakfast, I am surprised to see my mother already in the kitchen preparing breakfast. This is a chore that Tobias and I share.

"Good morning, dear. Could you please set the table? I want to make sure breakfast is ready before Marcus comes down."

"Yes, mother. Is Tobias coming down, I mean how many place settings should I set?" I ask.

"Your father let me know last night that Tobias was feeling very sick, it hit him at the day of service. He will be staying home from school today and we should not disturb him," she sighs. "Marcus made it clear that he wants Tobias to rest, and we are not to knock on his door."

I sense that she has an issue with Marcus telling her that she is not allowed to check in on Tobias.

I nod my head in agreement.

As I eat my breakfast quietly I listen to Mother and Marcus go over the details of the clothing drive and all of the work that needs to still be done. My mother asks me if I could please bring their dinner by again as they will be working very late. I nod in agreement.

Marcus instructs me that I am to not bother Tobias, and since I will be walking alone to bring their meal he wants me to make the trip before it gets dark. I nod in agreement.

There is a knock at our door and Marcus informs me that he asked Robert to walk to me to school along with his sister.

After saying goodbye to my parents I walk down the road with Robert and Susan, I take one last look at my house and I see that the curtains in Tobias's window are swaying, as though he has just been standing there a moment ago.

* * *

As I go through my classes for the day, I can't stop thinking about Tobias. I am trying to make sense of what is happening. He didn't come to my room as he had promised, and when he turned me away he told me that he as sick. Although he didn't seem ill… but Tobias is sick enough to miss school with Marcus's approval. He must be really sick, then.

I close my eyes and feel an overwhelming sense of guilt wash over me. I really doubted him, even after he told me that he loved me. I know that he saw the look on my face and he shut his bedroom door. He saw that I didn't believe him.

I can't let the entire day go by without seeing Tobias. When lunch arrives I head to the nurse's offices and use the excuse that I have a terrible headache, adding that I may be dehydrated from all of the work I did out in the sun the day before. The nurse believes me, writes me a note for classes, and I am able to go home.

The streets are empty as I make my way home. I know that Mother and Marcus will be at the offices all day- and all evening, for that matter.

I silently enter the house and walk in. I don't want to disturb Tobias if he is resting. As I quietly walk through the house I look around and see that all is in perfect order. I wonder if my mother did this after I left, although I can't imagine that Marcus would allow her to do chores that are normally reserved for Tobias and me to complete after school. I am about to open the refrigerator to make Tobias a snack to bring to his room when I hear a horrible scream come from upstairs.

I instantly get chills, I have never heard someone make a noise like that. When I hear Tobias cry out for a second time I race up the stairs and burst into his room. The sight that greets me is like nothing I have ever seen before.

* * *

My first thought upon entering his room and seeing a man's back, completely bloodied and covered with welts, is that Tobias must have found a person that was in a _terrible_ accident, and he brought him home to help. For a second I am relieved I came home so that I can provide aid as well.

"Beatrice?! What are you doing here?" I hear Tobias say as he quickly whirls around and I can no longer see _his back_. "You shouldn't have seen this! You need to go. Please just go!"

I hear the pain in his voice, and in that moment I realize it is my Tobias that is horribly injured. I think back to his screams of agony.

 _My God, what happened to him?!_

My eyes widen and I feel sick to my stomach. "Tobias, look at your back!?" I step closer to him.

"It's nothing. Please, just go downstairs. I will be down shortly," he says as his voice falters. I notice he has a fine sheen of sweat on his face and chest, as though he may be fevered.

"I'm fine, go," he repeats.

"You're _fine_?" I shake my head as though he just told me he can fly and is planning to visit the moon.

We are both silent as we stare at each other from across the room. It is then that I notice he has a medical kit laying on his bed, the contents spilled out. I am familiar with the medical kit we owned before they arrived, and from packing up the Eaton's bathroom myself, I also remember bringing the small medical kit their family previously owned. The kit on his bed is one I have never seen before and is much larger than a normal Abnegation family would store in their home. Why does he have that?

"I can explain," he whispers as he sees me staring intently at the kit and supplies. "I never wanted to burden you, I still don't. There is also a part of me that is so ashamed."

 _Marcus._

My lip trembles, I am instantly filled with rage. I have never been so angry in all of my life. I have never felt hate until this very moment.

"Your father is an animal. You have nothing to be ashamed about," I say firmly, meeting his gaze full on.

The nervousness that Tobias had a moment earlier is gone, a look of relief passes his face.

"I was afraid if you found out, I don't know," His voice softens. "You aren't giving me that look. Like I'm a kicked puppy or something."

"Well," I say. "You're not."

For a second his dark blue eyes are on mine, and he's quiet. He steps closer to me and leans in close, brushing my lips with his. He gently grasps my hands in his and then presses his mouth to mine.

We gently kiss for a couple of minutes and then I feel him wince.

"May I help you? I promise I won't freak out, I love you and I want to try to take care of you," I whisper.

He frowns, "It's not that I don't trust you, but it is so horrible…I don't want you to be exposed to _this._ I can do it myself. I have a lot of practice…unfortunately."

I frown and feel my stomach drop, this is what I was afraid of. I have to control my face and body because I want to scream. I want to break things.

I want to hurt Marcus Eaton. I want to hurt him badly.

"Come on, you can help me with the parts I can't reach." He pauses. "I'll show you what you have to do."

The next hour is one of the hardest of my life: watching the man I love expertly tend to his horrific wounds and then trying to wrap my mind around the reason why he is so proficient.

I force myself to remain calm. I know that what I am feeling is little compared to his pain. I love him, and I will be strong for him.

I gently touch his shoulder on one of the few areas that is not blistered or bleeding. His skin is very warm to the touch. "Tobias, I am worried you may have an infection. You have a slight fever."

He coughs, "It will be ok. He has been this bad…before. I just need to rest and drink some water. It will pass. The ointment and special bandages will do their job."

As he is speaking I allow my eyes to roam his back; there are also terrible healed scars, of all different sizes and color. I imagine they are from different periods in time.

"How long?" I ask softly. "How long has this been going on?"

Tobias asks me to lay down next to him on the bed. I lay on my stomach like he is and squeeze in right next to him. I am careful not to touch his injuries, but I instantly love the feel of his side pressed against mine. The moment I am settled and comfortable he looks at me and smiles.

We talk for hours. Tobias shares that as a child it was very traumatic for him, witnessing the way that his mother was treated by Marcus. He gave me some examples of how unhappy his mother had been, how awful Marcus was to her. He admits that as terrible as it was to lose his mother, he was happy that she could finally be at peace: death was better than the abuse Marcus had inflicted on her. I listen quietly as Tobias shares his feelings, and thoughts, and even as he desperately tries to analyze his father's behavior.

Tobias explains that he was very worried when our parents first married. He feared for Mother, but then he was so relieved at how happy she makes Marcus. Mother really is the perfect Abnegation wife, she works tirelessly and support Marcus at every turn. Marcus loves that. After I listen to Tobias's reasoning I believe that he is right, my mother is the perfect wife, and Marcus loves perfection. He would never hurt her.

He tells me about his mother's funeral and how Marcus changed with him immediately after. He tells me about the physical abuse, how Marcus views it as a parenting tool to make him a stronger man, to make him better. He also tells me about the closet- the hours he has spent locked up like an animal. He even admits to me that since Mother and I have moved in, he is thrilled he has not been left to sit in the closet all night long. I feel sick to my stomach listening to it all.

He makes me promise not to tell anyone, especially Mother. He knows that Marcus will go insane and lash out if Mother finds out. Tobias admits that Marcus cares deeply for what Natalie thinks of him. It is safer for everyone if it remains a secret. I know that he is right, but the deceit and allowing Marcus to get away with that makes me ill.

"Do you remember when I told you that I would rather be Factionless than have a life without you?" he whispers.

I nod, encouraging him to continue.

"I... don't know if I can stay here. I want to be here with you…but I don't think Marcus will ever leave me alone. But if I leave Abnegation, it will be a two full years before you could follow me." He catches himself, I see that his cheeks are now flushed. "I mean, if you wanted to come with me of course."

"I love you, Tobias Eaton. We don't need to decide where in this moment. Know this: I would also rather be Factionless and by your side, than to ever be away from you. You are my future. As long as we are together, I will be happy." I pause remembering my dreams. "And for the record, I have always had a strong interest in Dauntless, in case that is something you would be open to considering…"

"I love you Beatrice. And yes, if you wanted Dauntless…I think we could make that work. Honestly, I am just relieved you didn't say Amity."

We both laugh at the thought.

That was the day that Tobias and I really understood what it meant to be in love. Separate from the smiles, touches, kind gestures, and passionate moments…we both learned what it meant to be there for someone when they needed you the most.

We became a team, we had no more secrets between us and we began planning our future, while also enjoying our remaining time together.

* * *

 **++o+ Two Weeks Have Passed +o++**

I scowl anticipating my volunteer obligation handing out supplies in Factionless today. Last week Marcus encouraged Mother to organize a day of service that would take a lot of planning and then result in a full day of volunteer work on the other side of town. Marcus pointed out that we usually stick to the Factionless zone that is closest to Abnegation to hand out supplies.

Today he wanted the women to set up a post at the furthest point of Factionless territory so that we could reach people that normally would not have access to supplies. My mother loved the idea and jumped in at full force. It was one of the few times I have ever seen her give Marcus a genuinely loving smile.

It made me sick, not because I was thinking of my father, but because I knew what Marcus was really planning. He wants Mother and I to be away from the house the entire day so that he can torment Tobias on his actual birthday.

Tobias had explained that Marcus had an obsession about making Tobias a better man, so the closet on his birthday was a ritual for him.

It killed me to leave the house this morning knowing that Tobias will be suffering all day. His claustrophobia is unbearable. Tobias put on a brave face and smiled at Mother and I while encouraging us to have a wonderful day of service and to be safe.

As Marcus was waiting outside and speaking to a few other council members, I told my mother I needed to use the restroom one last time. She encouraged me to make haste as we had a lot of work to do in little time.

I flew back into the house and Tobias was cleaning the morning dishes. He looked startled to see me.

I ran over to him and kissed him lovingly. He immediately held me tightly.

"Happy birthday, my love," I whispered as I gently touched his face. I leaned up and pulled him down by the shirt so that I could whisper in his ear, "I know today will be hard, but I want you to know…that I have the most amazing birthday gift planned for you. Ok? Please hold on to that, let that help you make it through today. Promise me? I need to know you will be ok."

I hated the way that my voice cracked at the end, the I felt desperation leaving him behind.

"I will be fine. You be safe and hurry home. We will spend time together later," he said. "Hurry, go."

I ran into the bathroom and flushed the toilet and then washed my hands. I wanted to make sure my lie about using the bathroom would stand up.

The day ahead of me is long, but I am also nervous for later.

I know what my gift for Tobias will be, I just hope he likes it. I smile as I pat the small bottle of lotion in the pocket of my dress. I managed to take it unnoticed from the large bin of donation supplies.

Surely the factionless can do with one less small bottle of lotion. Besides, I need it for a very good cause.

* * *

 ***Tobias POV***

I lay in silence for a full hour after our family has gone to bed for the night. I know that Mother is exhausted from the day of service, and Marcus is always so pleased with himself at the end of day when I have been punished successfully. I made it a point not to provoke him in any way. I hate the closet, but at least once it is over I am able to function normally, unlike when he beats me so badly that I can barely stand after.

Once enough time has passed I silently slip into Beatrice's bedroom and shut the door. She sits up and smiles at me. She looks lovely, especially with her hair brushed out.

"Hey," I say.

"Hi. Please lock the door," she whispers.

I frown, I worry that if someone discovers that the door is locked, they could assume that things are worse than they are.

I open my mouth to object when she smiles at me asks me again. I do as she wishes. I run to sit next to her on the bed and pull her in my arms. She throws her arms around me and pulls me close.

"Are you OK? Tell me, did he…" she says desperately.

"Beatrice, look at me. I am fine, and it is over. Knowing that I would get to see you and do this…" I kiss her roughly on the lips and she whimpers, "made today's closet exercise easy."

She smiles at me and nods.

"Well then happy birthday, my love," she whispers as she lays down on the bed and invites me to lay next to her. We begin to gently kiss, but keep it at that.

It has been two weeks since we had that early morning of passion, and then my terrible beating. We agreed that it was amazing, but something that could easily lead to a lot more if we were not careful. We have taken a step back and just enjoyed hugging and kissing.

She slowly turns her head so she can kiss my neck. I instantly feel a pull in my groin as I am awakened.

"I love you, and I hope you like your present," she says, giggling lightly but also sounding nervous.

"I am sure I will, what it is?" I ask teasingly. "Why are you making me wait?"

She pulls me back into a deep kiss and assures me she will give it to me soon. I smile and deepen our kiss. I don't care about any gift; having her close to me is all I want in life.

As we are both lying side by side on the bed, facing each other it does not surprise me when she places her hand on my hip to steady herself.

She breaks the kiss and pulls her head back, biting her lip nervously. I smile at her, searching her eyes, trying to understand what she is thinking. She watches my face intently as I feel her hand slowly move down from my hip to stroke my shaft above my clothing.

I gasp at the unexpected contact, my dick immediately loving the attention from her fingertips.

"Um, Beatrice?" I mumble, barely able to get the words out.

She bites her lips as her fingers begin rubbing me up and down along the seam of my sleep pants.

A shiver goes through me as I feel my dick getting hard. She is now applying more pressure as she strokes me up and down through the thin material of my pants. I remember that I am not wearing boxers, I never do for sleep.

I feel my dick get hard all the way as my breathing becomes more erratic. Beatrice's eyes locked in mine, she bites her lip flirtatiously. She looks really pleased with herself.

She gently leans towards me and I meet her halfway for a kiss. As our tongues begin moving together, I whimper. She is still stroking along my shaft, up and down.

As she slips her hand past the waistband of my pants and her hand touches my penis she seems startled for a second.

"You ok?" I ask her huskily.

She wraps her fingers around my shaft and starts to stroke me up and down. "I was just surprised you weren't wearing underwear," she whispers as she leans closer to me and begins kissing my neck.

I wrap my arms around her and pull her close to me. I try to stay still and enjoy the feelings that are washing over me. The throbbing in my dick is like nothing I have ever felt before. In my life I have never imagined a moment like this. I didn't know that a woman could do this to a man.

"I hope you are enjoying your birthday present, my love," she whispers. I run my fingertips along her jaw and then bury my hand behind her head. I hold her face while I lean over and begin kissing her passionately.

After a couple of minutes we break to breathe and she pulls her hands out of my pants. I assume she is done, my breathing now erratic. I can feel the tightness in my stomach as my erection is huge. I don't care how worked up I am. I love being close to her.

"Beatrice…I don't know what to say. This is incredible, I never knew…Thank you, baby, I have never felt as good as I do right now. That was an amazing birthday present." I smile at her and she blushes.

She firmly pushes me so that I am lying on my back, her hands begin pulling down my sleep pants. "Um? What are you…I mean? Beatrice!" I hiss as the open air hits my dick and I realize I am fully erect and visible to her.

"Is this ok?" she asks shyly as her hand returns to my dick and she tentatively touches me for a moment. Both of our eyes watch as my dick twitches the moment she makes contact. She bites her lip and smiles.

"This is more than ok. I just need to make sure you are ok with this too? How did you, I mean…wow!" I mutter and her fingers wrap around my shaft and begin stroking me up and down.

"I overheard some older girls from Factionless talking… I want to make you feel good. They said that I should ask you if you want me to be a little softer or rougher as I touch you." She gives my shaft a gentle squeeze and for the first time my hips move to pump in and out of her hand.

She lays down next to me and resumes kissing my neck while she touches me softly. I am so overcome by lust that I know I need to touch her. As much as I want to pleasure her between her legs, I don't think she is ready. I watch her face as I pull one side of her nightgown down her shoulder, I gently begin fondling her beautiful breast, I watch amazed as I roll her hardening nipple between my fingers. She whimpers and gives my dick a little squeeze, her eyes heavy with lust. I kiss her hard and she moans as I gently squeeze her nipple.

Suddenly she moves to straddle me, sitting on my upper thighs, not making contact with my penis. Her nightgown is still pulled down her shoulder; her gorgeous breast is perky and calling to me. My hand trembles as I reach up to pull her night gown all the way down to rest around her waist.

My eyes immediately focus on the gift I gave her: the necklace and heart charm that lays low enough to rest between her beautiful breasts. I love that my secret gift is always with her, hidden from the rest of the world. I gently touch the cool metal of the intricate heart charm. I know Beatrice has my heart, and she always will.

She looks me in the eyes and bites her lower lip, her arms suddenly crossed covering her chest, effectively moving my hand away.

"I'm sorry, I should have asked first…I didn't mean," I mutter sheepishly.

"It's just…I mean, I know I don't have big breasts like so many women do…" she interrupts me but then lets her sentence die.

"Your breasts are the most amazing things I have ever seen. And they are perfect, perfect for me," I say firmly as I shift her a little lower so I can sit up to face her. I move her arms aside as I watch her expression to make sure this is ok. She nods her head to encourage me.

I press my forehead to hers and whisper, "First, I can't tell you how much it means to me that you wear the gift I gave you. The truth is, you have this charm heart...but you will always have my real heart as well. I love you. Second, I really like to touch and kiss your breasts when you touch me. Actually, I love it."

She blushes and smiles. Beatrice brings each of my hands to her breasts and begins kissing me seductively.

She reaches around me, under her pillow and pulls out a small bottle. I immediately recognize it as the body lotion we sometimes hand out to the factionless.

"Beatrice?" I say softly.

"Trust me, I want to make you feel amazing. Ok?" she says, "It is your birthday after all. I want to replace all of the years of terrible memories on this day… if you will let me."

I swallow the lump that has formed in my throat... again. It amazes me how much this woman loves me. How did I get so lucky to fall madly in love with such an incredible woman who actually loves me back?

I watch as she puts a glob of lotion in the palm of her hand and rubs them together. She kisses me gently as I begin caressing her breasts again. I take one moment to bend over and take her left nipple into my mouth while I massage her other breast.

I suddenly gasp as she wraps both of her hands around my dick and begins pumping me up and down, the lotion adding a level of feeling that almost causes me to buck us both of the bed.

"Fuck! Oh my God, that feels amazing," I gasp as I tightly close my eyes to stop myself from screaming out in pleasure. I lay back down on the bed and watch her pump her hands up and down my dick, I place my hands on her thighs and she is sitting on my lap as her hands work me up and down.

I begin pumping up and down into her hand as well.

"Baby, I can feel it. I am so close…when I come my seed will shoot out. There can be a lot," I gasp as I close my eyes desperately try to hold off my orgasm. "I don't want to get it all over you and your sheets. We have to stop, we have to stop right now. Please! I can't take much more." I moan.

When she reaches past me and pulls a towel, that I recognize from the linen closet, out from under her pillow my eyes widen.

"I want you to come. I want to make you feel incredible," she says sweetly

I snatch the towel and lay it above my groin area. I nod to her and she begins pumping my dick as I start pumping my hips as well. I moan and say random things, I mumble incoherently as I feel the tightness in my balls and suddenly I am seeing stars. She continues pumping as I feel my seed releasing.

Once I am done I collapse back on the bed, completely spent.

She smiles at me proudly, and I smile back.

I watch as she uses the towel to clean off her hands as well. And then she begins wiping me down.

"I love you, forever, Beatrice," I whisper, undoubtedly with a look of awe on my face.

She smiles at me. "I know. Happy birthday, my love."

This is the most amazing birthday I have ever had.


	3. Chapter 25: A Health Scare

_Author Note_ _: This chapter was originally written as the Mature (M) rating. It was then edited to fit the General rating for our more delicate readers. If you would like to read the T (general) version please close this story and find the T version of ch 25 in the main story._

 _We also wanted to give a friendly reminder, although in this story the reader is well aware of both Four and Tris's internal thoughts and many actions - - the characters are not privy to, nor making decisions with, all of the information you, the reader, has._

* * *

 _ **Chapter 25: A Health Scare (M version)**_

 _ **Date: Dauntless Initiation – Stage 2 / Baby Natty is 6 1/2 months old (End of July)**_

 _ **^^ Two Weeks Have Passed ^^**_

 _ ***Tris POV***_

"Why is everyone so tired today? Let's move!" Four hollers at us as we take another lap around the training facility. "We are nowhere near done, so don't get lazy on me now."

His scowl can be seen across the room. Between the crankiness both he and Lauren have been showing at training these last two weeks and the workouts, all initiates are exhausted and on edge.

I'm keeping pace with Edward at the front of the group again. If I build up a lead now, I'll be able to slow down and get a good look at the clock on the high wall of the training room when we pass it.

The clock reads 5:42PM. I sigh with relief, I am still well within my time to get to daycare before it closes. The problem is that I have no idea how much longer Four intends to work us.

Though Phase II of Initiation started a couple of days after Visiting day, there seems to be some kind of disagreement about the training curriculum at the top leadership level. I overheard Four talking to Uri's brother about it, mentioning that both he and Lauren are caught in the middle as the different leaders scramble to get the trainers to say something that will support their own personal view.

While it is worked out, the trainers have been showing us minimal combat, and we've been concentrating on conditioning. They haven't given us our Rankings for Phase I yet, either.

The good news is that these two weeks have been used to build endurance. Mine was already decent from my previous training and it has only gotten better. Much better. The time I was able to slip away while at Abnegation has been priceless, but now that I am in Dauntless and my focus is on training, the results are incredible to see. I never dreamed I could feel so strong and capable.

As we finish our last lap and are taking a quick water break I see that Four is standing at the board with his marker in hand. Turning to look at me he waves me over and then turns back to the board as he sees me start to walk towards him.

I bite back a groan when I see he is writing out a list of physical exercises we must complete before being dismissed for the day. I hate burpees, which I see listed throughout. Ugh.

"I know daycare closes at 6:30. What time you need to leave here in order to get Natty on time?" Four asks me quietly without looking at me. I smile with relief, he hasn't forgotten about her, and he cares enough to make sure training is done in time.

"I need to be running out of the training room by 6:15 to be safe," I answer.

He nods and dismisses me. I notice he erases the last two activities he had planned from the board.

"Water time is over, here are the last of your conditioning exercises. As soon as you complete the list you are free to leave for the day. We will meet here tomorrow at 7:30 AM, so get a good night's sleep. You'll need it," he barks at us.

I hear the groans that my group of friends quietly make. Our usual gang has made plans to have a small party tonight right after dinner- drinking and a game of strip poker. Lynn's sister and her roommate will both be at the fence tonight, so they are using her apartment again.

I flat out said no when I was invited. They knew not to push me on it.

I smile at them as they quickly decide to still keep to the original plan. Tomorrow should make for an interesting day of conditioning.

I jump into the list and power through it, Four is packing up but taking the occasional moment to watch us.

"Myra, that is not a true burpee. Do it right or you'll be starting over," Four says calmly.

"Peter! If I see you cutting corners again, I will give up my dinner to make you do this board five times. Don't be pathetic and lazy!" Four hisses cruelly.

"Good job, Edward," he compliments.

I am neck and neck with Edward and I always pride myself on watching my technique. I've noticed that Four is careful not to compliment me too much in front of the group.

Thankfully there was no sign of Marcus on Visiting Day. Nothing remotely romantic has happened between Four and me since that kiss on Visiting Day. We both agreed it was a mistake and put it behind us. Four has been kind and courteous to me, but he is even more careful now as to how he treats me when others are around. He told me this morning that the training instructors will have to meet with leadership for a working dinner, so he wasn't sure what time he would get back to the apartment tonight. He rolled his eyes fearing it would be really late.

When at the apartment, we get along well. We have not discussed Mother or Marcus, but on occasion I catch Four looking very sad and usually after he is unable to look me in the eyes. I believe his reaction at hearing what Marcus had done to Mother was genuine. Although the person I once knew decided to end what we had, I do believe he cared a great deal for Mother.

The baby makes things easy for us at the apartment, she lightens the mood. She really loves Four. There is a part of me that wonders if she somehow senses that he is related to her as much as I am. He is biologically her brother, as much as I am her sister.

I push the thoughts away. Natty is my daughter now. Period.

I finish my exercises and stand; Four and I lock eyes. He turns to look at the clock – 6:10 PM. He smiles and then turns back to me.

I smile back and then avert my eyes. Although my friends still have a few more rounds to go, I stop to tell Christina that I won't be eating dinner in the dining hall. I have leftovers in the fridge and since it is so late I'm just going to turn in early.

Christina frowns, she looks disappointed I will not be at dinner. I smile and ask Chris if she would help me and Natty with a shopping trip one night later this week; Natty is ready to go up a size in clothes. We both laugh at how silly my question was, of course she will be thrilled to. That was like asking Uriah if he would like a piece of Dauntless cake.

Christina, Will and Al wave goodbye as I run out. They know I'm in a rush to pick up Natty.

Having a little more time, I can walk at a normal pace across the compound to get to the daycare.

I think about Christina, and how upset we both were during the capture the flag game. I had to force myself to forgive her, my inclination was to hold on to my anger and hurt feelings, while now I am so relieved I let it go. She is a good friend and I'm glad to have her in my life.

My mind wanders to the subject of forgiveness, and I think about Four and all of the hurt and anger I have been holding for so long. Aside from an ill-advised kiss on Visiting day, more important to me was the conversation we had. It was so clear to me the emotion and shock he felt. I do believe now that Four actually thought that Mother and I would be safe with Marcus. Sadly for us all, he was wrong, just as I was wrong to trust his instincts. But there is nothing that can be done now. Nothing can turn back time and bring her back to us.

I sigh deeply. I want to forgive Four. I want to let go of the rage I feel towards him, especially since he is a Dauntless member and someone that runs in my social circle. Although he and I will not be close after initiation ends and I start my new life with Natty, he is best friends with Zeke, while Uriah is a key part of my social circle. There is bound to be some overlap.

I am trying very hard to no longer see him as Tobias, the boy who broke my heart and then left me with a monster.

I just want to see him as he is now: Four. The grumpy instructor, while also my decent and dependable roommate.

I take a moment before turning the final corner leading to the daycare entrance. Stopping to breathe in and out before proceeding to the daycare center, I allow my mind to wander. I also know that the best thing for Natty and I is for me to really forgive him… to have that peace in my life. I remember a quote Mother read to Caleb and me many years ago when father was working late at a council meeting. She would often use alone time with us to teach us phrases that would inspire us to think about life. I can still picture her smile while she sat next to the warmth of our fireplace.

 _If we really want to love we must learn how to forgive._

I blink away tears, remembering that day and how anxious I was for Mother to dismiss us so that I could escape to my room. Look at me now, aching to see her once again, having accepted it will never happen while struggling to forgive Four. Struggling to forgive a man, that although has hurt me, I know is still good and decent. I see it every time he is kind to my child. Even if Four and I are not destined to be together romantically, I want to heal. What I have accepted, I _know_ deep down that my mother never blamed him. She knew that he was just as much a victim as she became.

I push the thought away, it is now 6:31PM. I zoned out too long while thinking. Crap! I run into the center, relieved when I see that I am not the only parent that is running a little late. Diana, the center director, flags me down as I am packing up Natty's things. She is still napping in her crib, which is odd at this time of day.

"Hello, Tris. Natty may be going through a growth spurt, or maybe just teething. She was cranky and sleepy all day," Diana mentions. "She never had a fever so we didn't call you."

"Okay, thank you for letting me know. I was already planning to just eat at home and turn in early. I'll make sure she gets a good night's sleep," I promise Diana as I slowly transfer Natty from her assigned crib into my carrier. Feeling her as I do, I notice that she is a little warm, but they also say that's common when a child has just woken up. I'll need to wait a bit before I take her temperature.

"Tris, I know you just arrived to Dauntless – do you have a basic first aid kit at home?" Diana asks.

I frown, racking my brain trying to recall. Natty's always been very healthy; a first aid kit has never been needed. But I quickly remind myself that even if Four does have a first aid kit, medicine for an adult would not be okay for Natty.

Diana nods and run over to her supplies room. She returns with a child's thermometer. "I can't technically give you medicine, but this is something you should always have handy."

"You are so kind, thank you, Diana!" I say warmly. She is always looking out for Natty and me, and once mentioned that she was raised by a single mother. Her father died while out on patrol when she was very young.

We wave good bye as I leave to get Natty home. It's been a realty long day.

* * *

 **+o+ Three Hours Later +o+**

My hands shake nervously as I walk around the room holding Natty, trying to comfort her. She is alternating between screaming her head off and coughing. I've tried everything to calm her down, but now she seems to be getting worse and worse as the evening passes. She has refused to eat or drink since I picked up from daycare earlier.

It's almost ten o'clock, and I know she should be sleeping by now. Maybe she slept too much at daycare? Or maybe she is overtired? I know if I ever keep her up too late, she gets hysterical and then has a very hard time falling asleep, even when she desperately needs it.

I kiss her temple and for the first time she feels very warm to me. I have taken her temperature a couple of times this evening, desperately looking for some reason for her to be so upset. It was always within normal range.

I rush to the restroom to grab the thermometer when Natty begins coughing violently. I move her body around to look at her and immediately notice her face is getting red. Is she choking?! Maybe even on her own saliva?

Suddenly the baby vomits; I'm able to catch most of it In my hand and then turn her over so that is falls down and into the toilet. I rub her back as she alternates between screaming in terror and emptying her stomach. I'm afraid she could choke on her own spit up.

And suddenly she is calm. I wet a washcloth to wipe her face and little neck. She looks exhausted. I sit on the toilet seat while grabbing the thermometer, I am shocked to see that she suddenly has a high fever. I close my eyes and try to remember at what temperature it is considered dangerous for a baby.

I know I need to buy an infant fever reducer medicine. I take her to my bed in order to change her into warmer clothes, she is going to have to come with me. I remember all of my friends are probably wasted by now and in party mode. I also know that Monica is a babysitting for another family every night this week. Hannah babysat Natty this past weekend, but I don't have her home number and she lives on the other side of the compound. I'm not even sure I could find her apartment again if I tried.

As I tried to lay down with her earlier, my bed is still unmade, my blanket tossed on the floor and the sheets undone. Suddenly she begins vomiting _again._ I rush to turn her over, not caring that her vomit is landing all over my pillow and sheets. I am shocked at how much comes out so quickly.

I've never been so scared in my life. She is so small and she can't tell me what is wrong. She can't tell me what she is feeling. She's completely helpless and dependent on _me_.

Her screams start again, and this time I begin to cry. My poor baby is so sick and I feel as though my heart is being ripped out of my chest. What if this is serious? What if I lose her? I know that would be the final straw for me. Losing my baby is something that I could not bear.

"Tris?!" Four's voice suddenly behind me, startling me. During my hysteria and Natty's screams I didn't even hear him enter the apartment.

"Four!" I sob, my face already wet with tears. I've never been so happy to see him in my entire life. "The baby, she is so sick! I'm so scared, I don't know-"

"I'm here, tell me what's going on," he says calmly while stepping forward to gauge the situation, carefully looking over the baby and then the mess all over my bed. His eyes widening as he places his palm on her forehead. "Run to the bathroom and bring back a moist towel. We are going to quickly wipe her off, and then go to the infirmary."

My lip trembles, he is worried as well. I see it in his eyes.

"She has clean clothes in the drawer-" I call while rushing to get the towel.

"No, it doesn't matter what she is wearing. We need to go quickly. Let's just wipe her off," he assures me. "We'll just wrap her in the clean blanket and go."

I run back and watch as Tobias quickly wipes her down, he grabs my clean blanket off the ground and folds it in half.

"I can carry her, just hand her to me and I'll wrap her tightly in the blanket. If that's okay with you?" he asks.

I nod to agree.

I swiftly place her in the open blanket he's holding and I wrap it tightly around her while Four holds her. She is still crying but seems to feel a little better after just throwing up. I study her closely, feeling her forehead once more.

Suddenly Four's hand is cupping my face, the other holding my child. "It's going to be okay, Tris. I'm with you in this," he finishes.

I nod gratefully, and in that moment I know there is no one else I would rather have helping Natty and me.

* * *

Two hours later we return to the apartment, Natty sleeping soundly on Four's chest as I unlock the door and usher them in ahead of me. I follow as Four quietly walks over to the crib. Per the doctor's instructions he lays her tummy down, in case she throws up again while sleeping. My heart skips when Four leans down to kiss her cheek while she sleeps. I smile at him and then lean down to kiss her as well. Standing by my side as he watches her intently. I can see that he is still worried.

I slip my hand in his, our fingers automatically intertwining. He squeezes my hand and then pulls me away from the bed so we can talk.

Smiling sadly at each other, I'm finally able to sigh with relief. The stress I've felt over the last few hours has aged me, almost. I'm exhausted, yet I can't imagine sleeping because my emotions are so heightened.

"Hey, Natty's okay. You can breathe now," Four says, pulling me into his arms. Before he even has me against him I'm wrapping my arms around his waist and hugging him tightly to me.

Natty caught a bad virus, very common for young children. Although it presents as a serious issue, if we keep an eye on it and follow the doctor's instructions she will be fine.

"l'll strip your sheets and get the wash started. Why don't you go over the instructions for tonight, and would you mind reading them out loud? I want to make sure we don't miss anything," Tobias says while he begins pulling the sheets Natty vomited on off my mattress.

My mouth falls open, he's already done so much. It didn't even occur to me that he'd help me this evening with everything that needs to be done. The doctor advised us that Natty needs to be woken up every four hours to be given her medicine and then cool baths as needed.

The doctors want to see her again at 10 AM, as she will most likely get another IV. She was given an IV to push fluids because she was getting dehydrated. They warned us not to feed her unless she acts thirsty, and then only a small amount of pediatric juice that will supply nutrients and electrolytes. They don't want her to throw up again if she drinks too much.

"Four, are you sure? What about training tomorrow morning?" I say meekly.

He turns to look at me, he looks as tired as I feel. "I thought about it on the walk home. There is no way I'm leaving tonight on your shoulders alone. We can do it together," he insists. "Now that the baby is settled, I am going to run out and handle things. I'll go to Max and get permission ahead of time excusing us both from training tomorrow. We are going to be up most of the night and there is no way Natty can go to daycare tomorrow."

I nod with relief.

"And then I'll need to wake Lauren up, I'm sure she will cover for me. She can run my initiates through conditioning alongside her Dauntless born," Four states as he sets the washing machine to start on my dirty sheets.

I nod. "Thank you, Four. For everything. I… I'm not sure what would have happened if you didn't come home when you did." My voice trails off. I swallow the lump that has formed in my throat.

Four is now standing in front of me. He seems nervous now, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Tris, I want to talk to you about something… That fight we had on your birthday, I just want to make sure you know that I think you are an amazing mother. Natty is very lucky to have you," he pauses, looking sheepish. "I regret snapping at you so harshly. I'm not a perfect person and my delivery is definitely an area in my life that can use some work. I'm sorry if I hurt you."

Hearing him say the words lifts the pressure I didn't even realize I had been carrying on my shoulders. I often doubt myself; it's hard to swallow the realization that this little girl should have had Mother to call momma. Instead she had to settle for _me._

Before I can catch myself tears fill my eyes spilling down my cheeks, my lip trembles as I look away to compose myself.

"Hey! Natty's going to be okay, Tris. Don't be scared. I'll rush back to help," he assures me, looking concerned for me. "You aren't alone, Tris. Not now."

Four assumes I'm worried for the baby, not realizing how much his praise and apology meant to me.

* * *

 **** Tobias POV ****

I just spent five minutes knocking on Lauren's apartment door, trying to wake her up. She finally opened it.

"Hi, Lauren. Sorry to wake you, I know the initiates are training early tomorrow morning," I say hurriedly. She is wearing a fitted tank top that barely covers her firm stomach, and her usual silk panties. I quickly stop my eyes from roaming down after realizing how skimpily dressed she is.

I just left Max's after getting his approval to allow Tris and me to miss training tomorrow. He made it very clear that she will need to make up the training day on an initiate rest day as soon as the baby is well. He also made it clear that it would be my responsibility to oversee her make up day. Now I just need to let Lauren know that Max is expecting her to take on my initiates.

As Lauren is a friend, I would much rather she do it for me as a favor versus feeling obligated because I went to Max first.

"Four. Well, this is a surprise. I don't mind being woken up... by you," Lauren smiles flirtatiously.

"I need your help, it's rather important," I say firmly. I am not interested in our flirtatious banter right now.

"Sounds serious, go ahead," Lauren encourages me, I now have her full attention.

"My roommate and initiate, Tris, her baby is ill. We just were able to leave the infirmary-" I say before Lauren cuts me off.

"Is the baby okay?!" Lauren asks, her face instantly showing concern.

I nod. "The baby is home now, but with a strict set of instructions for her overnight care. The bottom line is, I need a huge a favor, Lauren. Would you handle training the transfer initiates along with your group tomorrow?" I pause. "Please?"

Lauren immediately nods in agreement. "Of course, that's no issue. Just more people for me to yell at as they run," she says with a smile.

I nod with thanks about to say goodbye so I can rush back to the apartment when Lauren reaches to grab my hand.

"Four, you're welcome to sleep here...again," she says seriously, her eyes conveying a message of promise for more than just 'sleep'.

My back stiffens at her implication.

"No, I want to help with the baby tonight. It's too much for one person to do alone," I state matter-of-factly.

Lauren nods with understanding, her smile letting me know that everything is still okay between us.

"Lauren, nothing has changed for me. We've talked about this," I sigh. "Some might even say we've talked the subject to death."

She rolls her eyes while nodding. "You know, I really wanted to have sex with you. We didn't have to pretend like that. It could have been real," she pouts. "Faking it was your choice, Four. I wanted to be with you."

A frown crosses my face, remembering my poor choice to not only stay on Lauren's couch all those nights, but also to make everyone believe our relationship had become sexual. In reality, it was nothing like that. I have never had a romantic relationship with Lauren; we've never even kissed.

"Lauren, I am not looking to hook up with anyone right now. I just needed people off my back about not having sex recently," I explain, while lying through my teeth. It's never bothered me what people think. I dislike nosy people, they irritate me. I know I did this because of Tris.

"I'd appreciate it you never told anyone about our lie, I just…" I rub the back of my neck with my hand nervously. "I don't even know why."

Lauren shrugs, I know she doesn't really care. The main reason we called it off when we did is because she was horny and wanted to hook up with another friend, but didn't want it to look like she was stepping out on me.

"Four, forget about it. I'll never tell anyone; it's no longer something that anyone thinks about anyways. Although not exclusively, I'm dating Charlie now," she reminds me.

Smiling at her, I thank her again and quickly excuse myself. I need to get back.

I cringe as I walk home, remembering the day I choose to lie to everyone: that dinner where I realized that there was something between Tris and Uriah. I was so jealous and bitter. I couldn't sleep at home. I lied about Lauren and I having sex because was angry and embarrassed. I did this because I'm ashamed to be a twenty year old virgin, while Tris has had a child with some amazing guy who is now dead, and was just starting a romance with the brother of my best friend.

What a waste of energy, Tris didn't care in the least about me and Lauren. She is so over me. And now that I know about what my father did to her, ruining her life, how could I blame her?

My heart lurches when I think about Natalie and how my father is truly a monster. Tris's mother is dead.

Something I had believed about my own mother for many years.

It was the shock of my life when Evelyn revealed herself to me. In her desperation to escape Marcus, she faked her death and left. She left, while leaving me behind.

My mother invited me to leave Dauntless and join her in leading Factionless, assuring me that her people would rise and end the five factions. Some of my mother's points rang true to me. In many ways the concept of being one way, to fit into one faction, does not sit well with me. I don't believe that being just one thing is being the best person that one can be.

Evelyn confessed that she had made a mistake in abandoning me and wanted to rebuild our relationship.

I have not heard from her since I sent her the note refusing her offer. I never even considered it, not for one moment. Deep down, even then, I knew that if there was even a chance that Tris would choose Dauntless…that is where I needed to be.

Even with my hesitation over the factions, it was never enough to completely give up on Tris. I quickly push thoughts of Evelyn away. She's not a part of my life in any way.

My only concern is Natty right now and helping Tris to care for her.

I've realized that all of my feelings for Tris that I have been trying to push away are still there. As much as I wanted to hate her, I never could. How could I hate the only girl that I have ever loved? How could I hate the girl who gave me her heart, only for me to treat her so cruelly when I said goodbye?

I know this is going to be a long and stressful night with Natty. Breaking into a jog, I feel a need to rush back to make sure that both Natty and Tris are okay.

* * *

 **** Tris POV ****

As Natty sleeps and I continue to disinfect the apartment, I keep glancing at the front door in hopes that he will return soon. I scold myself for being ridiculous, I try to ignore my jealous feelings towards Lauren. I know that he is probably with Lauren by now, he needs to ask her to handle his training responsibilities tomorrow and he said he would go to her apartment after he spoke with Max.

I have no right to be angry about Four and Lauren having been together, it had nothing to do with me. It's not like Four and I were together, or even civil during that time. Still, every time he is with her now, it eats at me. I'm so jealous, no matter how much I try to push the feelings away.

My heart flutters; he has really pulled through for me tonight. If I am honest with myself, Four has been really good with Natty for a while. I have no doubts that he cares deeply for the baby. My heart melts every time I see proof of it.

I close my eyes replaying everything Four did tonight. He took the lead at the infirmary; when they minimized our concerns and wanted us to just sit and wait, Four jumped into action, respectfully but forcefully demanding that a doctor see the baby immediately.

" _This is a serious matter, our baby needs medical attention_ now _. I want to speak to a supervisor, immediately!" Four growled, his tone sending shivers down my spine._

 _Our baby_. Four called Natty _our_ baby. And it made my heart skip a beat. He pushed and pushed until Natty got the help she needed. He was strong when I needed him the most.

I can't deny what I have been fighting for so long. It's not even about the love I used to feel for him.

I am falling in love with Four, as he is now. And it scares me, because I know what it feels like to be hurt by him.

I jump, startled when he rushes through the front door. Our eyes meet. He looks so concerned but then relaxes when he sees that I am calm and Natty is still sleeping. We exchange a small smile.

"Tris, how is Natty? Has she been sleeping the whole time I was gone?" Four asks me while checking on her himself and then walking over to me.

"She has, everything is okay." I pause, watching him step closer to me. "I'm so glad you're back, Four."

"Me too, Tris," he says while tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

We sit down to have a cup of tea, Four fills me in on the arrangements he made with Max and Lauren. Four gets out the instructions from the doctor and we set up Natty's medicine and set alarms.

"Four, I want to thank you for handling things so well at the infirmary." I pause to compose myself. "You got Natty the care she needed."

The tips of Four's ears turn red and he nods, he seems embarrassed to hear my praise.

"And I have to admit, after we were seen and Natty was cleared of anything serious… I really enjoyed being at the infirmary. Are the doctors Dauntless trained?" I ask curiously and then a yawn takes over, and Four's eyes widen. I am just now realizing how exhausted I am.

"I'm not sure about the doctors' training and crap! I need to get your sheets in the dryer, it will take at least an hour to dry," Four mumbles as he runs to take care of the laundry.

I smile at him, he is still so sweet. I see it in the moments he lets his guard down, when he drops the façade of cold instructor.

Returning, he sighs, sitting back down at the barstool that is next to mine. "Sorry, I should have moved them over earlier," he mumbles.

"Thank you, Four. For everything you have done for us." I pause to compose myself. "It means so much to me, what I want to say is… You mean so much to me."

Our eyes lock, Four seems to be studying me so intently.

"Tris, I have to tell you that-"

We both are startled when Natty screams from her crib. I know my baby's cries, this one is pure terror. I reach her first and scoop her in my arms, her face is red and she screams, seeming as though she is in agony.

"Four?!" I cry, panicked.

"Remember what Dr. Paul said about Natty, she will have an upset stomach and as a baby the feeling of nausea will scare her. But it is not as bad as it seems," Four says calmly while rubbing my back.

Suddenly Natty projectile vomits – all over me. My shirt, my hair, even down my cleavage. We rush her into the bathroom as she continues. It gets all over me. I'm sure I look horrified and Four's mouth is hanging open.

"Sit," Four instructs me as he guides me to sit on the closed toilet seat. He turns on the shower and brings over a plastic bag for the soiled clothes.

Natty vomits once more and then she appears to soothe herself.

"That must have given her some relief, she just needed to get it out," Four whispers.

I nod, starting to feel gross now that I'm completed covered in baby vomit. "She has calmed down, but we need to clean up. Do you mind checking the water temperature? Cool water will help with her fever," I ask him.

After checking the water temperature Four and I stare at each other while standing close together in the bathroom. I need to get undressed and get in.

Clearing his throat, "Tris, I'll take Natty and bring her to you after you are done cleaning yourself off. Please throw your clothing in the plastic bag, I'll start the next load of laundry."

I watch as Four walks out of the bathroom with Natty, my heart beating out of my chest. I quickly shower and then call for Natty for when I am ready.

"You decent?" Four asks before entering the bathroom with the baby.

"Well, I'm in the shower…but just pass me the baby without looking," I instruct him.

I hear Four chuckle, as he walks in. Natty is naked already as his hands reach into the shower, past the curtain, he assures me his eyes are closed.

"I've got her," I tell Four. True to his word, his eyes are tightly closed.

She is a little slippery, I've never been skilled at bathing the baby while standing in the shower. "Four, will you stay in the bathroom? In case I need you to grab her?"

"Of course, let me know how I can help," Four says. "I also laid out her clothes and diaper. She's due for her medicine too. I've got it all ready for her."

After Natty is clean and wet I realize how slippery she really is. I'm scared Four may drop her if he does his eyes-closed-grab thing. I bite my lip nervously.

"Four, she's ready for you, but… Well…" I say uneasily. "She's really slippery, I'm scared I'll drop her while handing her to you."

I hear him clear his throat, sounding nervous as well.

"Tris, I promise not to look at you but we should open the curtain so I can grab the baby while seeing what I'm doing," he says nervously.

I hold Natty to my chest as Four slowly opens the curtain, our eyes meeting. I feel my cheeks get red.

Four nods at me, his eyes never roaming down. I kiss Natty's head before I lean towards him so he can grab her. I try to ignore the way my stomach jumps at being so close to him while naked.

When our eyes meet, all I think about is how much I _want_ him and also how exposed I am.

* * *

 **** Tobias POV ****

I wipe my palm on my pants before opening the shower curtain. I remind myself to only look in Tris's eyes.

 _Grab the baby and go._

 _Grab the baby and go._

 _Grab the baby and go._

 _Holy shit! Tris looks so good._

Tris blushes, I nod to let her know I'm ready when she is. I watch as she kisses Natty's head and then leans towards me so that I can grab the baby. Looking down at the baby so I can grab her I can't help but see Tris' beautiful breasts, I quickly turn my attention back to Natty so I can grab her.

Tris frowns, I can see she is upset as I pull Natty to my chest and wrap a towel around her. I'm about to step out of the bathroom when the look on Tris's face burns into me.

Making sure Natty is warm and wrapped tightly I turn my attention to Tris who now has the curtain positioned in a way that covers her body, "Hey, um…I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable. I can see you are upset."

"It's not you, it's me. I'm just embarrassed…I just, I guess I just have the same insecurities I had the last time you saw my boobs!" Tris ends with a self-deprecating joke. I hear the sadness in her voice.

"As I told you that night, your breasts are amazing and perfect. You have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about," I say firmly.

"Thank you, um… You better take Natty, I'll be out soon," Tris says, she gives me a smile.

My heart is beating out of my chest, I try to forget about how amazing her tits looked. The memory of kissing and touching her breasts is one that I have fantasized about many times over the years. Any sensual thoughts have always been about her, only her.

I push those thoughts aside and concentrate on Natty. She is completely exhausted from getting sick. She takes her medicine easily and I'm so relieved that she doesn't throw it up. I'm almost done dressing her when Tris steps out of the bathroom wrapped only in a towel.

Any awkwardness forgotten as Tris rushes over to see how her baby is doing. Tris kisses Natty on the cheek while I hold the baby in my arms.

"I've got her, if I walk her around I can tell she is about to zonk out. Get dressed, I'll put her to sleep," I offer. "I'll make sure the alarm is set for her next medicine time."

I'm surprised when Tris reaches up to kiss my cheek, "Four, thank you for everything. It means so much to me," she whispers.

I nod, watching as Tris walks past me to grab a shirt and panties out of her dresser. She walks back into the bathroom to change there.

I gulp quickly, admiring how beautiful she is.

Natty is sleeping soundly when I place her tummy down in her crib. I stand quietly next the the crib watching the baby closely. I love her so much, I can't imagine if something ever happened to her.

I love this baby.

When did this happen? I don't even know the answer. I just know that it's true.

I lose track of time as I stand there, watching the baby sleep peacefully. Suddenly I feel Tris's arms circle around my waist as she hugs me. My arms automatically hug her back.

I lean down and kiss Tris on the forehead before pulling her away from the crib.

Now that the baby is not in my arms I take a moment to appreciate how fucking hot Tris looks. She is wearing an oversized shirt and I can only guess panties underneath. I get aroused just thinking about how beautiful she is, and what it feels like to hold her close to me.

I run my hands up and down the sides of her arms while leading her to my bed.

"Your sheets won't be dry for a while and then then we'd need to make your bed. Why don't you just lie down with me?" I ask huskily, trying to control my voice to stay calm.

Tris turns around in my arms to face me, her hands now resting on my chest as she nods. "Thank you, Four," she whispers. She's staring at my lips again.

I can't take it anymore. I lean down and capture her lips with my mouth, kissing her hungrily and forcefully. There is no mistake this time; I want to kiss her. I _need_ to kiss her.

Tris moves her arms around my neck, standing on her tiptoes to press herself closer to me. I deepen the kiss, my tongue invading her mouth as our kiss becomes frantic. My hands move down her lower back, then grabbing her ass and squeezing and pushing her tightly against me.

"Four," she whimpers while softly raking her nails through my hair. I begin kissing down her neck, seeing her tattoo of ravens on her collarbone. I gently trace my fingers along the three birds before kissing each one. Having noticed right when she first got her tattoos, I bring her right wrist to my lips and kiss the fourth raven. She trembles in my arms.

"Tris," I whisper, I'm desperate to have more of her.

We look into each other's eyes and smile while slipping our exploring hands up the other's shirt. We grin as we explore and touch each other, I cup her breast then rolling her nipples with my fingers. Tris gasps as I bend down and lick her nipple over her shirt.

I pull off my shirt, I've not shown my chest to anyone since I last showed it to Tris while in Abnegation. She admires my built chest, tracing her fingertips up and down my stomach.

Suddenly her fingertips trace the start of my tattoo that is visible to her.

"Would you like to see my tattoo?" I ask. Tris nods immediately to encourage me.

I turn my back to her and hear her gasp. It's the first time I've shown anyone.

I quickly explain that having the five factions on my tattoo is important to me because I don't agree people should be one thing. I want to work on many different traits.

"Four, it's incredible," she whispers and suddenly her arms wrap around my waists and she is planting loving kisses on my back.

My dick actually twitches over how loving and kind Tris is being.

When I can't take another moment I turn around to face her, kissing her once more. Her mouth opens hungrily to kiss me with ardor.

I slowly begin to pull her shirt off, careful to make sure she is comfortable. Tris smiles at me as I do. I kiss her again while backing her towards the bed.

"You're so beautiful, Tris. Your body is amazing, you are amazing," I say while kissing her neck her shoulders.

Tris whimpers with passion. I pull the covers back and smile as we both lie down and embrace, kissing once again. I pull her close to me, letting her feel how hard I am.

"Oh, Four… You're so- I'm so- I need you," she says while pressing close to me. I lean down and begin gently kissing her tits.

When Tris arches her back I slide one hand down to gently trace the top elastic of her underwear. It's my way of asking her if this is okay. I want to pleasure her. More than I've ever wanted to do anything before.

Tris gives me a small laugh, "If I remember correctly, you owe me a belated birthday gift."

I smile, remembering we were waiting until her seventeenth birthday for me to use my hand to make her come.

"Can I give it to you now?" I ask huskily. "Better late than never."

"Yes, please." She moans. I lean down kissing between her breasts, then to her stomach slowly. My fingers hook into the side of her panties and I begin to pull them down slowly. She mewls with anticipation.

With only details I've heard from friends as a guide I move forward. Once her panties are off I move up to kiss her again, our tongues moving together in unison. My hand slips down her stomach slowly until I am touching her sweet lips. She is so wet for me, which I know is a good thing. She wants me as much as I want her.

I lay her on her back and push myself roughly in between her legs, Tris panting and pushing her core against my erection. I quickly slip my hand back in between us. She cries out loudly as I begin my slow strokes around her clit. Tris moans softly while throwing her head back. I slowly slip one finger inside of her. Tris kisses my lower lip and whimpers.

Thinking only to myself, I'm so glad Zeke has always been so candid with details of his female conquests. His complete lack of propriety is priceless to me in this moment.

I touch her gently, while experimenting with what she likes based on the noises and small movements she makes. I've never touched a woman in such an intimate way. Although nervous, I'm driven by desire.

I'm stroking inside her of her with two fingers, watching as she slowly begins to build up to her orgasm. Her breathing becomes more and more shallow. She is panting and writhing against my hand, slowly at first and then getting more and more bold.

Her kiss on my mouth becomes frantic, as she begins bucking her hips.

"Oh, oh, oh, yesssssss!" Tris cries out, I feel her clenching around my fingers and her fingertips dig into my shoulders.

Tris is completely spent as she falls back on the bed, a fine sheet of sweat along her brow. She is gasping to catch her breath. She still hasn't opened her eyes to look at me.

"Oh, Four. That was amazing, I mean...wow." Tris breathes out, looking dazed as her eyes open to meet mine.

She suddenly bites her lip and begins stroking my shaft above my pants. I close my eyes and enjoy the sensation for a moment. Coming to my senses I still her hand and pull it towards me to kiss it. "Tris, I can't… If you touch me like that, I am going to want to take _this_ all the way," I pause to kiss her shoulder. "I need to stay in control."

She nods her head, understanding we need to keep ourselves in check.

I smile at her, "Besides, I want tonight to be all about _you_."

I roll off of her, and laying on my side while facing her, still pressing my body close to her side. I lean down and begin kissing her slowly. Tris smiles against my mouth and guides my hand back to her core, then bites her lip nervously. I smile, thrilled she likes me touching her.

I continue to pleasure her, and she responds very well. When we aren't kissing, my mouth is kissing her breasts. I love feeling her come around my fingers, and I love that I'm able to make her feel so good.

After an hour of pleasuring her again and again, Tris begs me to hold her so we can both sleep. I'm also exhausted so I pull her naked body closely to me. I watch her lovingly as she dozes off, a small smile on her lips.

I kiss her forehead while she sleeps.

Suddenly guilt racks through me when I think of Uriah. I can only assume they aren't exclusive, but it still really bothers me. Zeke was just telling me at breakfast this morning that Hana is falling in love with Natty. Zeke and Shauna then joked that Uriah's love life will take all pressure off of them to give Hana a grandbaby. I just listened, not adding anything.

I don't know what to do or think. All I know is that holding a sleeping Tris in my arms feels right.

 **++o Chapter End +o++**

 **END OF PART III**


	4. Chapter 27: Uriah

_Author Note_ _: This chapter was originally written as the Mature (M) rating. It was then edited to fit the General rating for our more delicate readers. If you would like to read the T (general) version please close this story and find the T version of ch 27 in the main story._

 **Chapter 27: Uriah (M version)**

 **Date: Dauntless Initiation – Phase 3 / Baby Natty is 7 months old (Middle of August)**

 **** Four POV ****

Placing the dry laundry that I needed remove from the dryer on Tris's bed, I smile realizing it is all Natty's cute things, from dark colored baby clothing to her blankets and burp cloths. I run back to the closet where the top-bottom machines are in order to move my wet clothes load into the dryer. Closing the door and starting the dryer I turn and begin walking towards the kitchen. After washing my dinner dishes I decide to fold Natty's clothes and just leave them on her bed. It's getting late and I'm sure Tris will be tired when she gets home with the baby. It has been a grueling week of training.

Just as I finish folding, there is a hard knock at the apartment door. I remind myself that Tris no longer knocks, accepting that this is their home for now. When there is a second round of knocking I rush to see who it is.

My mouth falls open to see a very flustered Uriah as he pushes his way into the apartment. He's got Natty on his hip while carting her diaper bag as well.

"Four! Man, I'm so glad you are home. I really need your help watching Natty," he says exasperated while rushing to place Natty in her crib. I frown realizing how familiar he is, not only in my apartment, but also with Tris's child.

"Come on, Four. Don't make that sour face. Tris should be home in an hour at most. I was supposed to hang with Natty until she was done shopping with Christina," Uriah explains while he walks to my kitchen to start mixing a bottle of formula and looking at his watch. Natty has started crying in her crib, she sounds really upset.

"What's going on, Uri?" I demand as I walk to pick up the baby and soothe her.

"Crap, I'm also twenty minutes late with her bottle. You're gonna have to feed her, poor kid," Uri grimaces, looking guilty. "I had everything under control, until my mom's water pipe burst and her apartment is basically flooding. Zeke's already there but I need to swing by maintenance to borrow a sump pump."

I frown, sad to hear Hana has to deal with this crap. I can see what Uri's emergency is; of course I will help with Natty. At this point I've watched Natty a few times, and after what happened when the baby was sick…I just wonder why Tris asked Uriah over me in the first place. I've been at home all night, Natty could have been here with me. She could have been in her own home instead of being dragged around the compound.

I know it bothers me more than it should, Tris is free to do whatever she wants with her kid. Uriah expertly warms the bottle in a mug of hot water he heated up. It's pretty obvious he spends a lot of time with Tris and Natty.

 _Of course he does, they are together. Or at minimum, seeing each other._

"You and Tris seemed to become instant friends at the start of initiation. When did you become so close, on the train ride to Dauntless?" I ask casually while patting Natty on the back as she waits for her bottle.

"Choosing day? Oh, no. I was good friends with Tris way earlier, or I guess I should say _Beatrice,_ " Uriah says with a chuckle as he tests the formula temperature by squirting a dash on his arm. Satisfied, he brings me the bottle as I have a seat on my bed in order to feed her.

"Earlier?" I push for information while getting Natty set up with her burp cloth.

"Yeah, Tris came to Dauntless during last year's Visiting Day. I noticed her walking around, it was pretty obvious she was searching for someone and not finding them. She stuck out like a sore thumb in her Abnegation clothing," Uriah smiles, obviously remembering his first glimpse of her. My heart races, I had no idea Tris came to find me. "She was looking for a transfer that was a friend of hers. I just remember it was a guy's name and no one that I'd ever heard of."

I quickly do the math between Natty's age and last year's visiting day. Tris was probably two months along by then. I'm stunned learning this, immediately sick to my stomach. Tris came to Dauntless? Did Natalie send her? Did they want me to help? Had I known then what Marcus was doing, I would have done anything to help.

"Four? You alright?" Uriah looks at me quizzically. I had zoned out and didn't hear him.

"Sorry, what?" I mumble.

"It's nothing, I was just telling you that Tris and I ended up spending the day together," Uriah looks happy, remembering. "We really hit it off. I knew that day that she was destined for Dauntless."

Controlling my facial expression I keep my Four-mask on and just nod. I'm not interested in hearing Uri reminisce about how he and Tris became so close. Nor do I want him to see how much it affects me.

"Don't you need to go? How will Tris know you brought the baby home?" I ask him.

"Tris will head over to Hana's to get Natty, we had agreed to meet there. So I'll tell her the baby is with you and why," Uriah says while walking over to touch Natty's cheek as a goodbye. "Thanks again, Four. I appreciate it!"

"Of course, let me know if Hana needs any help later with her apartment. Once Tris is back I can head over," I offer.

"Thanks, man. But we are fine. Zeke and Shauna are already there helping. Okay, see you later!" Uriah waves as he quietly shuts the apartment door behind him leaving me with the baby.

* * *

"That's a good girl, Natty! Wait 'til I tell your mommy how much you love bananas," I laugh as I offer her another small spoon of baby food. "Although you have made quite the mess, there is more in your hair than in your mouth."

Natty laughs and opens her mouth wide. She is hungry tonight. Last night Tris mentioned that today is day three of testing bananas for the baby. The jar of baby food was in the fridge, it's late, so I decided to feed her.

I used to believe that kids were something I never wanted. Then when Tris and I were together while in Abnegation, we discussed having a family. I sigh remembering how Marcus manipulated me. I was sure that I _needed_ to be alone in life, with no one to love, and, more importantly, no one to hurt.

I wipe Natty's chin with her burp cloth. She rewards me with a huge grin. I know now, with the help of this little person, that I would never hurt her, also realizing with certainty that I would never hurt any child. Ever.

Thinking about all of the fears that led me to push Tris away... I feel a huge weight lifted. I no longer doubt myself, I'm not a monster like Marcus. I owe Tris an explanation. Even if it is too late for us, even if she and I are not meant to be together, she deserves the truth. I need to be honest with her about what happened between Marcus and me on my Choosing Day. Why I not only dumped her, but in the way that I did. I know I owe her an explanation and more importantly an apology.

It won't be the first time in my life I have owed someone a serious apology.

 _ **++o+ Flashback to Four's Initiation +o++**_

 _Fuck, what am I doing here? I am listening to these people blather on and on about their rules and all the hoops we need to jump through in order to be able to "make it" at Dauntless. I don't care about this. I don't care about ANYTHING anymore._

 _I know I did the right thing, but now I hate myself. I literally feel like the most vile person on earth. The look on Beatrice's face as I lied to her, I humiliated her and I was cruel. It doesn't matter that I only did it for her, it's been weeks and I still feel sick about it._

 _I think back to my Choosing Day and the initiate from Candor that fell off the raised tracks as he was jumping to board the train. The sick thud as he first hit the platform before falling to the ground. In that moment I realized I wouldn't have even cared if it had been me._

 _I have nothing and no one to live for. I know I'm always going to be alone, I need to get used to it._

" _Four, are you listening?" Amar says firmly snapping me out of my thoughts._

 _Nodding, I look around to see the cold, scowling faces of the other initiates. I have not had a problem alienating myself from others. Nor do I care. I am not here to make friends, I just want to get through initiation and then pick a job that will offer me some kind of solitude._

 _What I do care about, is being able to pick that job. The higher ranked we are, the better our chances of picking our path here._

 _So I make it a point to be the best. I excel at everything, and I don't care who I have to step on to make it happen. I meet Eric's glare, thinking about how this asshole hates me. He also aspires to finish as the top initiate. The difference is, he seems to enjoy being cruel and stepping on others to do it. I just do it out of necessity._

 _Amar, our initiation instructor, explains that today's fight will count towards our rankings. My ears perk up, needing to hear this._

" _We are trying something new today!" Amar yells for our attention. "Today's fight is about skill. This is not just a win or lose today. We will be scoring points for every hit, kick, and block. Which means, you can lose your match and still earn more points than someone who won another fight after one hit."_

 _I quickly calculate the meaning of this, I'm surprised they are setting us up to score this way. I see the smirk on Eric's face, he is chomping at the bit for his chance. Instead of a quick and painless win, in order to get maximum points the fight will need to be drawn out and painful._

 _When Amar reveals the board with match-ups, I see that Eric will be the second to last fight and he has been paired against a Dauntless born man. My fight is last and I have been paired against another Dauntless born, named Zeke. Analyzing all the pairings I see that Eric and I will most likely be neck and neck. I can't let him win._

 _It actually made my stomach turn watching Eric methodically win his fight. I keep track of his points in my head, I am pleased that I scored it correctly. The points I counted match the judge's final score for Eric's fight._

 _I steal a glance at Amar, his face neutral, but I notice the twitch in his right eyelid with every point Eric gets. Eric has earned at least double the points of every fight scored so far. Both fighters combined._

 _I will need to earn more points when I fight Zeke; it's unfortunate, but I need to do what I need to do. As we step into the fighting ring I receive hateful glares from the Dauntless born. They can guess how this is going to go._

 _Zeke frowns at me. We are not friends, and this fight is certainly not going to change that._

" _Begin," Amar says, his voice dull._

 _ **+++o+++**_

 _I wash the blood off my hands, my knuckles cracked. Not only did I win my fight, I earned 5 more points than Eric before I finished Zeke off. Zeke had to be carried off the mat. I frowned watching him dragged to the infirmary._

 _As I walk through the cafeteria for lunch I am given icy glares, I pick an empty table to sit at. It remains empty as I eat my meal._

" _Well, that was quite the display today," Amar says as he sits at my table across from me. "Did you enjoy yourself?"_

 _I scowl and ignore his question._

" _That's not a rhetorical question, initiate," Amar pushes._

 _My back straightens, realizing I need to tread carefully, I meet his gaze. "What did you think would happen when you set us up to win by racking up as many points as possible? Hand holding?"_

 _Amar frowns, I see the regret in his eyes._

" _That is an exercise that will never happen again, at least not while I am an initiation instructor here," Amar says softly._

" _Good," I mutter before taking a drink of my water. "I did what I needed to do, but no. I didn't enjoy myself."_

 _Amar nods, looking relieved._

" _You have an extra assignment at the end of today's training, Four," Amar smiles, looking smug. "You will be having dinner with me and my partner at our apartment."_

" _Why would I want to do that?" I frown._

" _I see potential in you, I've seen your fears, and I know you can overcome all of the crap baggage you carry," Amar says with finality as he gets up to gather his lunch. "We can discuss it more at dinner."_

 _ **++o+ Flashback End +o++**_

I smile remembering dinner with Amar and George that day. It was through their support and friendship that I started to pull away from the darkness that consumed me. Their role in my life back then changed me, changed me for the better.

It's a shame that Amar's assignment has kept him away from the Dauntless compound for so many months, I could have used his friendship now more than ever.

Apologizing to Zeke was not fun, and he didn't make it easy for me. Nor _Shauna_ for that matter, she was so mad at me over that fight with Zeke. Although they weren't dating yet, I could see that her feelings for him ran deep even then.

"That's right, Natty," I kiss her cheek, careful to avoid the banana that is still in her hair from dinner. "I need to talk to your mom, about so many things. What do you think she will say?"

Natty gurgles and smiles at me, I decide to just go ahead and give her a bath. I've seen Tris do it a dozen times.

After her bath I get her dressed and make her a small bottle to cap her off before bed. Natty is so tired she falls asleep right away. Looking at the clock I notice that Uriah dropped the baby off over an hour and a half ago. I'm glad I made the call to just run through Natty's nighttime routine, it's getting really late.

* * *

No more than twenty minutes later I hear the lock of the door turning as Tris arrives. I walk to meet her at the door, I want to make sure she doesn't wake the baby.

"Oh, Four! I'm sorry it's so late. When I met Uriah at his mom's there was a huge mess. They were about to make one large trip to the dumpster so I offered to make one run with them before heading home," Tris frowns, looking stressed out. "I didn't expect it to take so long! It's so late, I have got to get the baby to bed. Poor thing!"

I place my finger to my lips in order to shush Tris. I slip my hand in hers and walk us to Natty's crib, where she is still sound asleep.

Tris smiled tenderly at her child, gently rubbing her back with her free hand. Squeezing mine, Tris pulls us away so we can talk and not wake Natty.

"Natty's been fed, she also needed a bath after the bananas, and she went right to sleep," I tell Tris. The beaming smile on her face making my heart race.

Tris takes a step closer to me, her eyes burning into mine.

"Four, thank you again. I can't tell you how much it means to me," Tris whispers.

Moving even closer I place my fingers on her chin so she can look up at me, "It was nothing, but you are welcome. I'd do anything for Natty – and you."

We both move to hug as I pull her close to me. Feeling her body in my arms, I appreciate how strong she feels, how different she is from the girl I had once loved in Abnegation. I kiss the top of her head as I rub her back. I also remember what Uriah told me about Choosing Day last year.

"Tris, can we sit? I want to talk to you about something," I ask quietly as I feel Tris nod her head in agreement.

I clear my throat before starting, "When Uriah dropped Natty off tonight, how you both met came up."

Her back instantly straightening, Tris meets my glance. "It's true, I came to find you last year. I was desperate, Four."

My throat instantly tightening, the dread settles over me. If only she had found me.

"I assume you were looking for 'Tobias', and no one knew who that was," I mumble painfully.

Tris's eyes fill with tears confirming my suspicions. I hold her hands in mine, waiting for her to speak.

"I was searching for a Tobias, and no one seemed to know you. Looking back, I wish I would have tried harder," Tris says sullenly. "I met Uriah and for a moment, I felt free of all of my worries. We had the best time, I fell in love with Dauntless that day."

I nod in understanding. I also know Uriah, his carefree, joyful nature. I frown thinking about how he must have just made her instantly comfortable. It's always been so easy like Zeke and Uriah, making friends, having fun.

 _I can't blame her for being happy with Uriah. Who wouldn't be happy with him?_

Blinking her tears away, "It was such a hard time, Mother had just discovered her…" Tris's voice falters as she shifts her eyes downward, then taking a moment to calm herself.

"Natalie had just discovered _what_?" I ask. It occurs to me that Tris most likely would have discovered her pregnancy around that time. I quickly decide not to bring the subject up.

"Um well, just you know...what a monster Marcus really is and how much _influence_ he has in Abnegation. My only point is: Mother didn't even know I had gone to find you."

"She didn't?" I ask. "Was she upset with me, for leaving?" My voice catching.

Tris's eyes fill with tears again, "Four, no. Not at all. Mother was more upset with herself for not having figured out how Marcus treated you, and above all, she was so happy you had escaped him."

I nod, blinking rapidly to keep my eyes from watering.

"My mother loved you very much. She was never angry with you," Tris mumbles. "She never knew about us, you know."

I blush while covering my eyes, realizing I am so relieved. Tris giggles at me.

"Not sure what she would have thought about you _then_ ," Tris laughs at me.

"Ugh, I don't even want to think about that," I groan, horrified at the thought.

"Four, I don't want to look backwards. Not anymore. To be honest, when I think of you know - you are _Four_ to me. Just like I am Tris. Which, by the way, isn't a bad thing," Tris says, suddenly sounding serious. "Do you understand?"

"I do and I feel the same way, _Tris._ I just want to say that I'm sorry for everything. I wish…" I stumble with my words. "I wish things could have been different."

"I'm sorry, too. Let's just move forward. Okay?" Tris asks.

I agree, we put the past behind us.

"We better get to sleep, we have an early morning of training tomorrow," I warn Tris.

"How early?" she laughs nervously.

"Let's just say that you're lucky you are not sleeping in the dorms!" I tease.

We both laugh and get ready for sleep. The rest of the transfer initiates are in for another shock tomorrow morning with an early wake up and then a grueling morning of conditioning.

* * *

A scream rips me from my deep sleep. My apartment is pitch black except for the nightlight we added to the kitchen area that lights the way to the bathroom. I can tell from the darkness around the blinds that it is still the dead of night.

I stumble out of bed, knowing it is Tris having one of her nightmares. It's been a while, and this one sounds bad.

Leaning over to shake her awake she sits up startled and gasping for air. I sit down and pull her into my arms.

"Tris, it's okay. It is just a dream. Everything's fine," I try reassure her as her arms tightly squeeze me back.

Tris looks up, touching her hand to my cheek for a moment before burying her face in my chest.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask quietly, not wanting to wake Natty. The baby stirred but has somehow managed to fall right back to sleep.

"It's the same as always, dreaming of my dead family…and all I didn't do to protect them," Tris finishes, her body shuddering in my arms.

"It's not your fault Tris, it's not right what has happened to the ones you love. But none of it was your fault," I assure her. "Come on, it's late and you are still trembling."

Deciding to be bold, as the thought of tucking a trembling Tris back into her own bed and leaving her doesn't sit well with me. "Tris, do you want to sleep in my bed? You may sleep easier if we are next to each other."

Her head snaps up, a look of surprise now visible to me as my eyes have accustomed to the darkness. I hold my breath until she nods with gratitude. I was worried my offer would offend her.

Pulling back the covers as we both slip under my sheets I feel a nervous energy at the thought of sleeping next to her. I can't help but remember all of those nights in Abnegation when we slept in each other's arms.

"Thank you, Four. For taking care of me," Tris whispers quietly as she moves to snuggle into my arms.

"Get some sleep," I murmur. "I'll fight the bad dreams off if they come to get you."

I feel Tris smile into my chest, "Oh, really. With what?" she asks teasingly, as though doubting me.

"My bare hands, obviously," I assure her, kissing her forehead and giving her a squeeze.

Tris shifts in my arms to sit up and look at my face. I smile at her, admiring how beautiful she is.

Smiling mischievously, Tris moves my arm from around her and then holding my hand in hers. My heart is racing, waiting to see what she will say or do.

Tris moves my hand to her face, kissing my palm. And then moves my hand to lay on her breast while watching for my reaction.

"Show me," she whispers while pressing over my hand, "what you can do with your hands."

I groan as the blood rushes to my groin. My need for her wins over any rational thoughts.

"Tris," I say hoarsely as I lean down to capture her mouth with mine. My hand massaging her perfect breast while caressing circles around her nipple.

Our kisses immediately frantic and full of need, as we both turn our heads to deepen them. As I teasingly pinch her nipple Tris gasps while kissing me and presses her body closer to me. I roll us over so that I have her pinned against the mattress, Tris immediately responding by wrapping her legs around my waist and pulling me even closer.

Without overthinking it, we are suddenly both pushing against each other. The friction of my hard dick against the panties she is wearing, hitting her core with each stroke, our breathing becoming more frantic and loud.

Tris slips her hands under the back of my shirt, holding me close while also caressing me. I get lost in the feeling of being so close to her, I ache to push inside of her. I know that I won't, but holy shit I want to.

I roughly pull her shirt up and take her nipple in my mouth, sucking and teasing her. Tris gasps and then pushes even harder against my dick. I later move to her other breast to make sure it gets equal love.

Tris and I both break for a moment to rip our shirts completely off. She is left in her underwear while I am only wearing my sleep pants. As soon as our shirts are off I place my hand under her knees and open her legs to me so I can resume rubbing against her. We are both panting, a fine sheen of sweat on our bodies as we get more and more worked up. It takes every bit of my self-control not to push her panties aside and slip into her. I am desperate to feel her around me, something I've never felt with any woman before. I would never do that without discussing it with her, but I also don't have the gall to ask her.

I kiss her deeply on the mouth as our bodies press together, when I feel her hand slip into my pants.

"Shit, Tris!" I hiss as her fingers wrap around my shaft and she begins stroking me. My hips bucking along with her.

"Four, take off your pants," Tris commands. "Now."

I groan, trying to control myself for the moment it takes me to shove my pants down. I don't even bother to kick them all the way off as Tris resumes stroking my cock. I groan loudly and then begin sucking on her neck, collarbone and chest.

I slip my fingers into her underwear, anxious to pleasure her. Feeling how wet she is, I move to slip my finger deep inside of her. Tris gasps with shock, so I pause for her to give me the okay to keep going.

"Please, don't stop," she sighs. "You were going to show me what you can do with your hands."

I laugh and kiss her, now laying side by side I grab her leg and throw it over my hip. We kiss softly as we both resume pleasuring the other.

I slide two fingers in and out while my thumb gently traces circles around her bud of nerves. Tris moans and gasps as I feel her tighten around me. As she climaxes her hand no longer stroking me, as she cries out loudly. I kiss her to swallow her cries.

"That was so good, I want to make you come," she whispers in my ear as her hand goes back to hold me.

I groan, encouraging her. It's all she needs to resume her ministrations on my sex. Tris pushes me to lay on my back as she sits up and kisses my neck and chest while pumping me. I gasp when her hands move down to caress my balls. This girl is going to kill me.

I feel the tightness, "Tris, I'm so close. You might want to stop."

"Why would I stop?" she demands. "I want you to come."

My hips begin jerking frantically. "Tris, just keep going, baby. Don't stop," I moan.

As my body shudders I place my hand over hers to that I can push my shaft upwards and my seed squirts on my own stomach.

"Oh, fuck," I grunt as she continues to slowly stroke me, well after I have released.

When we are done I lean over and kiss her. "I'm going to wash off and bring you a wet rag for your hand. I'll be right back." Part of me embarrassed, as I realize my sleep pants are still at my ankles. Tris giggles as I kick them off with my feet, my hands also covered in my semen.

After we clean up, and get redressed, I pull her into my arms and kiss her forehead. She snuggles close and falls almost immediately asleep.

It's not as easy for me as the thoughts run through my mind. I can't deny how I feel. I am madly in love with Tris. I love her too much to just step aside for Uriah. I kiss her forehead as she stirs in my arms. I know I need to suck it up and talk to her about what she wants. I need to know where I stand, as well as I need to know what exactly is going on with her and Uriah.

I don't want to assume anything, but part of me wonders how serious they can really be if she is doing this with me? I have to know where we both stand in her life. I can't imagine she would be doing these things with me, if she was that serious about him. Another big question: has she forgiven me for Marcus? For leaving? Can she _ever_ forgive me? We just need to talk, and I need to face my fears and ask her.

Sighing, I then worry about Zeke and Shauna. What will they think if it comes down to both me and Uriah competing for Tris's heart? I hate to imagine it, but I also accept that I may lose their friendship if Uriah ends up getting hurt over this. I love my friends, but I will not put them ahead of what I feel for Tris. I won't put them ahead of what I can have with Tris, and with Natty.

A family. I love them both so much.

Initiation is almost over, I need to time all of this correctly. I kiss Tris firmly, desperately even. She stirs in my arms before waking.

"Sorry," I whisper. "I didn't mean to wake you. I just had this incredible urge to kiss you."

"Hmmm," Tris hums. "I'm not complaining."

And suddenly she is wide awake and pulling me on top of her, her hands slipping to the waist of my sleep pants and pushing them down again.

I warn her that conditioning is going to be brutal tomorrow morning. Tris responds by stroking my dick and kissing me.

We hardly get any sleep that night.


	5. Chapter 28: Rankings and Decisions

_Author Note_ _: This chapter was originally written as the Mature (M) rating. It was then edited to fit the General rating for our more delicate readers. If you would like to read the T (general) version please close this story and find the T version of ch 28 in the main story._

* * *

 _ **Chapter 28: Rankings and Decisions - M version**_

 _ **Date: Initiation Day / Baby Natty is 7 months old (August 15)**_

 _ ******_ _ **Four POV****_

I make my way through the Pit carrying a case of beer, dodging small crowds of Dauntless. Most people have flasks or bottles in their hands; the Dauntless take advantage of just about any excuse to party, and the day of the Fear Landscapes, the final test of initiation each year, is no exception.

The fear landscapes went well, especially for Tris. The Dauntless record for fewest fears was eight before I shattered it two years ago with my four fears. Tris did not beat my record, but with only six fears, she came close, and she moved through them quickly. She always does. Only the leaders get to watch the simulations, but I can only assume that they are the same six fears I have seen in her simulations. I watched the leaders scoring her carefully as they observed Tris in her landscape, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. I am confident there was nothing unusual in her final simulations. I have no doubt that Tris will place first when the final rankings are revealed tomorrow morning.

 _Tris._ I was so nervous watching her through the window of the fear landscape room, even though I had no reason to be. She has been exceptional throughout initiation and there was no reason to doubt that she would be exceptional in her final test as well. But I'm sure it is always difficult to watch someone you love face their fears, and always nerve wracking to know that they are facing the culmination of months of hard work.

There is no denying now that I am madly in love with Tris Prior. Whatever happened during the two years we were apart doesn't matter any more, I'm done letting my jealousy get in the way. I am choosing to let that go. I love Natty with all my heart, and I need her in my life as much as I need Tris. I won't step aside for Uriah, but I need to at least _try_ to do this right. And that is why I am searching the Pit for the Pedrad brothers.

As I near the Chasm I finally see the people I was looking for. Zeke has an arm slung around Shauna's shoulders. Marlene leans against the Chasm railing next to Uriah, who takes a drink from a silver flask before passing it to Lynn. I can hear their laughter over the roar of the river below. The initiates look as though they haven't got a care in the world. I remember that feeling after my own fear landscape two years ago and I smile at seeing them so happy. That's something you don't see a lot of during stage two, when everyone is stressed and traumatized by their fear simulations.

"Four!" Zeke yells when he sees me, though I'm only a half-dozen yards away by then and obviously coming their way.

"Congratulations on finishing your fear landscapes," I say to the initiates, nodding at them. Then I look between Zeke and Uriah. "Zeke… Uri… can I grab a beer with you guys alone? I wanted to talk to you about something."

Uriah smiles and straightens up, waving the flask away when Lynn offers it to him. She passes it to Marlene instead. "Sure, man," he says while smiling. I hope he is still smiling after I say what I need to.

Zeke pecks Shauna on the lips and drops his hand from her shoulder. "See ya, Four," Shauna calls after me as I walk away with Zeke and Uriah.

Ten minutes later, I am sitting in a worn armchair in Zeke's apartment, nervously glancing at Zeke and Uri as I sip a beer. I was thankful to find that Uriah hasn't had much to drink yet; it's probably best that he is mostly sober for this conversation. He smiles. "Thanks for the beer, Four." I nod.

"You said you wanted to talk to us about something," Zeke prompts me. I nod and lean forward, resting my forearms on my knees, and stare down at my beer bottle. I need to face this issue, whatever Uriah is to Tris. Even though I very well may not like what I hear.

I sigh and look up at my friends. I sigh and rub the back of my neck. Finally, I say, "Uriah… I wanted to talk about you and Tris."

Uriah raises his eyebrows in surprise. "Me and Tris?" he repeats.

I nod. "Yeah, um…" I clear my throat. "I… have feelings for Tris. I know you two have something going and I mean, you're my friend, I don't want to go behind your back or anything but…" Uriah catches me completely off guard when he laughs. Zeke looks surprised by his brother's reaction, too. I am not really sure what to make of it. "Okay, not the reaction I was expecting…"

"Four," Uriah says, still smiling, "Tris and I don't have 'something going on.' We're just friends. That's all we've ever been."

My shoulders relax, I'm so relieved. But, I'm also very confused. They're always flirting, always together, I saw them holding hands that time… Zeke has made a few comments about their relationship, even told me how excited Hana was that Tris and Uriah were getting serious.

I look to Zeke and he shakes his head and leans back into the couch. "Don't look at me, man, I thought they were dating, too. Uriah and I didn't get the chance to talk very often during initiation and I never asked. I just assumed, I guess..."

"Don't get me wrong… I tried," Uriah explains. "More than once, actually. But Tris has never been interested in anything more than friendship. She said she wasn't interested in dating anyone."

"But you like her," I say realizing what Uriah just implied. He's asked her out… more than once. Tris may not return his feelings, which is great news, but this could still affect my friendship with Zeke. I glance at my best friend. He looks more perplexed than anything.

"Of course I like her," Uriah replies. "It would be hard _not_ to like Tris, right? But it's not like I was ever _in love_ with her or anything. It's never going to happen, and I don't think it was ever meant to. It's good, though. I've recently realized that I like Marlene… a lot. I think she likes me, too." I smile. "Go for it, Four. I think you and Tris could be good together."

I look to Zeke and raise an eyebrow. "Zeke? Are we good?"

"Of course," Zeke answers. He shakes his head and laughs. "I really did not see any of this coming. But I'm happy for you, man. And Uri, about time! Marlene has liked you for ages." Uriah grins and his cheeks turn a little pink.

Relieved, I sit back and drink my beer. Now all I have to do is talk to Tris.

"So, Four, when are you going to tell Tris how you feel?" Uri asks, grinning. "Do you need any help?"

I have already thought this out, I have a plan. "Tonight, after dinner," I reply. "And yeah, we might need some help with Natty."

"I'm there!" he replies enthusiastically. "Natty can hang out with Marlene and me, we're supposed to hang out but I'm sure she won't mind if Natty tags along."

I know Uriah has watched Natty many times before but my instinct is to protect Natty, I still feel nervous. "Okay, thanks. But you'd better not get all caught up mooning over Marlene. Natty is your priority when she's with you. Got it?"

Uriah laughs. "Of course, Four. I haven't seen her as much this week, I miss my little sweetheart and want to spend some time with her. Don't worry, I would never put Natty in any danger." I relax and nod. "I'll meet you guys in the dining hall. You and Tris can leave her with me after dinner."

When I finish my second beer, I leave the rest of the case with Zeke and say goodbye to my friends. Shauna had showed up to Zeke's while I was still there and was enthusiastically supportive of my intentions to begin a relationship with Tris. It's a relief to know my friends are supporting me.

* * *

After dinner, Tris walks beside me, occasionally glancing at me curiously. I told her I wanted to show her something, but haven't given her any clues as to where we are going or why. When we reach the Chasm, she stops and looks up at me.

"The Chasm? Why are we here, Four?" she asks, confused.

I smile and take her hand. "You'll see," I say, and I lead her to the rock path that leads down into the Chasm. If you didn't know it was there, it would be difficult to notice; that's why no one ever comes to this place and I can always count on finding solitude here.

"Shortly after my initiation," I explain as we walk, "Zeke dated a girl whose mother worked in Chasm maintenance- and yes, that's an actual job here." She laughs. I smile as I continue. "Anyway, she showed him this spot, which he then shared with Shauna and me. Almost no one knows it's here. I think even Zeke has forgotten about it."

We are now down almost at river level, carefully stepping from rock to rock. "I can see why you didn't want to bring Natty down here," she says. "Too cold and too difficult to walk on these rocks carrying a baby." I nod; that's exactly why I didn't show her this place when she wanted somewhere to hide out on Visiting Day.

We reach my spot, a large, flat rock that sits a few yards above the water, and I sit down, dangling my legs off the side. Tris follows along and sits beside me the same way. I feel the mist on my legs from the churning water below.

I clear my throat. "This is one of the few places in this compound that I can escape the people and the noise, and can just relax and think. I spent a lot of time here after I first found it. I was…" I pause, trying to find the words to explain. "I was miserable. I hated myself for the way I treated you, for the person I thought I was. I know I hurt you, Tris, and I meant to… I thought I had to in order to _protect_ you. I am so sorry. You deserve an explanation."

Tris purses her lips and nods while watching the water rush over the rocks in the river. "Yeah, I think I do." She looks at me expectantly.

I run my hand through my hair. "Do you remember how Marcus made me go with him to deliver pamphlets to the factions that morning?" She nods. "Well, we only went to Candor. He manipulated Jack Kang into having someone deliver them to the other factions."

Tris furrows her brow. "Then where were you for so long? Candor isn't far from Abnegation, and you were gone a long time that day."

I nod. "Marcus took me into the Factionless sector. He said he wanted to 'tell me about his life.' He told me a story about his father, his own childhood. So that I could understand him and _myself,_ he said. He told me that his father was a 'hard man', strict, very _firm._ The same way he was with me. And that it was in my blood- that one day, I would end up _just like him._ Then he took me to a battered women's shelter. He made me watch through a two-way mirror as women told stories about the abuse they had suffered by their husbands. And _then_ …" I watch the water below me. I will never get this out if I have to look her in the eyes. "...then he made me watch videos. Interviews with men accused of severe domestic violence. The common theme among them was that _they_ had been abused by their own fathers."

I look up at Tris finally. She is staring at me with wide eyes. I can't tell what she's thinking. My chest aches with guilt, such a familiar feeling, at allowing myself to really remember that day, and how broken she looked as I flippantly tossed her aside and walked out of her life. "I thought I was protecting you, Tris. I thought it was the only way… I had to make you believe I didn't want you, I couldn't risk hurting you the way he hurt me… the way he hurt my mother. I decided I would never have a girlfriend or a wife or children because I was bound to hurt them one day and I couldn't live with that. Tris, I'm so sorry, I was wrong, so wrong."

"I wish you had talked to me," she says quietly. "You're not like him. I could have told you that."

"I know I'm not like him, Tris, but I wouldn't have believed you then. Not until I found out that Marcus lied." She furrows her eyebrows. "About six months after my initiation, Max volunteered my computer skills to help set up a database for Candor to track genealogy. That was when I found out that Marcus lied about it all. His father died when he was very young, and his mother never remarried. He was just manipulating me, like always. That's when I realized what a huge mistake I had made. I never should have listened to him, Tris."

I look at Tris, hoping and praying and silently pleading for her to understand, for her to forgive me. She sighs. "Thank you for telling me what happened. Well done, though. You had me believing every word of it." My stomach twists painfully. At the time, I needed her to believe it, but hearing from her lips now that she really believed that I didn't love her, that I never had… that I was only using her… brings a fresh wave of guilt.

"Tris." My voice cracks on her name. "If I could take it all back, I would, in a heartbeat. Please forgive me, Tris, I am so sorry."

Tris looks at me for a long time, and the longer she stares at me, the more certain and, honestly, panicked I feel that she will tell me that I hurt her too deeply, that she will never be able to look at me without thinking of all the ways I have hurt her.

 _Say something, Tris,_ I will her. And then she finally opens her mouth to speak and my heart pounds and I want to take it back, because surely she will crush my hopes of us ever being together again, and I don't want to hear her say the words.

"You really hurt me, Four," she says slowly. "But neither of us is perfect. However misguided it was, you were doing what you thought was best, to protect me, and I… well, I can understand that, especially now." I understand what she means; she's a mother now, and it is her job every day to protect her child. I am sure she would have done almost anything to protect her mother from Marcus, as well. "Mother told me once that there was evil in everyone, and the first step to caring for someone else is to recognize that evil in ourselves, so we can forgive them. Now that I understand what happened, what it is I need to forgive, it's a lot easier."

"So you forgive me?" I ask hopefully, but still cautiously. It feels too good to be true.

"Yes," she says. "Yes, Four, I forgive you."

I pull Tris into my arms and bury my face in her hair. "Thank you, Tris," I murmur. "Thank you. I needed to know that you could forgive me. I was a fool to ever push you away. Tris… I want to be with you. I want you, and Natty. I want a relationship with you, Tris. You're all I've ever wanted."

"Are you sure… I mean, Natty…" she trails off, looking at me nervously.

"I love Natty, Tris." I lean in and rest my forehead against hers. "Be with me, Tris. Please."

Her lips lightly brush against mine in reply, then again, more firmly this time. I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her closer and tangle my other hand in her hair. We kiss with more certainty, Tris cupping my cheek with one hand while the other rests on my chest. We kiss until we have to stop to catch our breath, and we lean our foreheads together again, our eyes closed.

"Yes," Tris breathes, and my eyes fly open to meet hers. A smile creeps onto her face. "Yes, Four. I want to be with you, too."

We kiss one more time then pull away. I stand and hold my hand out to help Tris up. "We should go get Natty before Uriah gets too distracted by Marlene," I joke. Tris laughs and smiles, and we leave the chasm hand in hand.

* * *

When I wake the next morning, Natty and Tris are still sleeping peacefully. Never before have I woken up this utterly content. In Abnegation, I always had to hurry back to my own bed for fear- no, terror- of being caught and answering to Marcus. And every time I've ended up sleeping next to Tris here in Dauntless, I have awoken to confusion and guilt: confusion about my feelings and where she and I stand, and guilt, which I now know was unfounded, about the relationship I thought she was in with Uriah.

But not today. Today I open my eyes and as soon as I look down, I see Tris. We both lie on our sides, facing one another. Her lips are slightly parted and her honey-blond hair is fanned out on the pillow in tangled waves; one of her legs is slung over mine and my arms are wrapped around her, holding her close to me. I smile hearing a little sigh from Natty's crib.

I gently remove my right arm from Tris's back and roll onto my back slowly, so I won't wake her, then slip carefully out of the bed. I stand there for a moment watching her sleep, then stop and watch Natty on my way to the bathroom. This is what I want, every day. I can't imagine a better way to wake up each morning than just like this.

It is several hours before the rankings will be announced, so I go about my usual morning routine quietly. I don't want to wake them when they have a rare chance to sleep in. After I shower and get dressed, I quickly scribble a note to Tris and leave it on my bedside table.

I am still smiling as I slip quietly out of the apartment and start down the hall. There are things I need to do before I meet Tris at the rankings and job choosing. I know Tris will be ranked first, and so she will have the first pick at job choosing. I am not sure what her career interests are; we haven't ever discussed that, though I know I will support her in whatever she chooses, from leadership down to a job like tattoo artist. But there is one thing I am sure of: I want to wake up with Tris in my arms and Natty asleep nearby every single day. I can't stand the idea of Tris and Natty moving out. I want them to live with me, I know this with absolute certainty. I love them, both of them, so damn much.

That's why I dragged myself out of bed and away from Tris this morning. When I ask her to move in with me permanently later today, I want her to know how serious my offer is.

I smile as I enter the housing office. The woman at the desk is someone I have never met before- she appears to be in her late thirties or early forties, and I have never had reason to visit this office before as I am still living in the same apartment I was assigned after my own initiation. "Hello, how can I help you today?" she asks with a smile.

I take a deep breath. "I'm here to reserve a two bedroom apartment."

* * *

 _ **Tris POV**_

I am so nervous. In five minutes, the final rankings will be revealed and we will choose our jobs. I am pretty sure I made the required score to complete initiation, so I am mostly anxious to see whether I ranked high enough to choose the job I want. We will choose in order of our final rankings.

I have been almost subconsciously watching the entrance for Four, and I feel so much calmer when I see him walk in. I knew he wouldn't miss the final rankings, but it is still comforting to have him here. It was disappointing to wake up to a note instead of with him beside me, but, according to his note, he had some errands to run, and he promised to meet me here for job selection.

He sits at the table next to ours, next to Zeke. Stealing a sideways glance at Four I feel the sudden warmth in the pit of my stomach. Emotional connection aside, I can't deny how attracted I am to this man. Even before we had defined what was going on between us, before entering a committed relationship, the way in which my body responded to him was unlike anything I have ever experienced. The things I did with Four are things I don't even think I'd want to do with anyone else. I trusted him as a person, and I trusted him enough to be _close to him physically._ If I am honest with myself, I have always had strong urges when around him. I chuckle remembering back to his shock when I used the lotion for the first time.

"Nervous?" Uriah asks as he sits down next to me, Marlene taking the seat on his right. As soon as they are sitting he grabs her hand. I smile. I also appreciate Uri and Mar agreeing to keep my new relationship with Four on the down-low for a couple of days. Four and I agreed we didn't want to risk any accusations of favoritism.

"A little," I admit.

"Don't be," Marlene says while smiling warmly at me. "You've got to be near the top. You were out of that fear landscape so fast yesterday!"

"Yeah, I turned to talk to Will for a few seconds and you were already done!" Christina says. I detect an undertone of bitterness in her voice; she's jealous. I can't do anything about our ranks now, and I wouldn't do less than my best anyway, so I try to ignore her tone and move on.

"I'm sure you did great, Chris," I assure her. "What job are you going to pick?"

"I think I want a job like Fours, training initiates," she says. "Scaring the living daylights out of them. You know, fun stuff."

"I'm hoping for Leader-in-Training," Will adds.

"I think you'd be good at that," Marlene encourages him.

Our conversation is cut short when Max and Eric make their way to the front of the room. Eric taps the microphone and all the conversation dies out.

"The group of eighteen year olds that started this process earlier this summer have now been molded into soldiers worthy of being called Dauntless. When you all arrived two months ago, I really didn't think some of you were going to make it, but all of you have earned the required scores to pass initiation. So, congratulations to all of you." The Dauntless that have gathered to watch the ceremony clap and cheer.

"After the rankings are revealed, you will choose your professions, in the order that you are ranked. I know you've been waiting to see how you did. The rankings will appear behind me."

As soon as Eric says "me," a list of names appears behind him. At the top of the list is my name, with my picture beside it. I gasp into my hands and smile. Four grins at me from his seat at the next table over.

I read the rest of the list:

Tris

Edward

Uriah

Lynn

Marlene

Will

Peter

Christina

I smile, and hug Christina from across the table. Scanning the rest of the list, most of which are Dauntless-born who I have never spoken with, I see that Drew and Molly are ranked twelfth and thirteenth, and Al and Myra are at the bottom. They will work at the fence, but at least they made it through initiation.

Uriah hugs me. "Congratulations, first rank!"

"Congratulations to you too, Uri!"

The microphone squeals and we turn to see Eric impatiently waiting for us to quiet down. I roll my eyes; as if he wasn't in our same position feeling the same way just two years ago.

"Let's proceed with the job selections," Eric says and we all quiet down. "When I call your name, you will come forward and tell Max your job selection, then if Max approves your choice, you will announce it into the microphone. Tris."

I stand and approach the table near the big screen. I know what career I will choose. I have known since that night over a month ago when Natty was sick, that I want to be a doctor. Once I knew my baby was alright, I found everything at the infirmary fascinating. I like that I would be helping people; I think my Abnegation roots would be of benefit when taking care of those in need. My mother was always so selfless, and the thought of being a little more like her makes me smile.

I think of Caleb and his passion for knowledge, and how my mother confided to me that my father was Erudite-born. I think they would be pleased with this choice, too.

"Doctor in the Dauntless infirmary," I tell Max.

He smiles. "A good choice for our first ranked. Congratulations, Tris."

I smile back and go to the microphone. I lock eyes with Four as I announce my choice to the room. He smiles and cheers with the other Dauntless as I walk back to my friends and sit down. Edward pats my shoulder and congratulates me warmly when we pass on his way to choose his own job.

I started looking into the doctor training program soon after Natty's sick visit **,** when I returned to the infirmary with Chris for our birth control shots. I would work normal hours that would allow me to keep the baby here in daycare, at least at first, and the job would pay well enough to pay Monica to watch Natty when I did eventually have to work nights. All my training would be done here at Dauntless, which is ideal for the baby as well. My daughter's wellbeing always comes first, and I am thankful that the career I feel a passion for will work with her needs.

Edward chooses to train initiates, and I notice Four smiling. Christina stiffens next to me. Next, Four looks apprehensive when Uriah chooses to work in intelligence- the control room, where Four and Zeke work. He doesn't react much to the other jobs chosen; Lynn chooses tattoo artist. Marlene will work in the Dauntless Daycare; I smile at the thought that a trusted friend will be there looking out for Natty. Will gets his wish of leader-in-training, which makes Peter scowl; Peter chooses a career fighting for entertainment.

Christina talks to Max for longer than the others have before she announces her choice of retail and makeup artist for special events. I know she wanted to train initiates, but there must have only been one position open, and Edward already claimed it. She scowls as she sits back down at our table and side-eyes me. "Must be nice to get first pick of jobs," she sneers.

I take a deep breath and let it out before I answer. "What, did you think eighth rank should get first pick?" I say calmly. "I'm just glad Peter didn't get to choose Leadership. Congrats, by the way, Will."

Will smiles at me in thanks and either doesn't notice Christina glaring at him, or maybe he just chooses to ignore it.

"Hey, Chris!" I say brightly, taking her attention off of Will. "Why don't I come by on your first day? You can do my makeup, make me look gorgeous." I flip my hair dramatically.

"Oh my God yes!" Christina cheers, jumping up and hugging me. "I can't wait! Oh, this is going to be so much fun!" I smile as I hug her back; retail and makeup is clearly the perfect job for her.

* * *

Four and I decided to have lunch alone at the apartment instead of going to the dining hall with all our friends. Though our relationship isn't public yet, everything already feels so different between us. I hadn't realized how much tension was still present when we were together until we finally stopped pushing away our feelings for one another.

"I thought most of the initiates chose well at the job choosing ceremony today," Four says. "Edward will be a good instructor. I won't mind working with him if I train initiates again next year."

I frown, remembering how jealous, almost bitter, Christina was acting today. "That's what Christina wanted to choose," I say. "She was really disappointed when the job wasn't available."

Four groans. "Thank God Edward chose it first then. Christina would have been terrible."

I giggle. Christina may be my best friend, but I have to agree with Four that Edward will make an excellent instructor. He helped me master new moves several times during initiation. "I think she will be much happier with the job she chose anyway."

"Yeah, I think it suits her," Four agrees. "I thought most of the initiates chose well. I can see Will as a leader, for example. He is smart, self-disciplined and level-headed. I'm not thrilled with Uriah's choice, though. I'm sure he'll be good at the job, but I have to work there, too."

"You don't like Uriah?" I ask. I know at one point, he thought that Uriah and I had hooked up. I never told him otherwise, so maybe it's my fault that Four isn't looking forward to working with Uri. I didn't think he actually cared about me, at the time, so there was no reason to.

"No, no, I do like Uriah," he insists. "But you know how he is, always goofing around. I already work with Zeke, who is just as bad, but both Pedrads? God help me."

I burst out laughing. "You'd better watch your back, they're going to team up on you. The control room is going to become Pedrad prank central."

"That's exactly why I'm nervous," Tobias says with a grimace, but I see the twinkle of laughter in his eyes.

I glance at the clock. I have to be at the apartment choosing ceremony in thirty minutes. "Four, do you think all the single apartments will be studios like this one?"

"For the initiates? Usually, yeah," he answers, looking down at his plate and rubbing the back of his neck. He does that when he's nervous. I raise an eyebrow.

Four runs his fingers through his dark brown curls. "Tris, I wanted to talk to you about something," he admits. I wait patiently for him to continue. "Now that we're together… well, we've already been roommates for the last two months. I… I was hoping… well, I'd like you and Natty to live with me permanently."

My eyes dart around the apartment. I so badly want to say yes. This apartment is now so familiar to me, and we would be with Four. He has been so good to Natty, and I love him, I know I do.

But it has been so difficult already keeping the truth about Natty from him. I can't accept his invitation and live together with him, like a real family, when I can't even be honest with him about the baby… our sister.

And I am too afraid of what could happen if anyone knew that Natty wasn't really my daughter. I can't tell him.

"I know this place is small, and Natty needs her own room," Four rushes to add. "That's what I was doing this morning. I reserved a two bedroom for us, in hopes that you will say yes. Please say yes, Tris." His blue eyes are shining and he looks so hopeful. God, I don't want to disappoint him… but I know I have to. The lie that has become my life is holding me back, and even if it wasn't, I want to see that I can do this, that I can give Natty everything she deserves, all on my own.

"Four… that is such a sweet offer. You don't know how happy it makes me when I see you with Natty, and how much I love being with you. But I'm not ready. I need to be on my own for a while, to be independent. I want to get my own place for now."

Four's face falls, and the hurt he's feeling over my answer is unmistakable. I feel sick to my stomach seeing his reaction, I don't want to hurt him. But I can't permanently move in with him, I just can't. He pushes back from the table and stands up, then quickly gathers up our empty plates and takes them into the kitchen. I watch him for a moment as he washes the dishes, turned away from me facing the sink. I can see the tension in his shoulders.

I get up and go to him, leaning against his back and wrapping my arms around his waist. He stops what he's doing and I feel him sigh. I can still hear the water running from the kitchen faucet.

"The first month was rough, but lately, things have been going so well with the three of us living here together, Tris," he says in a strained voice. "And now we're together… I just really thought that things were working out well."

"They are," I admit.

He turns off the water and turns around, stepping away from me. I let my arms drop. "Obviously not as well as I thought," he mumbles bitterly as he paces across the room. "I know this is new, and fast, but we've been dancing around this for weeks, Tris. I want you, I want to be with you. I like having you and Natty here, and I thought you liked being here with me." He scrubs his hands over his face.

It's my turn to sigh, frustrated. "I told you… I do like being here with you. Don't you get it, Four? I'm in love with you! Whether I live with you or not, it doesn't change how I feel about you. I'm just not ready to officially move in together as a couple!"

Four freezes then slowly turns to look at me. I feel like his gaze is burning into me, and I don't know if it's a good thing or bad until he charges across the room and pulls me to him with his right hand pressing against the small of my back and his left in my hair and he crashes his lips against mine.

Four kisses me with urgency, seeming almost desperate, and I gasp. He takes advantage of my parted lips and thrusts his tongue into my mouth; I respond quickly and swirl my tongue with his. Slowly and hesitantly he pulls away and stares into my eyes, resting his forehead against mine..

"Say it again," he says.

"I love you, Four," I whisper.

Four closes his eyes with a content smile. "I love you too, Tris."

We kiss again, but soon I pull away and look at the clock. "We can continue this later," I smirk. "I have to be in the housing office for the apartment assignments in ten minutes."

Four's face falls again, but he quickly wipes all trace of disappointment from his face and nods. "Okay," he says. "I don't have to be there for the housing assignments. Do you want me to pick up Natty from daycare for you?"

"That would be nice," I agree. "I'll meet you here when I am done and the three of us can spend the evening together."

Four smiles. "I'd like that. I'll see you soon."

I kiss him, not letting it linger this time, before leaving for the housing office.

* * *

I stroke my sleeping baby's soft blonde hair with my fingers before leaning down and kissing her forehead. I straighten and as I spend another moment watching her little chest's gentle rise and fall, I feel Four's firm chest press against my back and his arm wrap around my waist. I lean back into him and close my eyes.

I got the keys to my new apartment this afternoon- a studio much like Four's- and have taken a look inside, but Natty and I are staying here one more night and will move things in tomorrow. I told Four that it would be easier on Natty this way, that tomorrow we can spend some time there so that she is better adjusted to the new place by bedtime. In reality, it was more for Four and for me. I'm not entirely happy about my decision to move into my own place, but I know it is for the best. And I know that Four was hurt when I turned him down, so I wanted to be sure he knew I wasn't as anxious to get away from our roommate situation as he may have thought.

Four's grip on my waist loosens and he bends to kiss Natty's cheek before he leads me away from the crib. When we reach his bed, he sits and pulls me to stand close to him, between his legs. I decide to be bold and sit on his lap, resting my head on his shoulder with my arms around his neck, and his hands find their way around my waist again.

"I'm going to miss having you and Natty here," he says softly, his nose in my hair and his lips next to my ear.

I smile. "Thank you for understanding about the apartment, Four," I say. "Besides, I'm sure we will still spend plenty of time together. I wouldn't like to be apart from you too much. I love you."

Four shifts, then his nose slides along my jaw before his soft lips brush mine. I kiss him back and let my hands glide down his arms. Our kisses quickly become deeper, full of passion and need as our hands explore each other's bodies.

Four flips us around without breaking the kiss, my back hits the mattress and he is hovering over me with his forearms on either side of my head. We pull away for air and his lips make a trail along my jaw to my ear, then down my neck, giving me a heady feeling. At the same time, he shifts his weight to his left arm so that his right hand is free to travel down my body, stopping to squeeze my left breast on its way to the hem of my shirt. Four pauses and fiddles with the fabric for a moment, giving me a chance to stop him, but I don't, and soon my shirt has been pulled over my head and thrown to the floor.

We both sit up and I pull his shirt over his head, then take in his gorgeous, toned chest and stomach, and I know he is doing the same to me. He kisses me again as he reaches behind me and fumbles for just a second before unhooking my bra; he must be really anxious for this to happen. He slides the straps down my arms and tosses it to the floor next to my shirt.

As soon as we touch again, we quickly become a tangled mess of limbs, hands and lips and tongues exploring one another desperately. Soon the small pile of clothing on the floor next to the bed has become much larger and the bare skin of our naked bodies is pressed against each other from head to toe.

"Tris," Four groans against my neck. "We need to stop. I don't think I can control myself much longer."

My heart pounds. I want to be with him, but now the opportunity is in front of me. We're not just messing around any more, we're actually together and in love.

"I don't want to stop," I tell him.

He lifts his head and looks into my eyes for a moment. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," I say confidently. He kisses me hard, sucking on my lower lip. Panting, Four breaks away from me. He leans across me to the bedside table, opens the drawer and begins rummaging through it. I realize that he's looking for a condom and put my hand on his arm to stop him. "We don't need it, I mean, if you'd rather not… I got the birth control shot a few weeks ago," I explain. Four stares at me for a moment the nods and connects his lips with mine again. His hand quickly finds its way to my thigh, and he pushes my legs wider apart and settles between them.

I suck in a breath as he runs his fingers along my wet, slippery slit. He kisses down my neck and chest, then sucks lightly on my right nipple as I feel him replace his fingers with the velvety head of his dick, running it up and down just between the folds, wetting the tip with my arousal. He trails kisses back up to my neck and murmurs, "I love you, Tris."

"I love you," I say as I pull him closer, tightening my arms around his back.

"Are you ready, Tris?" he asks. I nod. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," I promise.

Then all at once, Four thrusts deep inside me, and I am startled by the sharpness of the pinch I feel deep inside. He pauses there and groans and I hold on even tighter. I dig my nails into his back in response to the pain, he hisses in response and I try to relax my hold a little. I obviously cannot tell him that I am- or was- a virgin, and how else would I explain? I just can't let him notice my reaction.

Luckily, Four must be too focused on the way it feels to be inside me to notice. I can feel his hot breath on my neck as he begins to move inside me, in and out, slowly at first but quickly picks up speed. I am pleasantly surprised to find that the pain fades before long, and while sex doesn't seem to be everything I imagined it to be, it begins to feel good. Not amazing, but good.

Four is breathing heavily against me, his eyes are closed. I concentrate on his hand kneading my boob, the friction created as he pumps rapidly in and out of me and I feel my breathing picking up as well. A warm ache begins to grow deep in my stomach, just like it has when we have fooled around before, and I move my hips to meet his thrusts.

"God, Tris, you feel soooo good," Four moans and I hum in response as my excitement continues to build.

Four's thrusts become even quicker, but shallower. "Tris…" he grunts, "I'm gonna…" he doesn't manage to finish his sentence, but instead buries himself deep inside me. "Oh, fuck… Tris… shit!" he curses with a few more deep, hard, sporadic thrusts of his hips.

He collapses on me for a moment, totally spent, as I lay there still aroused and unfulfilled, staring at the ceiling. What do I do now?! This was not what I was expecting.

After a moment of recovery, Four pulls out and rolls off of me and pulls me to his chest. Through still heavy breathing, he says, "Tris, I'm so sorry. I've, um… been waiting to be with you for a long time. I… ugh." I look at his face and notice that his cheeks are bright red.

"Um, it's okay," I mumble. He's already embarrassed, I'm sure next time will be better.

Four's hand gently skims the skin of my breasts and stomach until it is once again at my entrance. I've already come down a little from my building excitement. Four begins to circle my clit with his thumb and slides two fingers inside me. My eyes are locked on his dark blue orbs as he stimulates my sensitive nub and pumps his fingers in and out of me, bringing me to completion with the same skill he has several other times recently. Soon, I fall apart around his fingers, lightheaded at the bliss exploding through my body. Finally I collapse against Four's chest and he pulls the blanket up over us before kissing my forehead.

After several whispered 'I love yous' and tender kisses, Four holds me tightly, my back pressed against his chest. His grip on me loosens as his breathing evens out, and I know he is asleep.

But I lay awake, staring into the dark. After everything today- Four asking me and Natty to move in with him (and my refusal), declaring our love for one another, and especially giving myself to him, I feel more guilty than ever. Even though I love him, I can't be completely honest with Four. Here he is, now helping me raise Natty- his own sister… and he doesn't know the truth. I want to tell him, I do. But Natty's safety is always my first priority, and telling _anyone_ , even Four, is a risk. There is also a part of me that is _scared_ at what his reaction will be to my deceit. Will he understand? Will he be able to forgive me?

I lay awake late into the night thinking, never coming any closer to a solution than when I started.


	6. Chapter 29: The Envy of Others

_Author Note_ _: This chapter was originally written as the Mature (M) rating. It was then edited to fit the General rating for our more delicate readers. If you would like to read the T (general) version please close this story and find the T version of ch 29 in the main story._

* * *

 **Chapter 29: The Envy of Others (M version)**

 **Date: End of August - Baby Natty is 7+ months old**

 **^^ Two Weeks Have Passed ^^**

 **** Four POV ****

"Again?!" I groan as Tris persistently kisses my neck while sliding her small hand up and down my chest.

Giggling at me, "Oh! I'm sorry. Am I asking too much of you?" Tris is full on laughing now. "I understand, if you can't keep up."

Now she's asking for it, I quickly roll us over on the bed so that I am lying on top of her. I lean down and slowly kiss her smirking lips. My tongue reaches out to caress her lower lip, quickly pulling away every time she attempts to deepen the kiss.

"Have I told you how much I love staying over?" I say while gently caressing her breast with my hand.

"Yes, but only about thirty times in the last two weeks," Tris chuckles while rubbing my back slowly. "I like hearing it, so don't stop on my account."

Two weeks have passed since the first time we made love. I still cringe when I think about the first time I had sex. It was the most incredible moment of my life, while also the most mortifying. I never imagined it would feel so fucking amazing to be with Tris, the pleasure overwhelming me completely.

I still remember how fulfilled I felt while climaxing, yet knowing that Tris was not getting the same pleasure out of our coupling dampened the moment. She was gracious of course, obviously she had a lot more experience than I did. Thankfully we have been practicing _quite a lot_ since then, and it has paid off.

Sex with Tris is amazing, for us both. We hardly left her apartment in the days following our first time. The second time we made love, we used our lunch hour, so Natty was at daycare for the day. Which is probably a good thing since Tris was so very loud.

"Oh God, Yes! Yes!" she had howled while coming the first time while I stroked in and out of her slowly. That time I was careful to pace myself and make sure she got off first. She later told me that nothing had ever felt as good, ever. I was so relieved.

Thinking about pleasing her gets me back in the game this morning. Although we need to make it to breakfast soon, and get Natty to daycare before that - - I know we have time for round three this early morning.

I move myself in between her legs so that she can feel my excitement. Tris moans and pulls her head back. Taking the invitation I begin kissing her neck while still touching and caressing her breasts, paying close attention to her nipples.

"Four, babe, please," Tris groans as she grinds her hips against me. Answering her with a grunt I slip my hand between us to pleasure her.

"I love you," I say while smiling to myself, loving how wet she is for me. We lock eyes as I slowly slip into her, her arms wrapped around me to encourage.

Our love making is soft and slow, I've learned to listen to the sounds she makes. The most important thing I have realized about having sex, every single time is different. Sometimes we want to go slow and other times we crash together as though our lives depended on every stroke.

"Ohhhh, yeah," Tris hisses as her body clenches around me and she trembles in my arms. I smile into her hairline, proud she has climaxed so quickly. I follow shortly behind her.

* * *

Walking hand and hand into breakfast I give Tris a quick kiss on the lips. Giving a small wave to our group of friends who are already seated, I pull Tris aside before reaching the table.

"Quick thing, I keep meaning to ask you," I say nervously, suddenly feeling exposed. "Would it be, I don't know, weird if I bought a crib to keep at my own apartment?"

Tris's eyebrows furrow, "Another crib?"

Breathing in and out to calm my sudden nerves, "Look, I have accepted your reason for not wanting to move in with me. I will even go as far to say that you were right." Tris smiles at me, looking relieved. Clearing my throat before I continue, "I would like to have a crib for Natty at my apartment, because I want you to know how serious I am about loving you both. I want you both to always feel welcome at my apartment."

Tris nods in agreement, as I see something in her eyes. It lasts only a second, but it was definitely a look of dread. "Yeah, of course." She says quickly, after making her face neutral.

"Hey, you can be honest with me. Did I just upset you? Am I being too pushy?" I press, while trying to keep the frowning myself.

"Four, it just surprised me. But please believe me when I tell you, that your offer and explanation means the world to me. Thank you, I love that you would like to have a crib for Natty in your apartment," she says with certainty. I choose to believe her.

We kiss once more before walking over to say hello to our friends. I notice that Lauren had walked away from the table before we arrived. I shrug it off, Lauren and I have never been romantic. I can't imagine she would have an issue with Tris and me dating.

"Morning, where is Natty?" Christina asks mid-chew.

"We decided to drop her off before coming here, they prefer to feed her breakfast with the other babies. She is big enough to sit in this table that has four high chairs built in, it's kind of cute to see," Tris laughs while explaining to our friends.

I kiss her forehead and offer to get our food while she sits. Christina immediately motions for Tris to take the empty seat next to her while telling her that she needs advice. It's the first time I notice that Will is not at the table, which is odd as he usually sits with us for meals.

And then I remember that part of leadership training is a lot of early morning and late night meals to discuss policy while dining. There is always some procedure that needs a lengthy conversation.

As I'm about to walk away a very tired looking Uriah and Marlene stroll in, the table jeers at them. It's well known that they have officially started dating, and had just recently become exclusive.

"You all are just jealous! Yeah, yeah – we are late this morning. Marlene and I had a _very busy_ night and morning. It takes a lot out of me to keep my woman _satisfied!_ " Uri exclaims proudly. Marlene blushes immediately but doesn't stop him boasting about their sex life.

I roll my eyes as I continue on to the cafeteria line to get breakfast for myself and Tris. Tris and I also had a "very busy" night and morning, but we don't feel the need to broadcast it to all of our friends. It's such a Uriah thing to do, glancing back once more at Tris I see she is also rolling her eyes.

In that moment I realize what a fool I was to think that Tris and Uriah would ever be anything more than friends. I know Uriah is a great guy, he has a great heart and is a lot of fun. But really knowing Tris, they just wouldn't be a good match. He is much better off with Marlene, as Tris obviously is with me.

* * *

As much time as I have spent in Tris's apartment in the last two weeks, I am still not fully familiar with where everything is. I open another drawer, hoping the third time will be the charm.

Ah, here we go. Found them!

Tris couldn't break away for lunch today so I swung by the infirmary to grab her apartment keys. The crib I bought is being delivered after work and Tris insisted that I just grab one of her extra mattress covers and fitted sheets to avoid buying new ones. I grab one set, I'm happy that Tris has agreed that she and baby will sleep at my place tonight.

Opening her fridge I see that the leftover from the pizza we ordered last night is there. She already told me to finish it off. I'm about to place a slice in the toaster oven when a sharp knock at the door interrupts me. I just want to eat my lunch in peace and as this is not my apartment I think about ignoring the person at the door.

After the second round of knocking I open the door.

"Oh! Four. Um, hi. Is Tris around?" Will asks nervously.

I notice that he seems really agitated, which then leads me to wonder what he wants with Tris.

"She isn't. What's going on? You seem stressed," I ask.

"Will she be back soon? I really need to talk to her," Will says. "This is awkward, but I really need her advice about Christina."

"Sorry. Tris will be at training all day and then she is sleeping at my place tonight. You are welcome to stop by…" my voice trails off as I see the look of panic on Will's face. "Will?"

"Can I talk to you? I just need advice and it can't wait," Will asks pleadingly.

For a moment I think about telling him he is better off asking a stranger than me. Especially since he mentioned that he wants to talk about Christina. I find her to be annoying, and loud. I'm probably not the best person to give him advice. But then I remember that Will has been the one dating her, so he must like her. This is about them, nothing to do with my opinion.

"I can't promise to give good advice, but I'm willing to listen," I offer. "Would you like a slice of pizza?"

"Thanks, that'd be great," he says. "Can I do anything to help out?"

"Nope, just get started. What is this about?"

"So long story short, Christina thinks I am cheating on her," he grumbles.

I frown, I have zero respect for cheaters. It is such a terrible form of _dishonesty_ and _betrayal_ \- two things that I would not be able to tolerate in a relationship.

"Well, _are_ you cheating on her?" I deadpan while handing him his plate.

"What? No! Of course not," Will snaps.

"Okay, okay," I say calmly. "I was just making sure. So why would she think that?"

"I guess I should take a step back. Christina has been really stressed. No wait, that isn't the right word. I don't really know how to explain it _._ It started during initiation, she was paranoid about everything and really worried about how our friends were stacking up in the rankings."

I nod, remembering what Christina did to Tris when it came to capture the flag.

"What does that have to do with her thinking that you are cheating?" I am not seeing the connection.

Will breathes out slowly. "I'm crazy about Christina, but if I'm honest with myself – I started to get a little annoyed by her drama. I just needed a little distance," pausing for a moment before he continues. "When my new position started I actually became really busy with training. Let's just say that she isn't taking it well."

"So, have you been honest with her about how you are feeling?" I press. I make the decision to keep my personal opinions out of the conversation.

Will starts laughing, but not a "ha, ha" laugh. More like he is so angry.

"I've been trying to reassure her that I am not cheating, I am working really hard. I can't help it that some of the ladies on my office floor are single and attractive! Christina is just not listening," Will snaps. "But this morning was the final straw!"

"I saw her at breakfast, she seemed fine," I tell him.

"Well straight from breakfast she had time to kill before her shift started, so she stormed into my offices and made a huge scene!" Will recounts in detail how Christina stormed in and accused him of cheating and then verbally lashed out at one of the more attractive assistants that happened to be handing him a binder.

"Thankfully Max and Eric hadn't arrived to the office yet," he groans. "But I am sure they will hear about it. Christina was so nasty and loud!"

I visibly cringe when Will mentions the assistant's name; I know for a fact the girl in the story is one of Eric's _lady friends_ that he is very possessive over. Not possessive enough to make a commitment to, but Eric will be livid when he hears this. Knowing the situation, this will get back to him quickly.

"Shit," I mumble. That is not good at all, especially since Will has been in his new role for less than a month.

I bite my lip, I would run as far and fast away from Christina as my legs would carry me. But I don't dare say that to Will. I remind myself that she is still one of Tris's best friends.

"I am hoping that Tris can give me some advice on how to handle this mess," Will says dejectedly, once again looking stressed. "I just don't know what to do. I really care for her, but she is making it really hard to be with her."

"I can't tell you what to do. At the end of the day you are the only person that can decide what is best for you and for Christina," I say. "I will tell Tris you stopped by, but I have a feeling she is going to tell you the same thing, Will."

"Thanks for listening, I do appreciate it," Will says as I walk him to the door.

"No problem, good luck," I finish.

Locking the door behind him I make a mental note to tell Tris what I know as soon as I see her. I'm also so relieved that things with Tris are so easy and harmonious. We are in a good place.

Picking up the sheets for Natty's crib I make my way to the front door and lock up behind me. I am glad Tris and Natty are spending the night at my place tonight.

* * *

 **^^ Three Days later ^^**

 *** Tris POV ***

"Oof!" I cry as a Dauntless woman bumps into me in the hallway. A very empty hallway, leading me to question if it was really an accident.

Locking eyes, she is no one I've ever seen before. What throws me is the scowl on her face. She turns to her friend and says something that has them both break into peals of laughter as they walk away.

 _Great, another one. How many of these girls are out there?_

It was a few days after initiation ended that Four and I went public with our relationship. Our inner circle was very happy for us, although many were completely shocked.

What I was not expecting is the heat I am feeling from many Dauntless girls because I am Four's actual _girlfriend._ I cringe remembering what the Dauntless born initiates, during our initiation, had told me about Four's romantic practices. Basically that he slept around a lot, but was very clear about having zero commitments.

It seems that the masses never had an issue when they just thought casual sex without commitments was all Four had to offer. That has changed now that Four not only has a serious girlfriend, but one that has a baby that he makes it very clear is part of the package. Four always carries Natty as we walk through the halls and has on occasion handled drop off and pickups from daycare.

Diana's eyes almost popped out of her head when I added Four as an emergency contact for Natty at daycare, granting him permanent approval to be a point of contact for the baby. I wanted to be honest with Diana about our relationship. She is not only the director of Natty's daycare but she has also been very kind to me. When I told her that Four and I had started dating she just nodded and congratulated me. Since that day she is professional with me, but any warmth is now gone. I know she liked him, but it is not as though they have ever dated.

 _Ugh._

Four doesn't see it, but Lauren, I believe, is jealous. Not that she was especially warm to me before, but now she can't even stand to be near me. I tried to bring it up the other day, I had pointed out how Lauren left the breakfast table as soon as we walked into the cafeteria. Four just laughed it off, he assured me that she couldn't care less what he does romantically. I bit my tongue, I wanted to ask him why he would think that as he was just having sex with her a couple of months ago.

I kept my comments to myself because I didn't want to hear his answer. Some things are just better to be left alone.

Glancing at my watch I realize I need to hurry up in order to make it to class on time. I am really enjoying the Dauntless Medical Training program. It is a combination of lecture and lab classes and then hours worked in the infirmary. I am earning decent money during the learning phase of my program. Once I become a doctor and am practicing, I will earn even more.

Even with my lower salary during this training phase, I can afford daycare for my work hours and extra funds to work with Monica. She has agreed to still be Natty's nanny as needed. I smile thinking about how I want to surprise Four. He has been so good to me. I didn't tell him about Monica because I want to surprise him with a romantic date someday. Things are hectic right now, but it is nice to know I have it as an option.

* * *

"Tris! Are you listening to me?" Christina practically shouts at me, her voice thick with emotion.

"Of course I am! I think the entire store is listening to you, Chris," I say. "Please lower your voice, I know you are upset but you don't need to yell at me."

Christina and I met during our lunch breaks in order to do some minimal shopping while we got caught up. She is having a lot of problems with Will, who is also my close friend. Three days ago Will stopped by my apartment wanting to talk, instead he got Four. Four told me everything that he and Will talked about; I was especially horrified to hear about the scene Chris made at his new job. His job in Leadership nonetheless.

"You are right, I'm sorry. I just don't feel like you are on my side!" Christina whines, her eyes flashing with anger.

I slowly breathe in and out before responding. "That is because I am not on _your side,_ Christina. I told you, I am not going to get in the middle of your relationship with Will, who is also my friend."

Christina just shakes her head with disappointment. "I expected more from you, Tris. I don't know what else to say."

I sigh, "Chris, I'm not trying to hurt you. Will and you are both my friends, and I'm hopeful that you two will work through this. At that point you can both remember that I never took sides. I want you two to work things out and move forward, if anything I'm on _both_ of your sides."

"Yeah, okay. That makes sense," she agrees.

"Come on, if we hurry we can still grab a quick bite before returning to work," I link my arm through hers as I lead us to the cafeteria.

"Want to split a sandwich? My treat!" I offer.

Christina nods and smiles. Her eyes widen when she sees Will approaching us.

"Christina, I've been looking for you. Could I have a minute?" Will says politely after nodding a quick hello to me.

Smiling at them both, I offer to grab the sandwich Chris and I plan to split. I tell her to come look for me when she was done. Even if just to get her half of lunch.

Paying with my points, I thank the cafeteria worker for splitting my sandwich in two and for the separate containers. It took a little longer than I expected and I realize I will not have time to sit and eat. Thankfully I will be able to eat quickly during my next class which is a lecture. Doing lab work while eating is not really an option for me.

My face falls the moment I see Christina waiting for me, she roughly motions for me to follow her before she turns and stomps out of the dining hall. I don't see Will anywhere in sight. Frowning, I do as she requested.

"Damn him! Of course he was frantically searching for me, he couldn't fucking wait to find me and tell me he wants to 'take a break'! God, what an asshole! Take a break!" Christina hisses, in a combination of rage and hurt.

I am left speechless, not quite sure what "taking a break" actually means.

"Nothing to say? Oh wait, let me guess! You are _still_ not taking sides, right?!" Christina cries, tears filling her eyes.

My throat tightens, I hate to see her hurting. "Christina, let's have dinner tonight. Just the two of us," I offer, knowing that Four will take care of Natty for me. "We can talk."

Christina lets out a hysterical peal of laughter, not sounding happy at all.

"Oh, why bother, Tris?" she spits while angrily wiping tears away. "You don't want to take sides, and I'd hate to tear you away from your perfect boyfriend. Just leave me alone."

As she quickly turns and walks off I stand in the hallway with my two sandwich containers wondering how things could get any worse.

 _Taking a break? Ugh, Will. What are you doing?_

* * *

"I'm sorry Tris, I can see this is bothering you," Four says quietly while rubbing my shoulders. "You couldn't find her, not even in the Pit?"

I sigh, "No, I looked everywhere, she was nowhere to be found. Thanks for putting to sleep Natty while I looked. I thought for sure she would be at her apartment tonight."

Wrapping his arms around me and kissing my forehead, Four leads me to our bed. "I think we should forget about Will and Christina for now. There is nothing worrying about them is going to accomplish," he finishes.

"I agree, there is always tomorrow," I say.

"I can think of a great way to distract you," Four croons before crashing his lips against mine. My heart racing as he pulls me close.

We slowly take off our clothes, Four's hands roaming freely across my body. I love this man so much, and I've never been happier than I am right now. Even after all of the pain I have been through, my heart is open to love. I know that is what both of my parents would have wanted for me.

I remember something I heard Christina and Marlene talking about earlier this week. Marlene was sharing some pretty specific details about her and Uriah's time in the bedroom. My cheeks flush, wondering if it is something I would enjoy trying.

As our kisses intensify and we hold each other, I can feel Four's hardness press against my thigh. I wrap my legs around him as he gently pushes inside of me, filling me completely. I groan as his smooth and loving strokes overcome me with pleasure.

"Four, wait," I pant. I feel him tense immediately.

"Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" he says quickly.

Kissing him slowly I push against his chest, causing him to move away. I then push further so that he is lying on his back. Kissing his neck and chest I move to straddle him. He groans in anticipation. As I am ready to keep going, I slide my hand around his shaft for three good strokes.

"Trissssss," he hisses while pumping his hips in tune with my hand.

"I want to try being on top, will you help me?" I ask quietly, waiting for his reaction.

He nods eagerly, causing me to giggle over how excited he is.

We work together to position me over his sex, with me then sliding down to take him inside of me. We both groan loudly while accommodating to this new position. I ride him slowly, enjoying the feeling of him inside of me.

Our lovemaking is slow and passionate, turns out that Four is a huge fan of having me be on top. We both come at the same time.

Gasping for air as we snuggle to sleep I pull myself closer to Four. He falls asleep quickly, his tiny snores soothing me. I love this man, and I know I always will. I have no doubts.

 _I can trust him, he has earned my confidence._

Kissing his lips softly while trying not to wake him, I make my decision.

It will be hard, but I need to tell him the truth about Natty. And I need to tell him soon.

Finally having decided that I will tell him, a new wave of anxiety washes over me. I want to get it over with soon, but I can't even begin to imagine _what_ I will say.


	7. Chapter 33: No More Deceptions & Secrets

**Author's note: _This chapter was originally written as the Mature (M) rating. It was then edited to fit the General rating for our more delicate readers. If you would like to read the T (general) version please close this story and find the T version of ch 33 in the main story._**

* * *

 **Chapter 33: No More Deceptions & Secrets (M version)**

 **Date: Mid-September - Baby Natty is 8 months old**

 **^^ Two Days Later ^^**

 **** Tris POV ****

Holding my lunch tray while waiting in line to grab a water, a constant rattling sound breaks me from my thoughts. My mind has been running non-stop the last two days, with no resolution in sight. Quickly looking around, it takes me a moment to realize it is the tin bowl of chili on my tray that is making the sound. My hands are shaking…again. I breathe in and out to calm myself. Forcing my hands to steady, my eyes darting around to make sure no one I know is standing near me in line. As hard as I've tried to act normal, the people closest to me have still noticed the change in my demeanor these last two days. Luckily the news that Four and I are having problems has circulated, so everyone assumes that is the cause. Little do they know about the greater issue I am facing.

" _You have three days. If you go running to my son about this, or you do not bring the baby to me by seven PM, I will go to Marcus."_

That vile woman's words ring in my ear for the hundredth time. Tomorrow is day three. Tomorrow I have to choose between Evelyn and Marcus. Natty is not a sister to me, she never was. Either monster I choose, I lose my daughter.

I'm relieved when I see Uriah and Marlene sitting alone at the end of a table, the other half full of some Dauntless members I have never met. I can sit with the happy couple and hopefully be able to eat fast without needing to talk.

"May I join you guys? I have to eat quickly before my shift starts…" I am careful to keep my voice neutral.

"You don't have to ask Tris, of course you are welcome. Have a seat," Mar says warmly motioning to the seat right across from her and Uri.

I notice Uriah smiles and nods, but the smile not quite reaching his eyes. He tried to talk to me yesterday about Four, I had to cut him short as daycare was closing. I know he is concerned.

They are having a conversation about Hana's birthday next week as I zone out.

"Tris?" Mar asks.

"Everything okay with your chili? You look like you are about to gag," she asks with concern. Spooning a second bite of chili into my mouth I force myself to chew before swallowing. Although this is one of my favorite dishes at Dauntless, I can barely stomach it right now. I am eating because I have to, I don't want to add low blood sugars to my list of concerns right now.

"I'm just tired. It's fine," I mumble before taking another bite and smiling.

"I was going to say – please don't tell me you are getting a stomach bug! Then Natty would probably get it and germs pass through daycare like crazy," Marlene laughs. "I'm so glad I get to work in her class in the afternoons. She is a little love."

I have to take a sip of water to control my sudden urge to vomit. What the hell will I tell daycare when Natty is suddenly gone? What will I tell my friends? I have until tomorrow evening to bring the baby to Factionless. Will tomorrow by her last day at daycare?

"Marlene, there is Sarah by the bathrooms. Didn't you need to talk to about that side babysitting gig?" Uri asks in between cake bites.

"Yes! I'll be right back, good eye babe," she calls over her shoulder as she sprints towards the bathrooms.

"Now that we are alone…" he starts, watching me with concern. "I'm worried about you, Tris. Just like Zeke is worried about Four. My brother told me that Four is really upset as well."

I fight to remain calm as Uriah goes on to give me relationship advice. I can't tell him, where would I even begin? Not to mention, as much as I love Uriah I also know that he is terrible at keeping a secret. I love Four, but I only have the bandwidth to concentrate on Evelyn Johnson at the moment.

"Tris? Jeez, are you even listening to me?" Uriah sighs heavily. "Look Tris, you don't have to say anything. I can see you are really messed up because of your issues with Four. Just know, I am your friend and here if you need to talk."

I don't correct him; I allow him to run with his theory. Little does he know that my world is crumbling around me.

And my time is running out.

* * *

Walking through the halls I stop at a water fountain to fill my water bottle. I wait quietly while a woman and her two children are finishing up in front of me.

"Mommy, when is my daddy coming home from working the fence?!" the little boy asks. I would guess he is about five or four years old. The woman is balancing an infant on her hip while trying to close her water bottle.

"Jon, your daddy will be home in three more bedtimes. We talked about it this morning. I know you miss him, we all do. Just like he misses us too when he has to work," the woman answers while shooting me an apologetic smile as she pulls a second water bottle that needs to be filled.

I smile to let her know that it is not a problem.

"Okaaay. Baby Millie is so lucky, she's so little. Babies don't even miss people when they are not around," the little boy pouts while playing with her sister's little shoeless-foot.

My eyes widen, for the first time realizing an awful truth. The woman only confirming my horror as she explains to her son that although babies can't speak, they are people and have real feelings. She assures her son that his little sister does miss their daddy when he is away. She reminds him how "Millie's" eyes lights up every time he gets home from school.

I can't take another moment. I quickly turn and walk away, tears filling my eyes. All this time, I have agonized about _my feelings_ over losing Natty. I was a fool to not realize how my baby will suffer when I am suddenly gone. She will never understand, nor be old enough to ask or comprehend an explanation. I know my daughter will miss me, she has always known me as her mother.

My heart is breaking as I blink to dry my tears, head down as I walk away. Turning the corner I almost bump into a couple that is embraced in a heated kiss. Scowling, I wonder why on earth a pair would feel the need to suck face while standing in front of the Dauntless Tattoo Parlour. As I step around them I look up for the first time to see that it is none other than Christina in this passionate embrace. And it is not Will that she has her arms wrapped around!

Rolling my eyes I increase my speed as I stomp away.

"Tris?" Christina calls my name.

I decide to keep walking, I have nothing to say to her right now. Moments later I feel her hand on my arm. "Tris! Didn't you hear me calling you?!"

Sighing loudly I pull my arm away. "Chris, you looked pretty _busy_ and I need to get back to work."

Looking concerned she places her hand gently on my shoulder, "Tris, what's wrong?"

Biting my lip I know that I should just keep my mouth shut and walk away. I know it is none of my business but I just can't control myself.

"So, did you and Will break up?" I snap, my voice sounding harsher than I wanted it to.

"Um, no. We are still on a break. But you know that already," Christina says defensively.

 _On a break. Just like Four and me._

Moving my palm to my forehead I press hard. I know that I should be focused on Natty and the dilemma I am facing, but my heart aches. Is Four running around the compound having heated make out sessions with girls all over Dauntless? And if he isn't now, is that next?!

"Hey, you need to relax. You have been so distraught these last two days. I assume you and Four are still taking some space?" She asks carefully as I nod to confirm.

"You know, I wasn't doing anything wrong. Will and I both agreed to see other people," pausing to gather her thoughts. "I'm actually glad we ran into each other. I am really starting to worry about you, Tris. I know how important Four is to you, I hope you can work out whatever this thing is."

Biting my lip to hold back the hysterical laugh that threatens to escape, I manage to just nod. I am on the verge of having my life implode.

"Listen, both Will and I are very different people then you and Four. What Will and I are doing, works for us. Tris, you should trust what you and Four have agreed to. Chin up, okay?" she asks, her face etched with concern.

"Yeah, you make a good point," I muster. "I do need to get going. I'll see you around."

We share a quick hug before I go on my way. I wish I could say that Christina's logical points made me feel better.

But the truth is I just feel worse. Natty's little face pops into my head, time is running out.

 **++o+ Flashback ~ The day before +o++**

 _It's been twenty four hours since I met with Evelyn, I am no closer to a solution that I can live with. Walking out of my Emergency and First Responder training class while lost in thought, I don't even realize I walked right past Four as I move down the hall._

 _Calling my name to get my attention I whirl around to see him standing right outside of the door to my class._

 _Shit, I can't deal with him right now. I just can't._

 _For the first time ever, I look at his face and I can see Evelyn. The woman that is destroying my life. His mother, the most selfish woman that has ever existed. And Four was the one to tell her exactly where to find Natty._

 _Even if I wanted to confide in Four, I believe her threats. This woman probably has eyes everywhere. I know Evelyn will unleash Marcus on me the moment she realizes I am not giving her my baby. Even if I wanted to talk to Four, I don't even know what I would say._

 _How about – 'Your crazy, evil mommy wants a second chance at motherhood and since she has no hope with her actual son_ _\- she picked my daughter.'_

" _We need to talk, Tris," he states slowly. I can see that he is uncomfortable._

" _Four, I need space. I'm not ready to talk yet. Please just leave me alone," I demand before turning my back to him. I am two seconds away from losing my cool and breaking down._

" _No, Tris," he says in a firm voice. "We need to talk, and it can't wait. I need a moment of your time."_

 _I nod in defeat, already dreading what will be said. An image of Will on a date with some girl that is not Christina flashes through my mind._

 _We walk down the hall in silence until he motions to a spot that I can only assume he knows will not be in clear view of the surveillance room._

" _What is it?" I ask, desperate to get this conversation over with. For a moment I wonder if he is just going to rip off the band aid and dump me on the spot. A large part of me wouldn't even blame him._

" _I get that we are having problems as a couple, and we are trying to have some space...but I want to babysit Natty so that I can see her," Four says firmly._

 _My back straightens, for some reason that was not at all what I expecting. Frowning, I immediately shake my head from side to side without thinking. His frown deepens at seeing my reaction._

" _Actually…let's not call it babysitting. I want to spend time with_ my sister _," he states firmly._

 _Staring at him with a blank look as my mind runs a million miles a minute. My stomach drops as I begin to feel sick. I am dealing with so much right now – and my 'on a break' boyfriend wants to see Natty without me._

 _Maybe his mother will ask him for help raising Natty._

 _An irrational thought crosses my mind, I imagine Four moving on to love another girl. Then she would be the one bonding with Natty! The jealousy that courses through my body is enough to finally set me over the edge._

" _What is your hesitation, Tris?! She is my family too. Bottom line, even if things never work out between us - I need to have a relationship with my sister," he pauses to breathe in and out. His next phrase is said in a calmer tone. "I want her to sleep at my place tonight. I can drop her off at daycare tomorrow."_

 _Fists clenched, my eyes flash with rage as I face him._

" _I don't give a crap what you want right now!" I hiss as tears fill my eyes, immediately spilling over. My voice cracks with emotion as I begin to shake._

 _Four's eyes widen slightly, "Tris, are you okay? Look, we can- -"_

 _Angrily wiping a tear off my cheek I snap, "Just leave me the hell alone. I don't have time to deal with you right now. But don't worry - one day soon I'm sure everything you want will work out!"_

 _I storm off as he calls my name, begging me to wait. I walk as fast as I can to put distance between us. I have to get away._

 _ **++o+ Flashback end +o++**_

Walking towards daycare to pick up Natty after my last class of the day, I decide to skip the cafeteria this evening. I just want to spend time alone… It possibly being our last night together. Walking into the main corridor that would lead to the Dauntless Daycare my eyes immediately fall on a frantic Uriah. He looks panicked as he is pushing past bodies, his eyes widening as he sees me.

"Tris! Tris! I know you are studying to be a doctor, do you know CPR?!" he shouts frantically while placing his hands on my shoulders. My blood runs cold, someone must be in trouble.

"I know it, yes! What is- -" I ask as Uriah interrupts me mid-sentence to grab my wrist and begins leading me in the opposite direction from where I came.

"I was walking to wait for Marlene to get off from work, a woman was crying because her husband had collapsed and he was having a hard time breathing," Uriah explains, now practically running us through the Dauntless hallways. "Another woman ran to notify the clinic, but if there is anything you can do until they arrive…"

"Of course! Where is he?" I breathe anxiously, I have not been involved in a true emergency situation yet but I have to at least try to help.

Leading me into a large storage room Uriah rushes towards the door at the back. "He collapsed in the bathroom, I heard his wife screaming from the hallway."

As Uriah swiftly ushers me into the large bathroom my confusion is immediate. The bathroom is empty, no sign of anyone having been there at all. Turning to ask him what is going on I see the door close behind me, Uriah has shut me in this bathroom!

Gasping, I bang on the door. "Uriah! What the hell are you doing?!"

"Just go with it, I promise you will not be locked in there for long. Also, this main room was used for interrogations back in the day; it's a soundproof room from the main hallway. Just trying to save you some effort if you think screaming will get you out of here any sooner. I've gotta go!"

Pinching the bridge of my nose I fight to remain calm. I trust Uri as a person, I know he would never purposely harm me.

He doesn't know that tonight may be my last night with Natty. He won't know what this little game is costing me.

* * *

 **** Four POV ****

Stretching dramatically Zeke groans, "Shit, this has felt like the longest shift ever. Wanna join me and Shauna for dinner?"

"Um, yeah sure. It's not like I have any plans." I frown. "Tris is still avoiding me…"

Zeke begins to comment on my Tris situation when he suddenly curses at his computer screen. Raising my eyebrows I ask him what the issue is this time. Our boss, Gus, has been riding his ass the last month. Uriah is being trained since joining our department, and every misstep he takes Zeke is held personally responsible. Although not fair, that is how things work around Dauntless.

"Son of a- -" Zeke mutters under his breath before I ask again what is going on.

"My brother left his shift this morning without completing a task he was assigned, grunt work of course. Gus is furious, and now I need to do it! This shit is going to take me forever," Zeke grumbles. "Tell Shauna I'll see her at her place if I can't make it to dinner."

"It can't be that bad, what is it?" I push.

"I have to go to a storage room across the compound and get some spare cameras. The issue that I need to plug each one in and test it is still functioning," Zeke sighs while gathering his things.

Our shift replacements have already arrived as we were about to clock out and leave for dinner. I sigh, I know I have to help my friend.

"Zeke, call Shauna and tell her we will be late to dinner. I'll come with you and help. At least I can cut the time in half," I offer.

"Thanks Four! I will owe you," Zeke runs to a phone and gives me a thumbs up from across the room.

Walking across the compound Zeke is unusually quiet, stewing about his brother no doubt. It allows me the opportunity to think about Tris and Natty. These days have become more and more painful. I know we are on a break and taking time to cool off. But at some point I am hoping she will be ready to try talk things out.

If not, I don't see how we will ever get past all of the issues between us.

"Four? You coming?" Zeke is holding the door open and motioning for me to enter.

I step into the room and turn on the lights. Quickly scanning the storage area I notice there are no cameras in the room. Zeke made it sound like we would be here for hours testing.

"Are you sure we are in the right place? I don't see any- -" I am cut off by the door slamming shut behind me. I whirl around and see that Zeke is not in the room with me.

What the hell?

I try to open the door that leads to the hallway and it is locked. I bang on the wall and yell for Zeke to stop screwing around. This is ridiculous.

"Four? Is that you?" I hear Tris call out from the opposite side of the room.

Running towards her voice I see there is a closed door, a note and a key taped to the wall beside it.

"Tris! It's me. Hold on, I think I can get you out of there," I call out to her, trying the lock before reading the note. I sigh with relief as it opens on the first try.

Flinging the door open I see a very angry looking Tris, our eyes lock and realization hits us at the same time.

"Uriah?" I ask her.

"Zeke?" Tris asks.

We both groan, this is such a Pedrad brothers move. Looking around I notice the room has blankets, food, water bottles and there is also the bathroom that Tris had been locked in.

"Look at all of this stuff? Are they planning on keeping us here for a week?!" Tris cries, I notice how agitated she sounds. My stomach flips, I wonder if she hates the idea of being stuck with me.

"Four," she whispers, placing her hand on my arm. "It's not because I don't want to be here with you. I am just worried about Natty."

I relax and give her a small smile. Then I remember the note that is taped to the wall. It's time to find out.

 _Dear Four and Tris,_

 _You are probably pretty pissed right now, not that we can blame you. Here is the deal: you guys are going to be stuck in this room for as long it takes you both to figure your shit out. As your friends, we can no longer take how miserable you both are…without the other._

 _No worries about Natty, we hired Monica to watch her for the night. Don't think we won't leave you in that room for a long time if needed. Also – save your breath, this room is sound proof. We left a walkie-talkie on the table, we will check in on you in the morning. Have fun!_

 _~ Zeke and Uri_

Tris looks downtrodden, plopping down on the couch as I look around the room. I easily find the locations in the room that used to have surveillance cameras, there is nothing. Which doesn't surprise me, Zeke would be smart enough to cover his tracks.

"I don't see any way out. There are no cameras in the room, which would make sense since it looks like it is just used for storage," I sigh while moving to kneel in front of Tris as she sits on the couch.

I'm relieved when she gives me a small smile, I'm hopeful that she will be ready to talk. I love her, and I want to work things out.

"While we are here… Can we talk now?" I ask hopefully.

"I don't really have much of a choice at this point," Tris teases, with a stressed look. "You start. Please."

"Fair enough. Logically I know you were in a terrible situation, and I you tried to find me on Visiting Day when Natalie was pregnant," I pause. Part of me just wants to forgive Tris. I just want to love her and never let her go. I also need to get a few things off of my chest.

"Tris, what really eats at me is that we fell in love, for a second time. We found love as the people we are today, not the sheltered Abnegation kids that were thrown together," I slip my hands over hers and she nods, her eyes shining with tears. "It hurts me that after we got together, you held onto the lies about a baby that is my family too. Aside from the secret making me furious…the truth is that I am really hurt. It makes me doubt if you love and trust me as much as I was so sure you did."

Tris stiffens at my admission, turning to me she frowns. Looking at me sadly, her soft hands touching my cheek.

"I do love you, Four. No matter what, never doubt that," she promises.

Sighing I move from the floor to sit next to her on the couch.

"Then what was it? Were you afraid that one day I would turn out to be like Marcus? That I would become some kind of abuser?" I push. I want to understand what she was thinking.

"No! Don't think that for a moment. I know you are not a monster!" Tris cries, wiping a tear from her cheek.

"Then how? How could you keep me away from my own sister?" I ask painfully.

"Four, I was wrong. I will also not apologize for keeping the secret from you when I first arrived to Dauntless. Be mad if you want, but I didn't know you, and I certainly didn't trust you. Try to look at it from my perspective; it was not that long ago that you told me the real reason you had been so cruel to me. Arriving to Dauntless I didn't see you as a dependable person that I could trust," she pauses to calm herself.

"You are right, I will own that. I made a terrible mistake when I left Abnegation. I regret it," I say softly.

"I also know that I was wrong to keep this secret from you for so long. Even before we fell in love and got together…I knew deep down that you were a good person and I could see how kind you were with Natty," Tris admits.

She stands up to pace the room, wringing her hands nervously as she struggles to explain.

"What I have realized, there is nothing that I can say that will justify keeping you in the dark about Natty being your sister. I am not even sure if I could forgive you if our roles had been reversed," Tris whispers while sitting next to me again. "All I can say is that I am deeply sorry. And I swear to you, it had been eating at me. At first I was so afraid of losing _you_ that I didn't want to risk things changing. It was killing me to love you so deeply and have this lie between us. I had already decided to tell you, I was just scared and trying to figure out how!"

I believe her, I know that she loves me. And I can also recall times between us when she seemed preoccupied and stressed. I can only imagine those were times she struggled with the lies.

"Four, I am sorry. I hope you can forgive me one day," Tris whispers softly.

"I forgive you," I assure her immediately. "I want to get everything on the table and move on."

Tris cringes and averts her eyes, signaling to me that she is still holding back.

"Whatever it is, please just say it," I plead.

"I love you, Four. But I can't even begin to explain to you how difficult... I'm still upset you told your mother where Natty and I were!" Tris exclaims.

"Well, had you been honest with me then I would never have released that information!" I counter. I get she is upset, but I had no idea that there was any type of secret to protect.

"You know what? I am hurt too, it is not like you were an open book for me either. Even after we fell in love and were intimate you held secrets. Come on Four! How could you not tell me that you mother was alive? And let's not forget that she is leader of Factionless and has plans to overthrow the government." Tris yells at me.

The moment the words leave her mouth I realize something larger is going on.

"Wait a minute. I never told you the specifics about Evelyn. How do you know about her political plans?" I demand, my mind reeling. "No more lies, I want to have a life with you and Natty. But we aren't going to work if we can't trust each other!"

Tris lets out a hysterical laugh before cradling her face in her hands, she is suddenly sobbing. I feel the sadness and despair in her actions, I see she is hurting. I don't hesitate, pulling her into my lap and holding her tightly against me to comfort her.

"I love you, Tris. I have loved you for so long, and I will never stop. No matter what, I will always be there for you," I plant soft kisses all over her face until she smiles for me.

Her body no longer shaking she puts her arms around my neck and holds my tightly.

"I love you too, always," Tris smiles. "I don't want any more secrets or deception between us. I have to tell you everything."

"I want the same thing. Please, tell me what is going on," I ask softly. She is the only one who can decide to let go of her secrets.

She opens her mouth to speak and then closes it again, in that moment I realize there is something seriously wrong. She is struggling, she has been all this time and I didn't really see it. I should have known from the way she exploded at me yesterday.

"Oh Four! Things are so bad, your mom sent me a note demanding I meet with her in Factionless." The moment her words settle in my back stiffens. I sit perfectly still as Tris gets it all out.

"Evelyn gave me an ultimatum! She wants Natty! Your mother wants a second chance at having a child, and she is determined that Natty will be just that. She made it clear to me that she gave up hope that you would ever _really forgive_ her. And when she sees Natty, she knows that even a half sibling will be the closest thing she will ever as her second chance with you! I have to give her Natty by tomorrow evening or she will make sure I lose the baby anyways," Tris cries, barely able to get the words out over her crying. "I can either give Natty to Evelyn or she will tell Marcus what I did! Your father would get Natty and I then I would be facing criminal charges for kidnapping! Marcus would see me rot in prison for what I have done. Evelyn told me that she has eyes everywhere, I've been on my own with this. If I told you or anyone then she would go straight to Marcus! She also told me you planned to join her in Factionless!"

I am livid. I see red, as I process what that horrid woman is doing. How dare she threaten Tris? She wants to take Natty, an innocent baby, away from the only mother she knows?! My blood runs cold, knowing she's also threatening to hand a child over to the monster that abused us both. That is just cruel.

It dawns on me, this is the same woman that left me behind like an old shoe to run off and save _herself._ Of course she couldn't care less about what the baby would feel or go through!

Holding Tris close as she buries her face in my neck, I comfort her. I promise her that we will figure this out together.

"Look at me," I demand as our eyes lock. "I am here, we are in this together. It will be over my dead body that either of my demented parents ever get Natty. I don't care what it takes, I will never let them hurt her. Or you. And for the record, this fiasco aside, Evelyn has asked me to join her and my answer has always been _no._ I know I will never get over what she did to me, I don't even want to. You can count on me, always."

Not sure which one of us leaned in first, but our lips crash together. I somehow pull her even closer to me as our kisses become passionate and desperate. I love this woman, and I'll do anything to protect her.

Our kisses continue as Tris shifts to straddle me on the couch. Our lips are frantic, alternating between kissing deeply and then pressing soft pecks all over her neck, collar even her cleavage a couple of times.

Breaking our kiss to rest her forehead against mine, Tris breathes roughly.

"You okay?" I ask as my hands roam up and down her sides.

"Yeah, it's just been a crazy couple of days. But I want you to know that I trust you," she mumbles before kissing me slowly, our tongues softly moving together.

"I need to ask you something, because I just have to know either way… I was so worried you would see other girls while we were on a break," clearing her throat uncomfortably. "Did you?"

"Absolutely not, my heart belongs to you. Even when we have a terrible fight, I still love you," I promise her. I also know that I need to be honest with her about it all. "I have to tell you, you were right about Lauren."

Tris's body instantly stiffens at the mention of her name. This may be hard, but it must be said. No more lies.

"Lauren made a pass at me. She really believed you and I had broken up," I pull Tris even closer to me when she begins to wiggle off. I can tell she is hurt.

"Tris, it's okay. Nothing happened. I kindly shot her down right away and she accepted it," I pause before letting go of another secret between us. "The reason I didn't think Lauren would care about us dating is because Lauren and I have never been romantic."

Tris's eyes snap up, confusion written across her face.

"I lied, I never had sex with Lauren. Or any other girl for that matter," I admit softly.

"What? I mean...what?" Tris asks, looking stunned.

"I never wanted to go to Dauntless and see how much ass I could sample, that was a lie! When I first got here I was a broken man, afraid of who I would become. And when I realized that Marcus had manipulated me, I was waiting for you, Tris! I had this huge fantasy in my mind of what our reunion would be like on your choosing day."

"I am shocked! I mean… But what about… All the rumors?" Tris pushes, her eyes are wide.

"It was all just speculation, and I let people run with it. I will admit, the Lauren thing during initiation was planned. I was so angry when you showed up with a baby. I was a virgin in Dauntless, and there you were – with another man's child," I cringe remembering not only how mad I was, but how badly I felt about myself. "I was angry and my pride got in the way. Lauren agreed to play along…but I swear nothing romantic has ever happened between us."

"So we were both virgins our first time, but didn't know it," she says slowly.

I chuckle as it does sound crazy. And suddenly Tris is laughing too. I smile at her, she looks happy. The dullness and pain I had seen in her eyes these last days is gone, at least for the moment.

"Well, our first time was not exactly…" Tris giggles and bites her lip while smiling down at me.

I roll my eyes, "You can just say it. Our first time kinda sucked. Looking back now, things make a lot more sense! Had I known you were a virgin I would have been more careful…" my cheeks get red.

"And I had I know you were a virgin, I would not have been so shocked at how…um…fast it ended." Tris laughs as I nip at her lower lip. I can't even be mad, I know our first time was borderline terrible. But I also know that our second time was pretty damned good.

Although Tris is already straddling me, I move her body so that she is sitting directly on my lap. All of this cuddling and talk about sex has gotten me worked up.

My hands roaming to the places I know she really likes, I lean closer to whisper, "Besides, I think after minimal practice we have both gotten _really good_ at making love."

Tris blushes deeply and agrees while rolling her hips so she can feel how hard I am for her.

I groan as we begin slowly rocking our bodies just the right way to let the other person know how much we want this. Tris begins whimpering as she grinds on the large bulge of my jeans. She is wearing leggings, I know she is feeling enough to get her really aroused.

I unbutton her blouse while her fingers dig into my shoulders, taking a nipple into my mouth over her satin bra she cries out loudly. I am suddenly relieved this room is soundproof.

"Four, make love to me!" she begs as we both begin taking our clothes off.

"Lay down on the couch, I'll get us a blanket," I reach over to grab a blanket from the pile of supplies the Pedrad brothers left for us.

It's then that I see they were courteous enough to leave us a box of condoms. They really did think of everything.

"Are you coming?" Tris demands as she wait on the couch.

I decide to tell her about the condoms later, right now we both need to be together.

Laying down and pulling a blanket over us I begin slowly kissing up and down her neck as she opens her legs so that I fit snugly in between them. Our hands roam everywhere, at first starting slow and then harder and faster as the moment builds up.

Slipping my hand between us I am pleased when I feel how wet she is for me. I am gentle as I build her up slowly, I want her to be right on the edge when I finally give us what we both want.

"Four, don't tease me," she scolds her body frantically shaking under me. Her hand slides down as she strokes my shaft, I groan in approval as my hips begin jerking as her hand works my cock.

Bending one of her legs almost to her chest I align myself with her sweet entrance. We lock eyes, as I slowly stroke into her. She is warm and tight, I hiss with pleasure.

We hold each other tightly as we make love. Tris comes first, I hold her trembling body in my arms as she rides out her orgasm. After her hands wrap around me and go low to massage my ass as I make love to her, desperately chasing my own release.

Our mouths find each other as we kiss lovingly. I feel her tightening around me for the second time, her grunts and gasps alerting me that she is so close to coming.

It is enough to get me to the edge. I groan loudly and pound roughly into her as I climax. She finishes right behind, now a trembling heap in my arms.

I roll to my side and pull her closer to me. We hold each other in silence for a few moments.

I need a little more time before I can go again, but I know I want to.

"Yes, all of our practice has made us pretty damned good at this!" Tris laughs and all I can do is join her.

I know because of my mother's timeline, that we have a lot to figure out and not a lot of time. But before we start, we enjoy this moment together.

* * *

 ** _As our usual posting day is Mondays, next week's chapter falls on the holiday. FourtrisHEA and I will be spending Christmas Eve and Day with our families, so you should expect next week's chapter to be a day or two late. We expect it to be up on December 27 at the latest. Thank you for your patience, and we hope you all have a happy and safe holiday!_**


	8. Chapter 34: Getting Help

AN: This chapter was originally written as Mature (M). If you prefer to read the general audience version, please open the regular/complete story from the Author Page.

We hope everyone had a wonderful holiday with their loved ones. Thank you for your patience with this chapter.

* * *

 **Chapter 34: Getting Help (M version)**

 **Date: Mid-September +o+ Baby Natty is 8 months old**

 **^^ Very Early the Next Morning ^^**

 *** Tobias POV ***

"We should get dressed," I whisper while kissing Tris's cheek. We are still snuggled under the blanket on the couch. Closing my eyes, I make a mental note at how much I enjoyed making love to her on this particular piece of furniture. Not that I ever plan to be locked in a storage room again, but I do have a nice couch in my apartment. Grinning, I file it away for future reference.

I know I will have a future with Tris. No matter what it takes, I will fight for her and what we have.

"I know, but I still just want to freeze time," Tris pauses to look into my eyes sadly. "I know we have gone over this a dozen times, I'm still trying to accept it."

My brows furrow, running my thumb across her jaw. I wish I could push her pain away. After satisfying our pent up desires last night we held each other for many hours trying to decide our next steps. Tears were shed, kisses and caresses were shared as we each drew strength from the other.

The early morning is here and I know that my adrenaline is coursing through my veins because of the threats ahead of us. "It's hard to accept, but we are in agreement. The truth of Natty's paternity will never stay hidden forever. A secret this large, would have come to light eventually. We need to face it now," I gently remind her.

"I know, you're right. Even if Marcus saw me a year from now, or five years from now, with a daughter her age…he would suspect the truth. I have to face this head on," she says with resolution. "Natty was never really safe."

"We have our plan, it's our only hope. We have to confess and get ahead of this," I say hoarsely while kissing her firmly. My stomach in knots at the prospect of losing Tris, but I remind myself that I would make the same sacrifice if called upon. I have to concentrate on the fact that Tris is just as capable and brave as I myself strive to be.

"I know, and as much as I fear the prospect of prison… That little girl is more important to me than myself. I will sacrifice for her, I would do anything for her," Tris says firmly.

I marvel at her strength and resolve, this girl that I met so many years ago on the roof of a funeral home. I loved her then, but the person she is today amazes me so much more. She is truly selfless and strong. The love I feel for the woman she is today overwhelms me. She is my everything.

"Natty's best chance is to be hidden, even if it ends up being forever…she can never go to Marcus or Evelyn. Ever!" Tris reminds me of the promise we made to each other.

"Tris, I agree 100%. As the unlucky offspring of these two degenerates, I know more than anyone. It pains me to imagine a life where we don't have Natty, but if it is the best thing for her…it will be worth it," I concede.

After much deliberation throughout the night, we both agreed that the best chance that Natty has is to be hidden, while also being apart from us both. Our hearts ache at the prospect of giving Natty up, but we have agreed that raising Natty ourselves while on the run or even with the secret somehow intact – is too large of a risk for her.

We love her enough to put her needs first.

Sighing as Tris and I get dressed, I think about our plan.

We agree that Monica is a kind hearted woman who genuinely loves Natty. Both Tris and I, separately, have had authentic and important conversations with the wise woman. Monica is practical, kind and decent. We can trust her to help us, or at least give us good advice. She is also far enough removed from our lives that she would not be one of the first people that would be suspected of helping us.

Tris and I have hope, we want to believe we can keep the baby safe.

* * *

"Zeke, as grateful as I am…don't you ever pull a bull shit move like that on me again!" I jokingly threaten my best friend while patting him on the back.

The smug look on Zeke's face is enough to make me roll my eyes. He is very proud of himself for his role in bringing Tris and I back together.

"Tell Uriah…" Tris's voice falters. I imagine it occurs to her that she may not see Uriah anytime soon if things go south. "Just tell him that l although I don't appreciate his sneaky methods, I do appreciate him as a friend."

Zeke and Tris share a quick hug.

"Tris, we need to go. Bye Zeke, please don't forget to erase all of the surveillance tapes that I wrote down. I may call you with some more help if I need it. And tell Gus-"

"Yeah, yeah. I got it all. You are calling out sick, and you also want me to delete the video between this room and Monica's apartment. I don't know what is going on, but you can count on me," Zeke assures me.

As we run through the halls I squeeze Tris's hand reassuringly.

Opening her door, Monica's smile falters the moment she sees the look on our faces. Quickly ushering us into her home she asks what is going on. Natty is still sleeping in the crib in the guest bedroom so Tris and I are able to confess the entire story without distraction.

My childhood, my parents, and our short time as step siblings…I place my hand firmly on Tris's knee as she recounts what happened after I left Abnegation. It is only after Tris calmly places her hand on top of mine that I realize my hand had been shaking. It still pains me to hear what my father did to Natalie.

Monica is quiet, nodding her head as partial conversations between us become clear to her. After we are done getting her up to speed she asks us how far we are willing to go to protect Natty, because her idea will be difficult but it may be the only way to guarantee her safety.

"I have distant cousin that lives in Amity that runs a small daycare out of her home. She is someone that I love and trust, but we also have grown apart over the years after she left Dauntless. Very few people even know she and I are connected. I believe that she could hide Natty, while also keeping her happy and safe. One more child will blend in nicely with her small daycare in her own house," Monica says softly, her eyes saddened as endless tears fall down Tris's cheek. "I will give you both a moment. My husband works the night shift, I am going to wake him and get him up to speed."

"Thank you, Monica," Tris gasps as she struggles to keep her sobs at bay.

"Hey, talk to me," I whisper in her ear, running my hands up and down her arms. "I love you, we are going to get through this."

"I know, I just am overwhelmed. I don't know how I am going to say goodbye. I don't know how-" Tris's voice breaking as she buries her head in my neck.

"All of this, isn't right. Everything you have been through, all you have suffered… There is nothing I can say to make this okay. All I can do is promise you I am in this with you." Our lips press together, the passion and love always present. "No matter what, I am on your side."

"Thank you, Four. I love you," she murmurs.

An hour later we have the plan in place, now I am just waiting on Zeke to do his part. Monica's husband works in security for the transport of supplies in Amity. He will be sneaking Natty out of the Dauntless compound in a basket and bringing her to Monica's cousin. The cameras that cover the path between Monica's apartment for Tris and I, and then her husband to leave, will be simultaneously shut down for a scheduled maintenance. Luckily that is part of Zeke's job, so he can plan his schedule to best meet our needs.

"It's time," I murmur painfully hanging up the phone after talking to Zeke. My eyes flitter nervously as Tris buries her face into Natty's chest. The baby is smiling and happy, unaware of what is happening around her.

"Tris," I repeat, for a moment I worry she is going to break. That she will be unable to let Natty go.

Tris pats the cushion next to her on the couch, motioning for me to join them. I pull both of my girls into my arms, my chest constricting painfully as we say our goodbyes.

Natty's beautiful face beams at me with nothing but innocence. She is perfect and I love her deeply. I have for a long time now.

"Four, what if this is the last time I ever see her? What if I am saying goodbye forever and she won't understand where I went?" Tris cries painfully.

"Tris, I am going to try my best to make sure that doesn't happen," I say, kissing her temple and then kissing Natty's head.

Tris holds it together until Monica and her husband leave with a well-hidden Natty. Their path through the compound will not be monitored. I believe Evelyn has her connections and spies, I doubt her threat to Tris was empty.

I wipe the tears off of her face before pulling her into me. "Come on, we need to get cleaned up before we head to Candor. I know we have time before the seven PM deadline, but the earlier the better."

We go to Tris's apartment. Even though we had been on a break, I had never retrieved the few things I kept at her place. Having a fresh change of clothes and my toiletries, I decide to take a shower there.

I lean my head against the tile of the shower, the water as hot as I can stand it beating down on the muscles of my back. I think about our plan to talk to Jack Kang when we arrive to Candor. Tris is going to explain the past, and then confess to her actions. My thoughts are interrupted as Tris opens the bathroom door, steam escaping the small bathroom until she closes the door behind her.

"Tris?" I mumble while washing the soap off of my hair and face.

"May I join you?" she asks shyly while undressing in the bathroom.

"Of course," I smile while holding a hand out to her as she steps into the shower. The sadness in her eyes is like a knife in my heart. She is in pain, and there is nothing I can do to take it away.

Our bodies press firmly against each other as we comfort each other. The love between us is what is keeping me tethered. From the moment I found out what was at stake, I wanted to hunt down Marcus and end him. I still want to!

My thoughts while holding Tris close are interrupted when her hand slides down my stomach to grip my cock. I brace myself against the tile of the shower while gasping her name.

"Shhh…please, just for right now. I just want us to be a girl and a boy in a shower, I don't want to think about anything else," she pleads, her firm and pleasurable grip on my shaft moving up and down.

Unable to speak as my moans echo loudly all I can do is nod in agreement. Tris smiles before kissing my mouth roughly. Gathering my wits I pull her close before turning her body to face the tile, pressing my body against her. I slide my hand around her until I reach her core and begin pleasuring her. I want her to come, I want her to forget about this mess. Even if it is only for a moment.

"Oh yeah, right there," she whimpers, pushing her body harder against my hand and the wall. My other arm slides around her in order to support her weight as she comes roughly.

"Take me to bed. Please," she commands while turning the water off. Her eyes dazed with lust, her swollen lips calling to me.

Stumbling across the apartment, neither of us willing to break our kiss, we fall onto the bed. Not caring that we are still sopping wet, not caring about the pressures we face.

In that moment we are in love and together. Our hands frantically roaming, I kiss all over her body while rewarded in knowing that her shudders and moans are because of me.

No words need to be spoken; I know she wants me. Just as she knows I want her. Resting my forehead against hers our eyes lock as I thrust into her slowly. We kiss lovingly as we collide again and again.

The love and comfort we share, keeping us grounded in each other.

For now, it is all we have.

Love and hope.

* * *

Careful not to call attention to ourselves or be seen together, we make it to Candor before lunch. Entering the building at different times, I walk to the water fountain by the lobby restrooms. It is a weekday and the building is very busy, thankfully the lobby is frequented by people from all the different factions as Candor now plays a key role in the entire city's judicial system. We don't stick out, which is something we need to avoid because of Evelyn.

I do not need to turn around when I feel Tris's presence behind me. She was careful to place her blond hair in a tight bun, similar to how the Erudite style it. It changes her appearance immensely.

"Ready?" I watch as then Tris gracefully takes a sip of water from the fountain.

"As ready as I'll ever be," she grimaces.

Walking side by side to the receptionist I take the lead. "Hello, my name is Tobias Eaton and this is Beatrice Prior. We would like to request a meeting with Jack Kang."

Without missing a beat the reception types something into the computer screen, I see a calendar of sorts pull up in the reflection of her eye glasses.

After confirming spelling of our names she asks, "What will the subject of the meeting be? Faction Leader Kang is completely booked today, his next general meeting with the public will be three days from now at nine AM."

Tris stiffens next to me, I open my mouth to protest. We need to see Jack immediately, this can't wait.

Holding up her finger to silence me, "One moment, please," she commands while picking up the phone at her desk that started ringing.

"Yes, I just typed their names into the calendar. They are standing right here. Very well, I will let them know. Thank you," she says into the phone as her eyes are now roaming between Tris and I.

"Well it appears to be your lucky day. That was Mr. Kang's assistant. She will be here in a few minutes to escort you in. Mr. Kang would like to see you immediately," she explains while printing out visitor badges.

Standing to the side I look at Tris, who is nervously chewing on her lower lip. Slipping my hand in hers I lean down to kiss her mouth gently. She breaks into a small smile and stops the gnawing of her lip.

An older woman arrives to lead us upstairs to what I can only assume is Jack Kang's office. Closing the door behind us my eyes roam over the office, the moment Tris squeezes my hand I turn to follow her gaze.

We are both shocked to see Abnegation Councilman Jonah standing off to the side. He had been staring out of the window, watching the streets below.

"He is with Abnegation, maybe Evelyn has already turned me in!" Tris hisses quietly.

A sudden panic overcomes me, it suddenly dawns on me how ridiculously easy it was to get this meeting. Why else would they usher us right in to see a leader of a faction? Although Tris and I had agreed that she would face her consequences, I snap. I realize in an instant that I will never let them take her from me.

"We are leaving now, get behind me," I bark at Tris while pulling my weapon out and pointing it at Jonah. I remember the man well, he was my father's right hand man after Andrew Prior died.

"I don't want to hurt anyone, but I will not leave this building without Tris!" I hiss.

My eyes frantically search the room, looking for another escape route. There were guards in the lobby of this floor.

"Of course Marcus got to you already, that man is a manipulative bastard. Jonah, let's go, you are walking with us until we get out of the building," I command coldly while staring at Jonah. "Hands in the air and walk over to me slowly."

"Wait! Good grief, you two are the ones that requested to meet with me. And now you pulling out a gun just so you can demand to leave?" Jack snaps incredulously.

It is then that Jonah speaks, his voice calm and steady. "Tobias, Beatrice...it is good to see you both. I can see Dauntless has been good for you. Each of you look so much stronger and more confident than the teenagers I remember from your time in Abnegation. I am not here to hurt you, if anything I hope that I can help."

Frowning I watch his face as he speaks, I am desperate to decipher if he is telling the truth.

Sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose, Jack calmly sits down at his desk. "Please put that gun away, you are a trusted member of Dauntless. Your job is to protect the citizens of this city...not to point weapons at us. Councilman Jonah is here because he has evidence against Marcus Eaton. In no way has Marcus 'gotten to me,' I find that offensive."

Feeling foolish and relieved at the same time, I nod and lower my weapon. Beside me Tris releases a breath, now calmer.

"Let's all have a seat. I am still not sold on the information Jonah has presented to me. But I would like to hear your take on a few points he mentioned. I am not sure why you both had been requesting to meet with me, please explain," Jack studies both Tris and I with a curious eye. He is a good man, although not very trusting of anyone that is not in his faction. He has always been very clear that it takes a superior person to focus on and relay the truth at all times.

"We came here today, to discuss Marcus Eaton and also to confess a crime," Tris states in a firm voice. A sudden lump in my throat as I process that this is the moment I have been dreading. Tris is going to take responsibility for her actions, while also hoping that she will be shown compassion for the circumstances that led her down this road.

"What crime would that be, Ms. Prior?" Jack asks quietly.

"Kidnapping," Tris manages to say, her voice faltering. It is very evident that this is hard for her say out loud. "I kidnapped my baby sister the same day that my mother died giving birth. My mother who died from injuries related to the beating Marcus had given her that same day."

The room is silent, Jonah painfully turns his head away. Unable to look at Tris as he processes what she has said. It occurs to me that Jonah was very close with Natalie, I can recall a few instances where Natalie and Jonah's wife would purposely sign up to volunteer together.

Jack Kang remains silent, but he does not turn away. His eyes carefully studying Tris before asking her to continue.

"Before Tris continues, I also want to explain my history with Marcus. The man that had abused me throughout my childhood, and I have the scars to prove it," I say as Jack's brow furrows. He nods for me to begin.

"Tobias, you don't have to-" Tris's voice falters. She knows how private and careful I am to hide the scars I carry. But she also knows I will do anything for her.

I remove my jacket and then shirt to show Jack and Jonah the scars that mark my back. As uncomfortable as it makes me, I walk closer to them so they can see the scars that my large tattoo partially masks. It is Jonah's sharp intake of breath that assures me that he has accepted the truth that Marcus Eaton is indeed a monster.

"Thank you, Tobias, for your candor and strength, you may get dressed again. I know I have seen enough," Jack says.

"Please call me Four. Tobias is my given name, I changed it when I joined Dauntless," I request. "I used the name Tobias when I checked in because I wanted you to know exactly who I was. Same for Tris, she no longer uses Beatrice."

"Of course, I understand."

Over the next twenty minutes Tris recounts her story for Jack and Jonah, Jonah only interrupting once to ask why Natalie didn't try to get help. The emotion on the man's face is clear: he feels terrible that this atrocity was happening right under his nose. Tris explained that Natalie didn't learn about what Tobias had endured until after he left, and once Marcus turned on her the threat against her teenage daughter was too much for her to risk. Tris also pointed out that Natalie had no idea who to trust, as Marcus was so powerful and connected.

After all was said, Tris let them know that the couple that were originally going to adopt the baby are willing to testify regarding the ongoing abuse and Natalie's death.

Lastly Tris pulled out a photo I had not seen before. My stomach churned at the sight of a battered Natalie's back.

"This was taken the day my mother died. The last time I looked at it was that day. Only telling him that it existed, I used it against Marcus when I bargained for my freedom. I told him mother and baby boy died that day, and that I would never live in his home again. He accepted my story as he knew he had physically pushed her too far," Tris states flatly, as she stares at Jack and Jonah.

"Are you willing to leave this photo with us?" Jack asks calmly.

"Yes, I have a second copy in the care of a trusted friend," she says.

Jack is very sympathetic to Tris's situation, lastly bringing up that she had already suffered the loss of her father and brother. My eyes shoot up to study Jack, Tris doing the same. I find it odd that the now long ago death of Andrew and Caleb Prior is remembered by Jack.

"I want to help you Tris, you were both right to come to me," Jack says slowly. "The reason Jonah and I were meeting today relates to Marcus Eaton as well."

Jack pauses to exchange a look with Jonah. It's almost as though the men are having a private conversation without words. Finally Jonah nods before turning his attention back to Tris.

"Just recently I came across some information by accident. I needed to check something from Andrew Prior's personnel file. But it was missing, which in itself was odd. Marcus's behavior became erratic and unpredictable when he first married Natalie. As an example, he was desperate to have Beatr-, I mean Tris, go through initiation a year early. As her birthday was very close, he wanted to bend the regulations. But we all know, close doesn't matter - it would have been breaking one of our most important rules. I was stunned at how far he was willing to go. He even asked me to alter Tris's birth certificate! I dismissed that exchange at the time, but it immediately raised a larger red flag in light of the missing file.

"As Marcus was in Erudite on faction business, I made the quick decision to look in his filing cabinet. It was then that I found files of information that Marcus should not have had access to." Jonah pauses to compose himself. "Upon further investigation, I found what I believe is compelling evidence of Marcus's involvement in the bus accident that killed Andrew Prior."

The room is silent, I'm trying to process what this means.

"No! Just no, I can't… My mother married him! Brought him into the home she shared with my father," Tris bursts out painfully. Leaning over to press her fingertips against her temple, the pain she feels is palpable to everyone in the room.

Comforting Tris as best I can, I also understand there is nothing that can be done to push this pain away. I think back to the night I found Tris on the funeral rooftop, the agony she felt over the death of her father and brother.

"If you need some time, we can-" Jack begins. Tris then demands to hear it all, she doesn't want to wait any longer.

"From the information I read, I suspect that Marcus purposely had Andrew and Caleb killed in that bus crash that he orchestrated. There was also a note in the file that Beatrice Prior was supposed to be a passenger on that bus," Jonah pauses as Tris gasps and covers her mouth, the pieces already falling into place in her mind. "Remembering back to their quick courtship, and how determined Marcus was, I believe he wanted Natalie Prior all along."

"I was supposed to be on that bus. I woke up feeling sick, I can still remember everything about that morning. It was the last time that my family was whole…" Tris's voice trails off, tears streaming down her face.

I squeeze my eyes shut for a moment, desperately fighting to calm myself. I hate what my father did, not only to Andrew and Caleb, but also the other innocent people on the bus that died that day.

I try to imagine my life without Tris. Had Marcus succeeded, she would have died too. The thought enrages me.

"So is this it? When are you arresting Marcus?!" Tris demands. The fire is back in her eyes.

Jack sighs before answering. "Could I humiliate Marcus and arrest him within the hour? Yes. The problem is that the hard evidence Jonah was able to secure is not enough to result in a conviction. Tris and Tobias, I believe everything you have shared today. But even your testimony and that of the the Factionless couple is complete hearsay."

I groan, my frustration growing. Somehow that man always manages to get away with his crimes. It's as though he is meant to skate through life avoiding the consequences for his actions.

"Although you can prove that people were hurt, the proof that it was actually Marcus is just not there. What we have today is not enough, but that doesn't mean I am giving up. Listening to your stories and the history of abuse, I have to believe that a confrontation between Marcus and you both will be the most likely way to trip him up," Jack says. "If you are willing, I'd like to work with you to trap Marcus Eaton and make him pay for his crimes. Your help in exchange for a plea deal, Tris."

Our eyes lock for just a moment before we both answer with a firm yes.

Tris and I are all in.


	9. Chapter 36: Happily Ever After

**Chapter 36: Happily Ever After (M version)**

 **Date: Mid-October +o+ Baby Natty is 9 months old**

 **^^ A Month Later ^^**

 ****Tris POV****

"Mama… mama… ma-mah!" Natty babbles from her high chair, her baby puff snacks bouncing on the tray as she pounds on it with her chubby little palms. I finish swiping the mascara onto the eyelashes of my left eye and pause to turn and smile at her before repeating on my other eyelashes. I had dragged her chair near the doorway to the bathroom before I started to apply my makeup― something once so foreign to me, but which, under Christina's influence, has become routine― so that Natty could see me. Now that she is pulling up on furniture and cruising, I can hardly leave her out of my sight for a moment, and I want to look perfect tonight.

Natty smiles widely at me, showing off the six pearly white teeth at the center of her mouth: four on top, two on the bottom. When Monica's husband smuggled my daughter to Amity a month ago, she had only four teeth. When we were reunited with Natty two weeks ago, that little detail― that I missed the emergence of two new teeth, that I wasn't there when she was undoubtedly up crying with the pain of teething― caused me to burst into tears, mourning the time I had lost with her even while I was overjoyed to have her back.

Really, I know how fortunate I am that I was only separated from her 2 ½ weeks; had Jack Kang not pushed so hard to move Marcus and Evelyn's legal proceedings along quickly, much more time would have passed before we deemed the situation safe. But in those few weeks, Marcus and Evelyn's separate trials were completed and their sentences carried out. Marcus was convicted on forty-two counts of conspiracy to commit murder ― one for each person who died in that bus accident ― and was promptly executed. Four and I chose not to attend the execution; we just wanted to move on with our lives, so instead, that was the day that we traveled to Amity and retrieved Natty from Monica's cousin, Tracy, who had clearly taken excellent care of her in our absence.

Evelyn was sentenced to life in prison for the steps she had taken toward overthrowing the government. That sentence ended up being much shorter than anticipated; only a few days after we brought Natty back to Dauntless, Four received word that his mother had died in the prison dining hall. Four had told me about how his mother cursed her own people on the day they were captured, and I witnessed the way she turned on them in her trial; it seems that in the process, she burned every last bridge she had and made some fierce enemies. I am sure that Four's role in the arrests of his mother and her followers didn't help anything. In the end, it was one of her own former allies that shanked Evelyn to death with a toothbrush that had been sharpened into a shiv.

When I heard the news about Evelyn's sudden death, the first thing I felt was relief. While a violent end like that is something I wouldn't wish even on that vile woman, Natty is always my top priority, and both people who threatened her safety were now dead, and unable to ever put my daughter in danger again. But that relief only lasted a moment. There in front of me stood Evelyn's son, the man I love with all my heart. My heart sank when I realized the emotions that might be playing through Four's mind and heart; Evelyn may have put him through hell, she may have left him at the mercy of a monster, and threatened the life that he had built for himself and people he loved most… but she was still his mother, and I feared how her death would affect him.

Four quickly reassured me that he was okay. "Marcus and Evelyn… they're not my family, Tris," he told me. "I gave up the idea that they could fill that role in my life a long time ago. It doesn't matter what my birth certificate says, it matters who fills my heart. _You_ are my family, Tris― you and Natty. As long as I have you two, I'm alright, Tris. You're all I want and all I need."

I was skeptical at first, waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it never did. Four really had come to terms with his parents' inability to love him the way he needed long before their deaths, and he closed that chapter of his life, focusing instead on the life we are building together here in Dauntless. We are happy, we love each other, and the rest is just static.

He is the man I want to spend forever with. I've hinted at that fact, and I feel like he has, too, but I haven't been able to bring myself to actually ask him what his thoughts are on our future together. What if I'm misreading his feelings and bringing up something like _the rest of our lives_ or _marriage_ is just too soon for Four? Things are so good right now, the last thing I want to do is scare him off. We're young, there's plenty of time for that. I know he loves and is committed to Natty and me, and for now, that's enough.

Natty lets out a high pitched squeal just as I finish applying my makeup. I smile at her and she reaches her arms up to me as I lift her out of the high chair. "Hi, baby girl," I coo. "What do you think? Does Mommy look pretty for her date with Four tonight?" Natty babbles random syllables and pats my face with her chubby little hands before giving me a wet kiss on the chin.

I laugh as I glance at the clock. "Come on, sweetie, let's get you ready to go. You get to hang out with Chris and Will tonight!" Natty smiles happily; she loves Christina. Like most of our friends, Christina is practically family to Natty. Once everything was safe, we even were able to admit to our friends that Natty is both Four and my half-sister. Everyone was shocked. Zeke tried to mask his hurt at Four keeping such big secrets from him even after two years as best friends, though Christina and Uriah were much more open about their displeasure. But in the end, after hearing the full story, everyone understood the choices we made and moved past it pretty seamlessly. It's a relief to have it all out in the open among the important people in our lives.

While Natty loves Christina, she likes Will, too; she just didn't spend much time with him while he and Chris were on the outs. But Will and Natty are getting to know one another better now that he and Christina are giving their relationship another try. He and Four are becoming friends as well now that Four accepted the leadership position, as they now work together. Four talks a lot with me about his work in leadership, and he is glad that he finally accepted the position― it's going well. He's on a faster track than Will is to a full leadership position, considering how many years Max has tried to recruit Four and his role in stopping a factionless rebellion, but I know Will is the coworker he is most comfortable with. Eric has always been a thorn in Four's side, but the comical stories the boys share about working with Eric always have me laughing. He is definitely an _interesting_ character, but Four seems to have the situation well under control. It's pretty well known that Four is Max's "golden boy", and it also helps that Four played such a large role in bringing down a threat that would impact the entire city.

We talk about how my day at work went nearly every night as well. I'm only a few months away from graduating from student to intern and even though I'm mostly just doing grunt work at this point, I find everything in the infirmary fascinating. The classes I am taking make me confident for the time when I will be expected to be more hands on with patients. I know this was the right choice for me; I don't think I'll ever get bored. The Erudite side of my work makes me feel closer to my father and brother, and helping people keeps me connected to my Abnegation roots. I think my parents would be proud of me.

I blow raspberries on Natty's tummy before I pull her little black shirt over her head, and she giggles and squirms. Another glance at the clock tells me that Four will be off work any minute; I'm supposed to meet him by the net in an hour, and Christina my very well insist upon adding to my makeup, though I swear I've done everything she taught me. I pull socks on Natty's feet to keep them warm― she doesn't need shoes yet― and hold her close to me, breathing in her scent. She sighs contentedly and rests her head on my shoulder as I sling the diaper bag over the opposite arm and hurry out the door.

* * *

I arrive to the net much more made-up than I was when I left my apartment; just as I feared, Christina insisted that my make-up was too light, my hair was too plain, and my dress too modest. So now, my eye make-up is a touch more drastic but still classic, she only added a gloss on top of the color I had originally chosen, my hair is in a fishtail braid, and I am tugging down one of Christina's dresses, which only comes to mid-thigh. I can't help but wonder what the dress looks like on Christina, who is much taller than I am.

I climb the stairs to the platform next to the net, and a swarm of butterflies takes flight in my stomach as Four comes into view. He looks so handsome in his button-down gray-and-black striped shirt and black jeans― my favorite ones, the ones that hug his butt perfectly― that my stomach does flips and I just want to drag him home and have my way with him.

He lights up when he sees me and looks me up and down. "Wow," Four breathes. "You look amazing, Tris."

"You look pretty handsome yourself," I tease as I rise up onto my toes and kiss him, careful not to ignite a fire that we can't put out. "So, what do you have planned for us tonight?"

"It's a surprise," Four smirks. He picks up a basket I hadn't noticed sitting behind him and takes my hand. But he doesn't lead me down the steps yet; he just looks at the net for a moment, then back at me. "You know, Tris, our reunion here at the net… well, it didn't go like I had imagined it." I laugh lightly; I remember how angry I was with him in that moment. We both understand one another, the feelings we were each struggling with at that time, and we're okay with it all. What happened before is past and forgiven, but still a part of our story and important to each of us.

"I know," I say, smiling reassuringly.

"But it was still the beginning of our journey together― as the people we are now." He begins to lead me down the stairs. "It's taken some time, and we've overcome so much together." We reach the bottom of the stairs and he leads me to a door. We begin to climb, and the flight after flight of stairs. As he continues I realize that we are climbing onto the roof, the place we each first jumped off the train to enter Dauntless for the first time. "While we are different people than we were as sheltered kids in Abnegation, I never want to forget where we started. Somewhere inside Four and Tris, we're still Tobias and Beatrice, too.

"And Tobias and Beatrice… had some of their most important moments on rooftops," he continues as he pushes on a heavy metal door at the top of the eleventh flight of stairs. It opens with a groan; I step over the threshold and he props it open with a segment of pipe someone left near the door.

I gasp as I take in the sight before me. The rooftop has been transformed into the most romantic setting I have ever laid eyes on. All around, candles flicker, each in small lanterns to protect them from the wind. A small table is set in the middle of the rooftop with a bouquet of colorful flowers in a vase― lit of course with another lantern, this one decorative looking― atop a white tablecloth. Next to the table I see a bottle of champagne chilling in a bucket of ice.

Four takes my hand again and leads me to the table, setting, the basket down next to the champagne. "Four," I say, unable to hide the astonishment from my voice, "this is amazing. I can't believe you did all this… for me." He just smiles and kisses my hand. But his smile looks a little forced, and I notice his hand shaking in mine. "Are you alright, Four?" I ask, bringing my free hand to his cheek. He leans into my touch and closes his eyes.

Four takes a deep breath in and lets it out slowly. To be honest, he's kind of scaring me; I've never seen him so nervous before. Then he opens his eyes, and I get lost in their deep blue, that dreaming, sleeping, waiting color, and my stomach flips again as I am overwhelmed by the love I see pouring from them.

"Tris," Four says quietly, "I wanted to eat dinner before I say this, but I just can't wait any longer." I bite my lip nervously, and he runs his thumb across to free it.

"The first time I saw you," he begins, "was on a rooftop. I will never forget that first moment you turned around and looked at me. You were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life, and the sadness I saw in your eyes pierced right into my heart. I wanted nothing more than to take that sadness away, hold onto you and keep you safe. Right away, I knew you were different, Tris. I could tell. And I was certain of it when we kissed for the first time. That kiss... " He runs his thumb over the pendant hanging from a chain around my neck― the same necklace that he gave me more than two years ago, the first gift I ever received. "I never forgot about you. I got you this necklace shortly after that, and held onto it in hopes that one day, we would meet again."

"Then some months later, after we were thrown into such an awkward situation by our parents' marriage, after all the time we spent fighting our feelings, we ended up on another rooftop." I smile at the memory― I was so hurt and angry that night. "That night, we finally admitted how we really felt about one another. We knew it would be complicated, but something like what we have… it just cannot be denied, Tris. I had already fallen in love with you then, and knowing that you had feelings for me, too… it was the greatest night of my life, only to finally be topped when you forgave me by the Chasm."

I cup his cheek with my palm and stand on my toes to kiss him. "I love you," I murmur.

"I love you too, Tris… so much," he sighs. Then he reaches into his pocket and the next thing I know, he is sinking down to kneel before me. When it registers, what I'm seeing― when I realize that in front of me is the love of my life, the most gorgeous man I've ever seen, kneeling before me on one knee― when I see the small black velvet box in his hands― I gasp into my hands.

"Tris Prior," Four says, his dark blue eyes piercing into me, "I have loved you for many years, and I love you more every day. I know there is no one else I want to wake up next to, share my secrets with, share my life with. You and Natty are everything to me, Tris, and you always will be. I'm all in." My eyes go blurry with happy tears as he opens the box to reveal a perfectly simple diamond ring. "Tris, will you marry me?"

My hands are still over my mouth covering my smile, I can't catch my breath, I feel like I am floating on a cloud. It's the increasingly nervous look in Four's eyes that brings me back to earth enough to choke out a response. "Yes," I cry out, pulling my hands away and holding the left out to him. "I am all in, too! Yes, yes, of course I will," I exclaim as Four takes the ring out of the box and slides it onto my finger. He doesn't even give me time to examine it closer before pulling me down onto his knee and kissing me passionately.

After dinner, Four leads me right past Christina's place without stopping for Natty. I begin to protest but he picks me up bridal style and continues on to his apartment. "I already cleared it with Will," he explains as he fumbles trying to get the key into his door. "He and Chris will keep the baby overnight. I want you all to myself tonight, future wife."

"Good planning, future husband," I laugh as he carries me over the threshold and kicks the door shut. He carries me straight to his bed and tosses me onto it playfully. I lean back on my elbows, not bothering to right my skirt that is riding up onto my hip, and smirk at him as he looks me up and down hungrily. I know exactly what he has in mind, but I ask anyway. "Now that you have me all to yourself, what are you going to do with me?"

Four smirks back. "I have a few ideas," he admits as he joins me on the bed, covering my body with his.

That hungry, almost predatory look he's been giving me already has a dull ache building low in my stomach, but Four takes his time. He kisses me slowly as his hand trails down my side, sending shivers of anticipation through me. I moan as he kisses down my neck to the ravens on my collarbone and drags his hand behind me until he finds the zipper at my back. I sit up so he can pull the zipper down as I, much less patiently than he is undressing me, unbutton his shirt. We pepper each other's bodies with kisses as the heap of discarded clothing on the floor grows.

Finally all that's left is my black lace panties. Four hooks his thumbs under the waistband at each of my hips, and slowly drags them down my legs. He tosses them to the floor before kissing up my right leg, skipping past the place I need him most before ghosting down the other leg with his lips, then back up. I feel his hot breath hovering over my center and grip the sheets with my fingers.

After what feels like forever but if probably only seconds, his velvet tongue licks a slow stripe up my seam before his lips latch around my clit. My groan of pleasure spurs him on, alternating between sucking and circling my most sensitive place with his tongue. I grip his short hair with my fingers, pushing him down into me as I grind against his mouth, and he pushes his fingers inside me. "Oh― oh, don't stop," I pant as his ministrations quickly push me to a familiar summit. I gasp out his name as he pushes his fingers deeper inside me and hooks them to hit that perfect spot, simultaneously nipping at my clit with his teeth, and I tumble over the edge.

While I recover, Four grins cockily as he slides up my body. I pull him against me and kiss him hard, tasting myself on his tongue. Our tongues dance as he enters me and we rock together, whispering I love yous between our moans and whimpers of pure bliss, until we are both finally spent. I cuddle into Four and he pulls the blanket over us before we both drift off to sleep.

* * *

 **Date: Mid-December +o+ Baby Natty is 11 months old**

 **^^ Two Months Later ^^**

 ****Four POV****

"Will, this is ridiculous. You can't be serious," I groan. "Tris and I don't believe in these stupid superstitions."

Will shakes his head. "I don't either― the idea that seeing your bride before the wedding will somehow ruin your marriage is ridiculous. But Christina _does_ , and you know how she is! I can't lie to her! She has those crazy freakish Candor lie detector abilities!" He glances around nervously and blushes when he sees the black-and-white clothed Candor members nearby glare at him. We are in their faction, after all.

I shake my head. "So what you're actually saying is that you're afraid of your girlfriend getting mad at you," I smirk.

"Yes," Will sighs. "Yes, okay? She's gonna freak out. So you can't go in there. I will watch for Tris to come out and go to the elevator while you stay here around the corner, and I'll let you know when she's gone."

I stare Will down. I have no intention of signing Natty's adoption papers without Tris right next to me, just because Christina has some silly superstition. After a moment, I uncross my arms and place one hand on each of Will's shoulders.

"Will," I say, shaking my head slightly, "you're Dauntless. Be brave." Then I let my hands drop from his shoulders and walk purposefully around the corner and down the hall to Jack Kang's office to meet Tris and Natty, ignoring the objections that Will calls out after me.

Tris's back is to me when I open the door to Jack's office, and she immediately turns and smiles at me, her eyes lit up with happiness, as blue as a summer's day.

Natty reaches for me from Tris's arms. "Look, Natty, it's Dada!" Tris says. We started teaching Natty to call me 'Dada' the morning after my proposal; she already knew Tris as Mama. She hasn't quite got it yet.

"Hi, Natty! I missed you," I coo as I take her from Tris's arms, even though I just saw her last night. I kiss the top of her head and bury my nose in her wispy blonde hair, breathing the sweet baby scent that I became fond of the first time I was alone with Natty, after Capture the Flag just six months ago. Some might think Tris and I are moving too fast, but we feel ready. We've been through enough together to know that we can make it through whatever life throws at us, and that we want to face those challenges together.

"Alright, I have the adoption documents ready for you here. Four, you will sign next to the blue flags, and Tris, you sign next to the red ones," Jack instructs us. "Be sure to check every page; we don't want to have to call you back here due to incomplete documents."

I let Natty down and follow her as she toddles around the room until Tris tells me that she's finished; we trade places and I sign next to each blue flag― seven of them in all― and then flip carefully through each page once again to be sure I haven't missed anything.

Jack looks over the paperwork. I couldn't keep the smile off my face if I tried as I watch Tris and Natty. Tris quickly swoops in to right a glass sculpture that Natty nearly knocks over before chasing after her to prevent the next potential catastrophe. Ever since Natty began to walk last month, she's become quite the handful, curious and quick. I could imagine Tris being that way as a toddler, I'm sure she kept Natalie on her toes. I chuckle under my breath before I rescue Tris by scooping up Natty, who giggles at the sudden weightlessness.

"All right," says Jack, and Tris and I gather again in front of his desk. "Everything looks to be in order. Congratulations on the adoption of your daughter, and on your wedding. This is a big day for you three," he says warmly. We've become quite friendly with Jack Kang over the past month, though I hope not to be required in Candor again for a very long time.

* * *

 **^^Wedding reception, later that day^^**

Tris and I sway back and forth to some romantic-sounding music, our first dance together as a married couple. Our first public dance together, period, actually― we have practiced it a few times in our apartments, but never in front of other people.

"I know this day is about us and all, but I'm not loving having so many people staring at us," Tris admits.

"I know what you mean―" I'm cut off by Tris laughing. I pull back and raise an eyebrow.

"Christina and Will," she chuckles. I maneuver us, still dancing the whole time, so that I can see in the direction she was looking. Will looks like a puppy with his tail between his legs as Christina wags a finger at him, while Uriah holds Natty with one hand covering her ear with the other pressed into his chest while he edges away from Christina.

"He was supposed to keep us apart today," I admit, chuckling. "He obviously failed." Will is now glaring at me from across the room. I just shrug and smirk.

"I know," Tris laughs. "Chris gave me an earful while she was getting me ready for the ceremony. This must be the first chance she's had to yell at Will for it. She'll get over it, probably in about ten minutes. They'll be fine." Christina and Will ended their "break" a few months ago, and while Christina's dramatics have been brought out by arguments a few times, they seem to be a lot better at working through their disagreements than they had before their "break."

I lift one hand to cup her cheek. "There was no way some stupid superstition of Christina's was keeping me from my wife and daughter today, of all days. This is the happiest day of my life."

After a few more songs, Tris and I sneak away from the dance floor to eat a few bites of dinner and share a glass of champagne. As we finish eating, Uriah and Marlene approach us, Marlene now carrying Natty. She hands her to Tris and Natty waves bye-bye to Mar before nuzzling her face into her mother's neck. "Has she been any trouble?" Tris asks.

"Of course not! My little sweetheart is always an angel," Uriah scoffs.

Marlene just laughs. "No, she's been as sweet as always and liked dancing with us," she adds as Uriah slips his arm around her waist. "Do you guys mind if we slip away to dance without her for a few, though?"

"Of course not," I smile. "We're going to miss her this weekend." We've decided to honeymoon on the outskirts of Amity, and Natty and Monica will stay with Tracy, Monica's cousin, in Amity while we're gone, so at least we won't be too far away from her. Marlene pulls Uriah onto the dance floor and they sway to a slow, romantic song. Whenever I see them together, I wonder how I could have ever been so worried about Uriah and Tris, when Marlene has clearly always been perfect for him.

Shauna and Zeke approach us next. Tris hands Natty over to me before Shauna gives her a hug and congratulates us. Zeke claps his hand on my shoulder. "I can't believe you're really married, Four," he laughs. "I never thought I'd see the day that you actually got serious with a girl, let alone get married a few months later and adopt a baby. I'm happy for you, man."

"Thanks, Zeke," I smile.

"What can I say," he says quietly, and quiet is unusual for Zeke. "You're happier than I've ever seen you, it makes this whole settling down thing look attractive." I smirk. I know how much Zeke adores Shauna, maybe they'll be the next ones at the altar.

"Want us to take Natty so you can get back to the dance floor?" Shauna offers.

"No, thank you," Tris declines, "I would like a few more minutes with her now." Shauna nods with understanding. Those few weeks away from Natty while things were sorted out with Marcus and Evelyn were excruciating for both of us, and while I know we are both looking forward to the honeymoon, I think we are both a little apprehensive at the thought of being away from our daughter for several nights.

We mill around the room, letting Natty steal most of the attention as we thank our guests. We finally come to Amar and George, who both made it back from their missions just a few weeks ago. Had they been back to Dauntless sooner, we may have married even more quickly, but I wanted Amar to officiate the ceremony. He did a fantastic job, just as I knew he would. I just couldn't get married without my mentor present.

"You have a beautiful family here, Four," George says warmly.

"Yes, we're looking forward to getting to know you both better," Amar directs to Tris.

Tris smiles. "Likewise," Tris says. "Four has told me a lot about you both. Thank you for being there for him." Over the past few months, I've told Tris a lot more about my first couple of years at Dauntless, and Amar and George played an essential role in my adjusting to life here and becoming the man I am today.

"Well, there will be plenty of time for that," Amar assures us. "Max doesn't expect us to be sent out on any more extended missions for a while. You're stuck with us."

"Damn," I joke. "And I thought I'd escaped your meddling." George gives me a hearty laugh. He and Amar know how important they are to me, and Amar has expressed his regret that he wasn't here to help me through the turmoil of Tris's first few months in Dauntless. But it doesn't matter now; Tris and I came through it, and it made us stronger than we ever were before.

* * *

"This is perfect," Tris sighs, looking around the one-room cabin we will spend the next three nights in.

I nod and glance back to smile at her as I pull the screen back over the fireplace. I sit down on the couch next to her and tug at the blanket she is covered with and pulling it over me as well; the room is just beginning to warm up

Being cuddled up near the fireplace, seeing Tris's golden hair falls in waves around her shoulders reminds me of another time, in what feels like another life. I so clearly remember watching Tris take the pins out of her bun in our Abnegation living room, in front of a fireplace much like this one. I had never been able to ignore how beautiful she was, but seeing her hair down took my breath away. There was something so special and intimate about that moment.

Tris must recognize the way I'm looking at her, because she smirks. "What are you thinking about, Four?"

"How beautiful you are." I run my fingers through her hair, slowly and gently. "How beautiful you've always been. How much I love you, and how easy it was to fall in love with you."

Tris looks almost a little shy as she smiles but still reaches up to wrap her arms around my neck and pulls me down toward her. "I love you, Four," she says against my lips before pressing her lips against mine.

The kiss quickly deepens and I stand by the couch, pulling her up with me. I almost hate to take her full-skirted white dress off her― she has never looked more beautiful than she did in this dress today― but I'm still relieved when my fingers find a zipper. I remember looking in the windows of the bridal shop once and noticing that some of the dresses had countless buttons. I thank my lucky stars she didn't choose a dress like that, I don't think I could have waited that long to get her out of this thing.

"Take me to bed, Mr. Eaton," Tris giggles as the dress pools at her feet.

I scoop her up in my arms and she begins unbuttoning my shirt as I carefully step around the dress and carry her to the bed. "With pleasure, Mrs. Eaton."

I lay Tris gently on the bed and discard my shirt before I hover over her, just barely skimming my palm over her lace bra as I kiss her deeply while her hands continue their way down, now unbuttoning my pants. But I want to take this slow tonight. I want to take my time enjoying Tris. We are finally safe, and this is our first time together as husband and wife. It's a moment that I want to savor.

I wrap my fingers around hers and pull her hand away from me. Slowly I begin to kiss every inch of her skin, starting at her ear and jawline, down her neck, then her shoulders and even down her arm, taking an extra moment with the raven on her wrist that represents Natty. I make my way up the other arm before moving on to her collarbone, again pausing at the black ravens that stand out against her creamy white skin. The next place I pause is her breasts, giving them plenty of extra attention before continuing my path down her stomach.

I kiss and caress down one leg, skipping her center, before coming back up the other. Goosebumps stand out all over Tris's skin and it's hard to continue taking my time as I look up at my gorgeous bride, her chest heaving in anticipation.

I move toward the final area I have neglected, so close my lips are almost touching her skin, and stop there, letting her feel my breath on her core before I lick a stripe up her slit, ending at her sensitive bundle of nerves. I have to hold her hips in place to keep her still enough as I pleasure her with my mouth. She tastes amazing and when her breath is coming out in short gasps I stop and slide back up her body. She pulls me to her in a crushing kiss and I rub my tip between her folds a few times before slowly sliding inside her.

When I am fully sheathed we pause, breathing the same air, my forehead resting against hers. Then we begin to rock our hips together at the same time, as if we were reading one another's minds. Our lovemaking is slow and tender, filled with kisses and whispered I love yous, until we are both spent and finally collapse in a tangled heap on the bed. Both feeling sated and completely loved, and exhausted by the long day, I wrap my body around Tris and fall asleep with her in my arms― the way I want to fall asleep every night for the rest of my life.

* * *

 **^^Three Days Later^^**

I stop Tris just before the pathway to Tracy's home. Though we are both anxious to see Natty, it is still hard to let go of these blissful few days having Tris all to myself. "Ready to get back to real life?" I ask her.

"Ready or not, it's time," she responds, standing on her toes to give me a long, slow kiss. "Come on, let's go get _our_ daughter. We'll come back to the cabin again someday."

Tris and I agreed as we prepared to leave the cabin that we would definitely be returning sometime, maybe even as an anniversary getaway for a night or two each year. Knowing that we would recreate our honeymoon again one day made it less difficult to leave behind.

Tris takes my hand and leads me up the path. As we near the door I nearly forget all about my longing to spend more time alone with Tris, because I know that in a few moments I will see my daughter. Three nights is almost too long to be away from her, even for our honeymoon.

I knock, and can hear children's laughter beyond the door. Tracy soon answers with a bright smile on her face and a little boy― one of the daycare children― peeking around her legs. "Four, Tris! Natty has been a little joy, but she will be so happy to see you. She's in the kitchen with Monica eating her afternoon snack."

"Thank you so much, Tracy― we can't wait to see her," Tris says warmly before we hurry back to the kitchen.

When we come through the door, Monica is just finishing up wiping Natty's hands and face with a damp washcloth. She hears us enter and glances back, then moves out of Natty's way so that she can see us.

Her little face lights up as we both rush toward her. Tris reaches her first. "Mama, Mama!" Natty squeals as Tris lifts her out of the high chair.

Then Natty reaches for me. "Dada!" she exclaims. I feel tears well in my eyes, finally hearing her say that word, and seeing that Tris is holding back tears as well as she places Natty in my arms. I hold Natty against my shoulder and kiss her head, smell that amazing baby scent with my nose buried in her hair.

In that moment, I feel that everything is finally right in the world. We have struggled and we have grown stronger despite every obstacle, every struggle, every deception and every secret. I finally have the family I know a part of me always secretly wished for.

 **++o+ Story End +o++**


End file.
